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But I have to keep reminding myself that this is just a part of the deal. Yes, having a connection between us will help immensely with our charade. There is nothing else to it. The fact that I feel good around her will only make our performance feel all the more sincere.
Despite all of these reminders, I begin having a hard time getting her out of my mind when we aren’t together. I wonder all day what she is doing and how she is feeling. I count the hours until I get to see her again.
Even a smart man like me cannot keep the truth from himself. There is a genuine happiness that comes about when I see that decadent smile. She thrills me with her thoughts, opinions, and unexpected inquiries. Every time she takes an interest in me to ask a new question, my heart swells until I remember it is only an obligation, part of our deal.
I lay in bed, staring up into the darkness. I wonder what she is doing right now. Is she doing the same thing? Is she thinking of me?
On one of our most recent dates, I said goodbye and felt the impulse to kiss her. She lingered at her door like it was something she was waiting for. But in the end, neither of us could take the step forward. I just stared at her, awkwardly patting her hand.
In the dark night, the regret sits in my gut like a boulder.
17
JOSEPHINE
The stylist combs her long nails through my hair again. The soft scrape against my scalp makes my eyes roll into the back of my head and flutter closed.
I hear a soft, deep chuckle from my faux fiance. One of my closed eyes cracks open to see what he finds so funny. I catch him watching me, the amused grin plastered on his face directed towards my silent-but-noticeable reaction to the touch. I scrunch up my nose at him, and he lifts his hands defensively.
“What kind of style do you want, mon cher?” The thick French accent behind me asks. I shrug lightly. I want to tell her that I don’t usually go to places like these, much less for such an extravagant occasion like a ball.
It feels like a coming-of-age scene in a movie, where they take the girl from plain to all prettied up. I’m not sure how I feel about it, but Aiden has kept kindlyreminding me that his family and friends will all be gawking over me. It’s better if I look like I already fit right into their world to avoid conflict.
It puts a nervous feeling in my stomach. Luckily for me, the bad feeling gets dwarfed by the massive anxiety I have for tonight. His ex-girlfriend is going to be there. From what little I’ve heard about her, she isn’t one to trifle with.
The stylist stops touching my hair. When I look in the mirror, I realize she’s staring at me. Her wrists are firmly planted on her hips, and she is just quietly waiting.Oh, right.
I look at Aiden. He, thankfully, takes the hint and answers for me.
“Just give her an updo. Something elegant that won’t be easily undone by movement.”
After what feels like forever, the stylist turns me around to face the mirror, and I can hardly see myself in the reflection. The face staring back at me is surely someone else.
My hair is slick against my head, and it all collects in an intricately wrapped bun at the top. The bun looks to be made up of several braids, all interweaved to look seamless.
“There you go, wrapped as tight and neat as I can get it.” She presents me to Aiden, and he smiles in a way that looks a lot deeper than just someone enjoying my hair. I try to tell myself I’m exaggerating.
“It’s perfect. You’re going to look gorgeous tonight,” he says, standing to walk over to me. The woman brings up her handheld mirror and shows me all the angles. I nod in approval and Aiden gives me his hand to help me out of the chair. We walk to the front entrance where he pays.
I watch him place a nice tip in their jar, noting the generosity of it, and we head out. In a way, the gesture is almost soothing to me. He isn’t simply being kind to me because he needs something. He seems to be the sort of man who is just kind. I feel one of the many defenses I have up against him melting away at the thought.
* * *
The next thing I know,we’re at the ball. My hands are shaking as we walk up the steps to the venue. Aiden must see my fear, because he gently grabs my hand and my attention all in one go. As I look at him, his kind eyes and gentle nod ease my tension for the moment.
“You look amazing. Everyone is going to love you,” he says, softly enough that only I can hear. I let him lead me inside, his hand firmly holding mine until we get inside.
He lets go, dropping the handhold to snake an arm around my waist. I feel secure as he guides me all the way to our table. I can’t help but hear whispers as we pass, and everyone is staring.
By the time we get to our table, it’s taking all my effort to not drop my head to avoid being seen. I am a naturally shy person. Behaving this boldly feels like a persona that requires intense concentration.
Aiden pulls out my chair and pushes it in once I’m seated. He bends over the back to place a delicate kiss on my cheek, and whispers. “You are the most beautiful woman in here tonight.” I feel my face heat up, just as a woman interjects herself into our moment. Aiden takes his seat as she introduces herself to me.
“Hi! I’m Aleighia. Aiden’s sister.” She says her name with a kind and genuine smile. I recognize her as the woman I first saw Aiden with at the shop. We chat for a bit, but then Aiden looks around before excusing himself. I grab his hand as if he’s my anchor, stopping him.
“I have to go greet my dad. I’ll be back as quick as I can,” he says, those kind eyes convincing me. I nod, and he kisses my hand. Without another word, I watch him walk over to a group of people.
Aleighia tries to distract me with conversation. For the most part, it works. She is friendly and easy to talk to, and it does relieve some of my pressure.
