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Ev bursts out laughing. “Yeah, me too. You know how I said I didn’t want you to come to the dinner next week when Lake’s here?”
“Yeah,” I reply, hiding the hurt in my voice. At the time, I wasn’t sure why it hurt so much to be left out of the dinner except for the fact that I’ve always considered Ev and Mr. C my family, but maybe there’s more to it.
“I’ve changed my mind. If you want, I’d like you to be there. I think it might be good for you to meet him in person, see if you feel and see what I do. I think there might be something there between us, but it’s nothing compared to what I feel for you. I want you to be on board with it, even if we stay nothing more than friends.”
I squeeze Ev’s hand and rest my forehead against his, feeling at peace. That’s what I want more than anything—to be fully a part of Ev’s life. Even if we never do anything sexual again, for him to want me to be there and meet a guy who’s clearly important to him, that means fucking everything to me.
“I’d love that.”
A throat clears behind me, and on instinct, I go to step away from Ev, but he grabs my hand as he nods toward the coffee cups. “Morning, Dad, I made you some coffee.”
I’m not sure what I’m expecting when Ev’s pops catches us, but it’s not this. I mean, we weren’t even doing anything, but the moment was clearly intimate, so I expected some kind of reaction. But Mr. C just grunts and heads toward the steaming mug. “Thank you, Ev. You know I need my coffee in the morning.”
We’re still standing there holding hands, and I know he notices because he glances down, but he doesn’t say a damn thing. And really, what do I want to say? He’s not like my sperm donor. He knows full well that Ev is bisexual and never bats an eye, but he practically raised me. I expect for him to have something to say if he sees us holding hands and standing insanely close like some kind of couple.
But instead of commenting on whatever this is, he goes, “Ev, you have time for breakfast? I was gonna put on some eggs and bacon.”
Ev pulls away from me to dig his phone out of his pocket. “Yeah, I’ve got some time. Breakfast sounds good. I’ll help.”
And just like that, the whole thing is over and I’m left floundering, wondering why I’m the only one making this into a thing.
THIRTEEN
LAKE
“Are you sure you don’t want me to come with you?” River asks for the thousandth time.
It’s the day I’m meeting Eric Cirillo and having dinner with him and his son, Evander, as well as another man that Evander just called Logan. I’m a little anxious over the dinner, but River is about to lose his mind, and I don’t understand why.
“I’m not sure what you’re so concerned about. I am perfectly capable of having a meal on my own.”
We’re in the bedroom of my townhouse while I pick an appropriate outfit. River is sprawled out on my bed and not helping me at all. Miri is asleep in the Pack n’ Play I bought for my home so River and Cooper didn’t have to keep moving it back and forth. River rolls his eyes at me as he tosses a rolled up pair of socks up and down idly.
“Lake, you’re about to go to a strange man’s home, one you only met once in your life as a child twenty years ago. And oh yeah, he’s a drug dealer.”
“Was. He was a drug dealer, River. You have to know I did an extensive background check on both Eric and Evander before confirming the details of this meeting. He’s been clean since that day. Not even a parking ticket. No signs of drug use or dealing. Evander also has a clean record. He’s an editor for a publishing company.”
“Doesn’t mean he’s not a psychopath,” River replies dryly.
“River, I assure you, I’ll be fine. I’ll keep my phone on me at all times, keep alert, and let you know as soon as I’m home, ok? But I don’t need you to come with me. Believe it or not, I don’t need a babysitter.”
“Ugh.” River sighs dramatically and throws the ball of socks at me. At least they’re clean. “I know that. I’m not trying to babysit you. I’m just worried. This whole thing pulled all the crazies out of the woodwork. On top of that, I know you’re more at risk because of your job. This whole thing just gives me chills. I’d feel so much better if I were there. Please.”
I don’t really know what to say about it. I mean, I don’t mind River coming with me. In a way, it would be nice for him to meet the man that helped jumpstart our new life. But I don’t want him to see me as this inconvenience he has to monitor because I’m unable to assess people on my own.
“They’d need to find out about my job for them to pose a danger to it. That’s not happening.”
“Lake, if you really don’t want me to come, I understand and I’ll do my best to wait to hear from you. I know you’re more than capable of handling yourself. That’s what you’re thinking, isn’t it? That I think you can’t judge people or a situation and need me to watch out for you?” I hate this twin thing sometimes. “Well, I’ll always look out for you, but it’s not because you can’t do it yourself. It’s because you’re my brother and I love you.”
Ugh. He’s going to win this one, isn’t he? And honestly, having him there to navigate the social aspect isn’t the worst thing. Also, I am concerned about the one person involved I hadn’t been able to vet, the man named Logan.
“I’ll text Evander and see if his father minds you coming along. I don’t want to bring a guest to a dinner party without permission.”
River beams and jumps up and hugs me. “You don’t know how relieved this makes me. Coop has something going on at work tonight so he won’t be home till late, but Cam’s home, so I’ll see if he can watch Miri. I just baked a couple apple pies today, so I’ll bring one with us, since I’m basically inviting myself.”
I sigh as I finish up the text and continue to get dressed. When did River become an avid baker? I wonder if his newfound obsession is because of his adjusting hormones or just a new hobby. Before I can ponder on this too much, my phone rings, and I see a new text from Evander.
Dad says the more the merrier.
