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“Move,” I demanded, rolling my hips. One of his hands left my ass as he collected both my wrists and held them above my head firmly. I was flattened against the wall as he dragged himself out slowly and delved back in with a harsh flick of his hips over and over.
He didn’t seem to care that we were now running late and was dragging it out to make a point to the others. I was in a frenzy, trying to rub myself up against the wall for that friction.
“Please…” I begged, knowing the word would please him. His body shivered from my request.
His hand that had been anchored on my ass slid between me and the wall as he teased his fingers over me and I moaned, laying my head back on him as he supported me.
“Lips,” he ordered. I obliged, and our mouths met. His passionate tongue tangled with mine as he curled his fingers over my clit and pinched, once, twice. He kept his momentum, and I detonated. My body shaking with vivid white-hot waves, he angled differently rubbing up against my g-spot. I detached my lips and stared at his face in close proximity as he came with a blissful expression holding my unrelenting gaze.
Releasing my wrists, he slid out and peeked at his digital watch. “Half an hour late,” he huffed, and sauntered away to clean up.
I wasn’t going to point out that it was probably just fifteen minutes late, but he doubled it to sate his own needs. Mine too, obviously.
I shuffled out to the bathroom grabbing clothes for a quick five minute get ready. We had somewhere to be.
Hollis loved my marks on him. I bet he was admiring them in the mirror right now. He also liked to tie me up and restrain me for both our pleasures, and regularly got the other guys involved too. However it was more Hollis’ thing. It was a fifty-fifty chance on which route he wanted to take every time we had sex, whether it was just us two or as a group. I was totally okay with it.
He’d taught me about restraint methods. I trusted in him fully and he’d helped me get over some of the abuse that I’d been subjected to. I allowed him to use tools that’d previously caused me only harm. Hollis coached me through my anxiety, I was adamant I wouldn’t let my past hold me back from the different things I wanted to try.
Later that day, I stood on the sand at Chris and Valerie’s house that housed its own private beach. The waves lapped over my bare feet gently. I admired the murky blue ocean, the cool summer’s breeze taking the edge off the heat, making me sigh in relief at the reprieve. My preference was still fall and winter.
I guessed our dreams didn’t always match up to our reality. But sometimes, they were better.
This past year had been… challenging.
You’d have thought that with Adam being dead, I would have bounced back and claimed everything he’d taken away from me with a vengeance. I didn’t.
For months, I’d startled myself. I’d flinched without thought when those I trusted approached and touched me. All the years I was under his heel repressing that outlet as I held back, and my reactions had come back to haunt me tenfold.
I was resentful. Full of bitterness that could be tasted on the tip of my tongue for a long ass time. Those closest to me tried suggesting a therapist, but I just laughed in their faces and refused. Music and running had always been my therapy. That would never change. I didn’t want anybody else inside my head unless I’d placed them there, and I knew what they’d diagnose me with: post-traumatic stress disorder, depression, anxiety. And that was for starters.
I didn’t want to be labelled. I had been for so long byhimand I knew from my previous psychology studies and vested interest in it, that was what I’d be slapped with. Then I’d be given medication to make the problem feel less intense, to soften my edges. That wasn’t me. Those sharp edges shaped me into the person I had become, the stain that had been left on me wouldn’t ever be removed.
The entire situation with The Pavilion had gained traction from officials as well as news stations. It’d been plastered everywhere. Every person involved in an official capacity was doing everything by the book and making sure every box got ticked off correctly.
And because of this, I’d been court mandated to attend therapy if I wanted to gain full custody of Kai. Reluctantly, I agreed on the basis that this was for my son, not me. So, I endured.
Chris and Val Penn gained temporary custody of Kai which was handed over to my dad after he’d recovered fully. All the while I was living back at my parents’ house, well, now technically just my dad’s.
Luckily, I got to be around Kai while we jumped through legal loopholes. On one hand it aggravated me, yet on another I understood it. I was glad officials went to so much trouble to ensure he was somewhere safe. No amount of legacy status or money made an inch of difference, and to me, that said a lot. They couldn’t be bought like so many others in our world. I respected that.
I became angry. So fucking angry. Then I’d gotten upset and irritated with myself because I felt that way. I still was, but I’d had help to calm and direct it into healthier ways to cope, somewhat.
Miles had become a good friend, one who didn’t look at me like he wanted to devour me—that was a plus in my book. He’d come to me shortly after I’d asked the men I loved for space. He offered to help drown the turbulent thoughts running through my head, he’d taken me down to Mick’s gym where I’d now taken up self-defence classes for my peace of mind and pounded those punching bags until the sweat poured down my body and I had to peel myself off the floor after a session.
I’d had stamina as I ran regularly, but there was nothing like smashing my hands into that punching bag with images of certain people’s faces cast onto it. It helped simmer that pulsing red haze that had become an intimate friend of mine.
Between us, we’d cultivated a comfortable platonic sibling type of relationship that had a few of the Owls’ heads turned in delight. The Owls, I’d got round to meeting most of them. I wouldn’t know they were a part of a secret society with hidden skills if I walked past them in the street. They were all generally normal-ish except for Drew, and Ronnie.
Apparently it was out of character for Miles, as he wasn’t big on sentiments, but his cute little dead heart had opened a fractional space for me. I was blessed, truly. I’d informed him of this to which he’d given me the most disgusted look ever and promptly reminded me he could just as easily push me out from that spot too. I just snickered. Good times.
I’d gone on a semester break from Coldharbour and eventually dropped out. I lost interest in the whole subject and scenery, wanting to distance myself. Maybe I’d go back to it in the future, but I was ninety-nine percent sure I wouldn’t. I felt life was too short to do something you didn’t want to do, so I’d been helping to do admin tasks and learning the ropes in my dad’s legacy businesses that I’d eventually be taking over in the future. He had years left in him and had thankfully fully recovered, with only bullet scars to show what he’d endured.
Dad had filed for a divorce from my mom after everything went down and was granted it not long after. It came to light that she was bed hopping with the Mayor and his wife Eva, God only knew who else too. They’d both scurried off somewhere with their tails tucked between their legs, still in support of Adrian West.
Twenty years plus of marriage for my parents was gone, just like that. It didn’t shock me to discover that they’d had an arranged marriage. I always had an inkling about it but never aired my thoughts. Dad admitted there were other factors at play that he refused to go into because he respected the fact that she was still my mom. I’d never forgive her for her part in supporting the Mayor after all the revelations came to light, that was when she should’ve stepped away and supported me, her own daughter. She didn’t. It was a low blow, but I didn’t hate her even when I probably should have.
One day reality would catch up to her and she’d realise there was more to life than spending money and prancing around like someone half her age. I knew she’d come crawling back for forgiveness, and for my sister Delaney’s sake more than mine I’d allow it to play out and be amicable.
