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“If you only knew the truth.” His voice is gruff.
“Then what? Do you believe it would make me leave you?”
“You would try.” I can see sadness in his eyes when he thinks about me leaving him. It makes me think that Jacob is lonelier than I’ve ever been.
“Try?” I lick my bottom lip. I already know the answer. At least I hope I do. He won’t let me go. That should scare me. It doesn't. I’m far from scared. I wrap my legs around him. I’m not going anywhere. Jacob thinks he’s a bad man. Maybe he is but he’smybad man now.
15
JACOB
“This is so easy. It’s like fishing for dummies or something.” Margaret gawks as I pull some carp from the water and stow them in my basket.
“It’s a skill. One that you know now.” I grab a bream and two more before pulling the trap from the water and shaking it off.
“Right. I can fish now!” She claps her hands.
“Sure, but you don’t have to worry about that.” I loop the trap over my shoulder and turn to her. “That’s what I’m for.”
She smiles, her bright eyes like a spotlight on me, lighting up all my darkness. It feels so good just to be with her. Waking up to her wrapped around me, I knew I didn’t deserve this sort of happiness. But the more I get, the more I realize I can’t live without it. Without her.
“Now that I know how to fish, I can pretty much rough it for the rest of my life. But, even better, I have you to do all that for me.” She taps a thoughtful finger to her chin. “So how long can we stay out here? Forever? You and me in our little cabin by the lake?”
That sounds like heaven on earth. But it’s one I can’t promise her. Not with danger on her trail. We’re safe here, probably for a long time. But Mr. Baines is a patient man, and he never leaves a loose end.
“What?” Her face falls. “Did I say something wrong?”
“No, babe.” I wrap my non-fishy arm around her and pull her close. “You say everything right.”
“Then what’s going on in that handsome head of yours?” She pulls away and looks up at me.
I don’t want to ruin this, and I’m on the edge of doing just that. So instead of telling her what we’re up against, I claim her mouth in a rough kiss.
She protests at first, perhaps trying to continue our conversation. But when she opens her mouth, I delve inside. Her taste erases every logical thought from my mind, and I slant my lips over her. Devouring her makes me feel alive, more alive than I’ve ever been. And when she moans and grips my shirt, pulling me closer, I silently vow that I will never let her go, never give up the bond that links us like a band of gold.
* * *
“When you said we needed to ‘clean’ the fish, I thought you meant like, I don’t know, rub them down with lemon or something?” She winces as I scrape the side of the bass, scales flying onto the pine straw beneath my small cleaning table at the back of cabin.
I laugh. It feels amazing. I haven’t laughed in years. Not freely, not with true joy. But that’s what she gives me.
“I clean them by getting rid of the scales.” I pause and grab one of the bream I already cleaned. “Then I take my knife--” I slide it up the fish’s stomach, reach inside, and pull out the organs, then toss them into a bucket. “Now we have just meat and bones left.”
She winces.
I smile. “Babe, you don’t have to watch if--”
“No. I’m fine. I want to learn. You know so much about everything. I want you to show me how to rough it and be, you know, tough like you.”
“You’re perfect just as you are. There’s nothing you need from me.” I slice the fish up behind its head, then lay open the inside in a filet stroke. I glance at her where she sits on her perch atop the narrow back porch. “Seriously. You don’t have to watch.”
“Continue, fish master. Teach me.” She waves a hand.
I sigh. “All right. Well, then you cut carefully along here to get rid of the biggest bones.” I slide the knife down and around. “After that’s gone, you can pull the filet out and use your fingers to remove any pin bones that remain.” I finish the two filets and set them aside, then grab the bass I’ve been working on. “Same thing here.” I slide the knife up its stomach and reach inside to pull out the guts.
“There’s so much …” She makes a gagging sound. “So much blood.” For the first time, I understand the expression about someone looking “green around the gills.”
I put my knife down and move so I stand between her and the gutted fish. “Babe, go inside.”
