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“There aren’t any weapons in there, little vixen. There is a handgun in my nightstand, though.”
I arch an eyebrow at the phone. I’m starting to think Luke has no regard for his own safety.
“Oh.” I lick my lips, not sure what else to say. “When are you coming back?” I hate when he’s gone for too long.
“Miss me?”
I do, but he’ll never hear me utter those words. “I’m planning your death,” I remind him.
“I’ll be home soon so you can have your way with me.” He laughs. “I love you,” he says before the call ends.
I drop the phone from my ear. I keep wanting to say those words back. I’m telling myself it’s a habit to want to say it back to someone. Then it dawns on me that I wouldn't have such a habit. He was the first person to ever say those words to me. My parents never even said them when I was a little girl. They’d always treated me as though I wasn’t wanted. They had to keep up appearances and make sure they did the basics to look like they were decent parents, but behind closed doors they were monsters. I feel wanted so much more now that I can see what love is, what else is really out in the world.
I pull the door open to reveal that the only thing inside is a folder. I grab it, flipping it open to see our marriage license inside. My eyes sting with tears looking over it. I put it back, closing the vault door. Everything inside me swirls. I hate that he’s gone. My emotions are all over the place after looking at that piece of paper. It’s a reminder of how I got here. I’m not sure if that’s a good or bad thing at the moment.
I stomp from his office, flinging open the door. Clayton jumps back, the door almost hitting him. I have to bite my tongue from saying I’m sorry. He is, after all, one of the men that helped Luke in purchasing me. He had a hand in all this. I have a feeling that I’ll have to kill him too, if I kill Luke. Unless Luke has made the man swear he’d protect me even in his death. I have a feeling that is the case. Clayton and all of Luke’s other men are the most loyal bunch of people I’ve ever seen. They'll do anything for him without question.
“You okay, Mrs. Knight?” Clayton asks.
I nod and head up the stairs. Ms. Kittles is hot on my trail as I go straight for our bedroom. I barely make it through the bedroom doors and my phone is ringing. ‘Husband’ scrolls across the screen. I don’t want to answer it but dammit, I miss him. It doesn’t help that he’s making me feel all this weird crap inside. On one hand, he’s the man that took me and basically forced me into marriage, and on the other, he’s the one that’s allowed me to be myself. He’s opened up the world to me. He’s gone to great lengths to put everything that I could want at my fingertips. It’s more freedom than I’ve ever known, and it’s boundless because Luke has made it that way for me. My inner turmoil should be expected. How could I want to kill and love the same man?
“What?” I snip.
“Are you crying?”
“Never.” I lie as if he hadn’t held me while I shed some of my past in his arms. He’d taken something horrible from deep inside of me and released it. I didn't realize I was still holding on to it, allowing it to eat away at me, but it was. Luke had somehow known that I needed to be free of those demons, and he took steps to make sure that I had a chance to do it. That painting was the key, and I was the lock. And heknew. He just knew.
“Baby.” His voice is so soft and sweet that it takes my breath away for a moment. “I’m coming to you.”
“I’m fine.” I sniff. “Maybe it’s hormones. I could be pregnant.” The idea should scare the crap out of me but it doesn't. I never thought I’d want children. I wouldn't know how to raise a baby. I don’t know the first thing about them, but the idea of having one with Luke sounds tempting. Too tempting. I’m not ready to share him. Wait, I’ll be killing him so there will be no sharing. That will make me a single parent though. I’ll have to think this killing thing over more carefully.
“Liar.”
“Whatever.” I huff as I drop down onto the bed. I know I’m not pregnant. I’ve been getting the shot since I turned eighteen. I guess Luke knows everything. I’m sure that’s something he knows as well.
“You don’t want babies with me?” I accuse. I don’t even know where that came from. I don’t want a baby right now. Again, I am going from never wanting something to now toying with the idea of it. He really does have me in a mess.
“One day, when you’re ready, my vixen.”
“You always say the right thing.” I stare up at the ceiling. I feel better now that I can hear his voice again.
“I’m sorry I didn’t wear you out enough before I left.”
I smile. He tried. He did exhaust me enough for me to take a nap, but I don’t sleep well without him now. He’s ruining me. The longer I let him live, the more attached to him I get. This is becoming a problem. Ms. Kittles is no help. She’s smitten with the man too.
“Vixen, open the nightstand.”
I swallow. I don’t actually like guns. “Luke. We should talk about your safety. You are really too careless.” I sit up “OnlyIget to kill you. You know this, right?” I ask as I peak inside the drawer. There’s a small handgun as Luke said there would be, but the thing that catches my eye are the college brochures that sit next to it. I remain quiet as I pick them up and look them over. I can hear Luke’s breathing through the phone, but I have no words. These are for me. Art programs, real school. There’s nothing I can think to say to describe the way I’m feeling. Luke is paving the way for me to have a future that I’d thought was lost.
“Luke.” My voice cracks. I almost say the words that I know he’s dying to hear. But I don’t, because in this moment, I don’t want him to die. I want him to live and continue making me feel all the things he does. “Come home.”
“Already here,” he breathes into the phone. I can hear his steps coming down the hallway. He’s on a mission to get to me. He always was.
13
LUKE
Itake her in my embrace, holding her as she wraps her arms around my waist and snuggles against my chest. Her tears soak through my shirt, and I stroke her hair as I sit on the bed and pull her to my lap.
