AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“I didn’t want to share you with anyone. I didn’t want someone else having a say inourlife,” I explain honestly. “Because when you get married, that’s what happens. You have to think of someone else other than just yourself,” I explain.
I can see the wheels turning in her head as she knits her brows together. “Is it wrong to say that I’m glad you never got married?” she asks.
“It’s not wrong to feel how you feel,” I answer honestly, reaching out to touch her hair.
“But I feel bad because I want you to be happy.”
Pulling her into my arms, I say, “Don’t feel bad. These are my choices.” But I don’t say that these are myconsequencestoo. The decisions I made in my past have affected her, but I’ve done everything since to make up for it.
“But I’m the reason you don’t have someone,” she frets and looks up at me with her big blue eyes.
“Don’t need anyone but you, kid.” I kiss the top of her head.
“Youcouldsee someone,” she says, “if you wanted to.”
Sighing heavily, I can’t help but think about the other night and the man that caused me to abandon all reason. He stripped me bare with his eyes and his hands, pulling things from me I didn’t even know I still had. Do I regret it? In theory, maybe, because I’m incapable of separating feelings from necessity, and now I’ve opened myself up to the knowledge of what I’ve been missing. It’s a fine line to walk, being a woman made of flesh and blood and being a mother. The two shouldn’t contradict each other, but nature demands it.
“Have you ever?” she asks when I don’t respond.
“Have I ever what?” I ask while finishing the dishes.
“Seen someone?” she answers. “Like a boyfriend?” Her big blue eyes look to me for answers. “It’s okay if you have and never told me. I get it.”
I never lie to my kid.
I’ve never had to.
“Yes.” She waits for me to finish, but I don’t elaborate.
“What happened to them?”
I lean my hip against the counter, drying my hands on a towel and slinging it over my shoulder. Noelle and I are a package deal. That doesn’t end when she turns eighteen. It’s for life. Even when she doesn’t live with me anymore, our relationship doesn’t change, but it would if I brought someone into our life in any serious manner.
“None of them were Jake Ryan,” I say simply, and then look her directly in the eye, tilting my mouth into a small smirk. “Besides, I have my own Porsche.”
8
EARTH TO LAKE
How you Feel by Wargirl
Tapping a pen to my lip, I stare down at the joggers on the Scottsdale waterfront trail getting in an early morning run before the triple digit temperatures make it unbearable. It’s a clear day, the clouds burned away by the hot summer sun, and I can see the golden brown and red hues of the McDowell Mountain range in the distance. At least I get a pretty view from my office, especially if I have to spend so much time here.
Large wooden bookcases line the wall behind my desk, various binders containing historical data, but mostly it’s there for show. A glass plaque that I received only this past year celebrating my twenty years with the company sits on one of the shelves. I’ve put so much of my energy into building this company, which was once small with only a handful of employees, and that plaque is really all I have as a reminder. Raising Noelle on my own had its challenges, even without trying to work my way up in a company and in an industry that is male dominated. In technology, it’s so much harder to be taken seriously as a woman.
In these few quiet moments before the office fills with employees and the emails demand attention, I allow myself a few scandalous thoughts. The memory of calloused fingers skimming over my bare skin, gripping my legs, and brown eyes looking up at me from under thick black lashes from between my thighs, causes heat to prickle up my neck.
When I close my eyes, I can almost feel his tongue circling my nipple, and the sweet burn of his…
“Earth to Lake!” Miles yells as if he’s called my name a few times before grabbing my attention.
With his tablet in hand, he stands in the doorway in his pressed linen pants, shiny loafers, and smiling face.
“I asked if you had a nice weekend,” he says, as I round my desk and take a seat in the soft leather high back chair. “How was the shower?”
I squeeze my thighs together. “Fine. It was like a Disney princess threw up glitter all over the place.” I clear my throat. “Oh, by the way, black and gold wrapping paper?” I shake my head and when I look up at him, I notice he swallows hard. “An excellent choice,” I say, smiling.
Miles continues to stand in my doorway as if he’s waiting for something, so I pull my glasses from my face and ask, “How wasyourweekend, Miles?”
