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“Was that okay?” Josephine whispers to me at the newlywed’s table. Her eyebrows are raised with concern. I touch her leg, careful to leave the gesture both appropriate and reassuring.
“Everything is perfect. You were perfect.”
She looks away, making that bashful face that makes my heart flutter.
I have little time to start analyzing my feelings, because Ada somehow manages to crash the party. I’m guessing she rented a room at the resort, for the sole purpose of being able to wander into our party. I feel irate with her. Not only for the obvious reasons, but because I was honestly having a good time.
My sister tries to convince her to get out, but I have had enough. I walk up to her firmly and take her by the forearm, bringing her out of the reception to stand under the stars.
Our reception hall is part of the resort, a special room enclosed with big glass walls on all sides to offer a great view of the beach. I can see into the party, even while standing outside, through the big windows. But it also means I have to try to control my body language, assuming everyone can see me as well. I settle for bickering with her in a low voice, restraining my anger.
“You have to accept that you aren’t going to get what you want all the time,” I say to her quietly, hoping no one else will hear. “I know that’s a weird concept for you, but you have to let it go. You have to let me go.”
Ada, for once in her life, doesn’t fight back. She snatches her arm away from mine, looks me up and down and begins to walk away toward the beach. I don’t know why, but the look on her face tells me that she just may have finally ingested some form of defeat.
As I turn back after making sure she had actually left, I find my father standing in the corner. He had been smoking a cigar in the shadows.
I look away, hoping he wasn’t aware that I had seen him. That is another problem to deal with later.
The party continues on, and I find myself starting to relax again. Josephine and I dance, laugh and hug. We even kiss each other on the cheek and a few times on the lips. I tell myself it is all for our audience.
If only everything we had said to each other at the ceremony had been true. A part of me can’t help wishing it was.
23
JOSEPHINE
Ifeel a strange sense of happiness as the reception ends, and my new husband and I head to our room at the resort. It is a very nice room, with a kitchenette that even includes a Viking stove. Somehow, I doubt I will get to use it on my ‘honeymoon’ but it’s interesting to see nonetheless.
The room also has a large, extravagant bathroom, and a balcony with a gorgeous view of the ocean. I am standing on the balcony right now, watching the moonlight slice through the water in a long and sparkling strike.
I am still wearing the dress that we agreed upon, the ‘reception dress’. It is far more comfortable than the dress I wore for the ceremony; loose and silky, a bit like a nightie. It made me feel sexy too, even though the night wouldn’t include any true intimacy.
Maybe that is why I feel so forlorn.
That might be part of it, though I knew it wasn’t the only reason. There was also the fact that my father also could not stay for the after party. He was there to walk me down the aisle and hand me over to Aiden. Then, once we said our vows, he headed back to the hospital.
Even in a phony marriage, there was something bitter about having my mother absent and my father barely there. I knew it was just the circumstances we had been dealt, but it still left an ache.
On the positive side, my mother is recovering beautifully from the surgery. She is set to be discharged in a few days. This is, of course, excellent news. I console myself by thinking of my mother’s improving health instead of fixating on her absence.
Besides, the entire thing is a sham. So why does it matter?
I sigh, the cool outside air flowing over my bare skin. I have been thinking about getting married since I was a child. I never pictured it this way.
I hear Aiden return to the bedroom and close the door softly. I am excited to see him, despite everything. We have gotten close over the past few weeks, and I find myself really enjoying his company.
I walk back inside and see him standing in his tux, having already removed the jacket and loosened his tie. His smile never ceases to strike me. Between his eyes, as dazzling as the moon, and the joy clear and present in his expression, I feel overwhelmed by how handsome he is.
“Are you alright?” he asks.
I nod instinctively, not really ready to be completely honest with him. I’m not entirely sure what I’m feeling and unable to explain it to another person. Even Aiden.
“The ceremony, the reception, everything was so beautiful, Aiden,” I say, watching him hang up his jacket and sit on the side of the bed. “I really appreciate the effort you’ve put into all this.”
He nods, his smile lovely and reassuring. I am standing on the opposite side of the bed with my hands clasped together, waiting for the elephant in the room to be acknowledged.
Aiden sighs, taking the reins of the conversation.
