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I pull into the driveway and pop a piece of gum into my mouth. Not bothering to knock, I open the door and call out. “Hello?”
“Back here, sweetheart,” Robert answers.
In the family room I find my girl lying on the floor on her tummy, gurgling and babbling at her daddy, who is lying on his stomach in front of her.
“Hi sweetheart, how was your day?” Robert gives me a cheek kiss.
Chris pops up and I ignore the fact that he’s in gray sweatpants and no shirt, or at least I try, because it’s making me feel all warm inside. I try to ignore him, but it’s hard when he bends down to pick up Madison and carries her to me.
“Look, it’s Mommy,” he says in a soft voice before handing me Madison.
I kiss her cheek. “Hi, sweetheart. I missed you today. Were you a good girl for Daddy and Grandpa?”
“She was perfect,” Chris says with a smile. “Maddie did puke in my mouth today, didn’t you?” He strokes a hand over her head.
“I told him not to lift her in the air right after her bottle, but someone didn’t listen,” Robert says with a laugh.
I hug her to my chest. “Naughty girl, puking on Daddy.” She wraps her teeny tiny hand around my braid that hangs over my shoulder. Madison grips it tightly and tries to pull it into her mouth. “No, no, baby.” I look at Robert. “What should I make for dinner? I think I pulled out some ground beef—I could make a meatloaf.”
Robert looks at Chris, and he looks at me. “Dad and I decided we’re going to make you dinner tonight. You’ve done so much, taking care of this old man. Go relax and we’re going to cook.” Chris gives me a smile and motions for me to get.
In the family room, I curl up in the corner of the sectional. Madison starts nuzzling at my breast. I get myself situated and she latches on immediately. She holds onto my finger as we watch each other.
It’s moments like these that I treasure. The love I feel for her is stronger than anything I’ve felt in my entire life. When I was pregnant with her, I was scared I wouldn’t be able to love her, but the second she was in my arms I knew I’d love her until the day I die.
I look up and am startled. Chris is standing in the entry of the family room, watching us. On silent feet he walks toward me and my heart beats wildly in my chest.
He sits down next to me and strokes a hand over Madison’s head. “She looks like you.” Chris smiles at me and then looks back down at the baby. “I start my job Monday. I’m going to miss seeing her every day.”
“You know where I live, you can come see her whenever you want.” Madison stops nursing and I pull her from my breast and hand her to Chris to burp while I tuck myself back in. “You’re going to do great; you know that, right?”
Chris shakes his head. “I don’t understand how you can be so sure after everything that’s happened.”
“You were the one who decided to go into rehab. You decided to stay in California to work on yourself. No one else made you do it. I’ve only done clinicals in the rehab unit at Lutheran, but I know how hard it is. I mean, let’s face it, you look really good.”
He throws his head back, laughing, and it’s a glorious sound. Chris holds onto Madison, and she looks up at him like he’s crazy. “T-Thanks,” he said with a laugh and then sobers. “How the hell are you so wise?”
“I’m not,” I say while shaking my head. “It’s just a feeling I have.”
His eyes turn bright. “Ahem…well, thank you.” Chris leans down, kissing the top of Madison’s head, but I can see he’s smiling.
Robert
* * *
I watch Chris and Haddie from the entry of the family room. They have no clue I’m standing in the same room with them and it makes my heart happy.
This past year I worried so much about my son. First, would he make it through rehab. Next, would he stay sober, and lastly, would I get my son back. As I watch him now, I know my boy is coming back to me.
Madison stares up at her dad with those big blue eyes and you can just tell she loves him so much. I’ve been leaving him in charge while I run errands and go to the office, mainly to give them the chance to bond. He’s certainly becoming a pro at changing diapers and giving baths. It has been wonderful watching my son and granddaughter grow closer.
I only wish my Madison was here to witness our son become a father—to watch him become the man I know he’s capable of. God, I miss her—I miss her so much, and hate that she’s not here to love on her namesake. That baby girl would be so spoiled and so loved.
I am getting ready to step back when I freeze. Haddie says something to him, and my son throws his head back and laughs, and it’s a laugh I haven’t heard in a long time.
She smiles at him, and her cheeks turn pink while Madison stares at them both like she doesn’t know what they’re doing. My boy is happy, which makes me happy. I head back to the kitchen and get out the burgers, seasoning them.
My son joins me a minute later. “Hey, Dad, what do you need from me?”
