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A hand wrapped around my wrist. For a split second, I thought it was one of my guys begging me to stay. I glanced back only to meet blue eyes that were too light and blond hair that didn’t belong to any of them.
“Ramsey, come here,” Peyton said. He pulled me toward him, and I went aimlessly.
His arms were just as big as Theon’s. His chest was just as hard and wide as Foxyn’s, and his hold just as solid as Leyton’s. Yet I felt nothing. It didn’t so much as quiet the storm of emotions raging inside me.
“Want to get out of here?” Peyton asked.
I nodded as I couldn’t talk. There was a lump in my throat, and no amount of swallowing rid me of it.
Everything around me was nothing but a blur. I hadn’t even noticed when Peyton had brought me to his car.
“I don’t think you should be alone tonight,” Peyton said.
I shrugged. I would be alone for the rest of my life. My stomach twisted the more I thought about it. The more I envisioned the disinterest on Leyton’s face and the hatred on Foxyn’s. Tears broke free, and I pressed my hands to my face.
“Hey, Ramsey.” Peyton was on the passenger side, waiting for me when I put my hands down. “Come on. My apartment is really small, but it’s better than the dorms or being alone.”
Is it?I didn’t question him as he helped me out of the car. I felt seconds away from shattering. During all those years under my uncle, being pushed to do the worst things in the world,seeing the ugliest side of humanity,the one thing that kept me going was the plan to get my guys.
“Here, sit down. Want something to drink?”
I didn’t have an answer for that either.
“I don’t know what you guys had going on, but you deserve the world, Ramsey. You’re a good guy,” Peyton said.
He passed me a beer, and I took it. I downed more than half of it before I came back up for air.Am I a good guy?No, I was horrible, but so were they. It was why we deserved each other.
Before I knew I was five beers in. Finally, the damn lump in my throat vanished.
“I should date someone like you.” I pressed my fingers against my eyelids until colorful spots danced before me.
“Why don’t you?” Peyton scooted closer. The warmth radiating from him made my skin crawl instead of drawing me like it was supposed to.
I dropped my hands and grabbed my beer. If I were drunk enough, it wouldn’t matter.
“You’d have to be interested, and no one is.” Not even the three guys I thought saw me and me alone.
Fuck, I’m stupid. Leyton’s right; a dumbass all the way.Maybe I hadn’t changed from that seventeen-year-old boy. I wanted to believe we had something so badly that I allowed my feelings for them to blind me.
Calloused fingers wrapped around my wrist and pulled my hands away from my face. I blinked away the spots as I stared up at Peyton
“I thought it was pretty obvious.” He smiled, and it was what giant teddy bears were made of. “I’m interested in you, Ramsey.”
Peyton scooted closer and cupped my face. “And if it’s still not clear, I want to take you out on a date.” He moved close and brought our lips together.
I froze there as Peyton kissed me. I waited for the fireworks or even a spark, but nothing happened. He pulled back, and I feigned a smile.This was normal. Peyton was nice and cared about me. And he wanted me in the same way I wanted the guys.
Maybe I’ll grow to love him.
The thought felt hollow. There had to be something better than pining after my bullies, knowing they’d never really love me back.
“Okay.”
“Wait, really?” Peyton’s eyes widened as he stared at me with blatant hope.
My stomach dropped to my toes. “Yeah.” I reached out for him, my grip loose as I moved to kiss him again. At the last second, I chickened out. Everything in me screamed that it wasn’t what I wanted.
I yawned and laid back. “Uh, can we plan the date tomorrow? I’m tired.”
