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CHAPTER1
ZENNOR
Now
Iused to love the feel of the sand on my feet—the gritty and coarse grains of packed, damp sand or the soft sugary flecks in the warmer, dry parts of the beach. No matter how hard you tried, you couldn’t keep the specks from covering you.
There is no place like Cornwall, and once upon a time, it didn’t matter that I grew up here. I still thought it was the centre of the world.
And it was, for a time.
Clear blue sea to rival the Mediterranean meets bright cornflower skies. The rock cliffs are lush with green and wildflowers—a patchwork of spring—even the grey stone of the cliffs looks warm.
But the weather is fickle, and summer can feel like the depths of winter. And in winter, it’s bitter, as all the colour is sucked from the countryside. The sea turns wild and scary, and the inviting waters are long forgotten.
You have to be hardy to weather a Cornish winter. And when I was feeling low, it was the thing I wished to escape the most.
Until he came into my life.
After him, there were two things I wanted to escape.
I amble along the edge of the beach. The weak sun barely warming my skin. Whenever I feel a moment of heat, the breeze steals it, chilling me back down. As I continue, I wrestle with the lifetime of feelings this place threatens to dredge from me.
In the last twenty years, I’ve walked on many a beach. But never back here. Never in Cornwall. But I’m not in a position to choose the white sands of the Maldives or somewhere glorious and sunny in the Caribbean.
This was my family home, and I had no choice but to come here, for a time at least.
Gather myself. Plan and put this failure of a marriage behind me.
The happiness I escaped here to find might still be a step out of reach. Especially when being back here only reminds me that time hasn’t healed the wounds I ran from in the first place.
CHAPTER2
JAYCE
Then
“Mum, this place is a ghost town. When you said Cornwall, I’d hoped it would be the main beaches, not this!”
Dad drives the car down a skinny-ass road with stone walls on either side. Mum’s bragged for weeks that the holiday house is right on the beach and that I’d be able to surf every day. It’s the only thing that got me to come on the stupid family holiday.
All my mates are off together to celebrate the end of exams, but my Mum had to plan this at the exact same time. I guess I’ll be doing my thing in a few weeks, anyway.
“Stop moaning, Jayce. We’ll be there in a few minutes. This is meant to be an opportunity to spend time together before you go off gallivanting around the world. Don’t make it a fight before we’ve even arrived.”
I roll my eyes and keep looking out the window, watching the blue of the sea come into view. They stay fixed on the one thing in the world to bring a smile to my face. Perhaps the next two weeks will be tolerable, after all.
Mum is good to her word, and a few minutes later, we pull up alongside a grey stone cottage, right on a road that looks like it’s going nowhere. The twins dump their books and flee from the car as if their lives depend on it. They race inside the moment Dad has the door open. All I’m concerned about is my surfboard and wetsuit, so I help Dad with the unloading. As soon as my bags are in my room, which, thank fuck, I’m not sharing with the terrible twosome, I change into my shorts, pull my wetsuit up to my waist and grab my board.
“Where do you think you’re going?” Mum twists to call as I walk towards the big, wide, blue.
“You said I could surf every day.” I smile my favourite son smile, shrug my shoulders back at her, and start a gentle jog down the road towards the beach. It winds down to a dead end, but there’s a footpath down to the sand. Not the easiest of routes, but I’d figure out a different way back.
I drop my board onto the clearest patch of sand and jump down after it.
The tide is out, and I look about at my new home, at least for a couple of weeks. A few people are already bobbing in the water, but the beach is quiet. There’s a café or maybe a shop at the other end, but I can’t see the usual surfboard or hire stuff out the front. It’s a few weeks before the main summer holiday season starts, so Sean and Billy are missing school to come on this trip. Not a hard sell for them.
With the visual reccie done, for now, I tug the zip up on my suit, secure my board leash to my ankle and take off towards the surf.
