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“She’ll be so devastated when she finds out it’s me. Our friendship will be destroyed. That’s why I haven’t told her the truth. I wanted to on so many occasions, but…” I shake my head helplessly. “I can’t stand hurting her. Which is messed up because I’m hurting her right now.”
“Oh, Liam.” Willow wraps me in her arms. “What a mess you’ve made.”
“I know.” The tears finally break through. “Ugh, sorry. This is so embarrassing.”
“Nothing is embarrassing.” She rubs her hand down my back. “But you need to tell her. Even if it’ll hurt her. She deserves to know the truth. And you’re putting me in a difficult position, too. I don’t want to lie to my best friend.”
“I know. I’m sorry. I want to tell her. Iwilltell her. I just…I just need some more time…”
She pulls back and looks into my eyes. “She’s falling hard for him. That’s why I did the trace. I wanted to make sure Chloe wasn’t falling for a creep.” She sighs. “Liam…”
“I know. I suck.”
“No. I just wish you would have told her the truth from the start.”
“She and I would be over. Well, we’ll be over the second I tell her the truth. We’ll lose our special bond. And we’ll never get it back.”
“Liam—”
I step away and turn toward the door. “Sorry, Willow. For putting you in this position. I’m going.”
“I’m worried about you. Can’t you talk to Lily about this?”
I lower my gaze to my shoes. “She’d be so disappointed in me. And I don’t want to put her in the same position as I’m putting you in.”
“I get it. Just talk to me, okay? Don’t shut me out like this.”
“I don’t know. I need to be alone.”
I stalk out of her room and down the stairs, heading for the door. It’s possible Mia or Charlie or Asher call after me, but I pay no attention to them. I run around the neighborhood, keeping close to my house because it’s getting pretty late. I run as fast as I can, letting the sweat drip all over me. As though I want what I did to drip out of me, too.
When I get back home, I’m practically soaked.
“Ew.” Lily wrinkles her nose at me as I head to the fridge for water. “You look like you just took a shower.”
I don’t say anything as I gulp down the water. I wish I could just… I don’t know. Not be myself right now. Go back in time and stop myself from doing something so stupid.
“Liam? You okay?”
“Fine.” I pour whatever’s left of the water bottle over my head.
“You’re my twin. I know when you’re not okay. What’s wrong?”
“I’m fine, Lily. Just stressed about the game next week. I’ve got a lot of homework. Good night.”
I go up to my room and collapse on my bed, not caring that I’m getting it wet.
Chloe’s expecting a letter from her secret admirer. The letter I received from her this morning is still in the hidden compartment of my backpack. The one no one knows about, not even Lily. They also don’t know about the supply closet on the third floor of school where Derek and I have been meeting to exchange the letters.
Chloe.
Chloe.
Chloe.
I’m going to lose her before I even had her.
Chapter Thirty
