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A few seconds later, as I lean myself on the side of the tub, Aiden knocks gently on the door.
“Are you alright in there, hon?”
My heart begins to flutter again. I scold myself and try not to let out any post-crying shudders in my reply.
“All good, Aiden,” I say. “Just needed a longer shower today, that’s all.”
A pause, then his calming voice returns.
“No problem, Josephine. I wanted to let you know that we’re heading down for breakfast now. Did you want me to wait for you?”
I know that it will look better if we go down together, but I can’t let him see me in this state. He will ask me what is wrong. The man is perceptive, and I will break apart once more if questioned.
“No, it’s okay. I won't be very long.”
There is another pause, and I pray for him to just leave.
“alright. Let me know if you need anything, okay?”
I want to open the door utterly naked, to tell him that I need him. But I am rarely that bold, so I remain still, clutching my stomach like I need to hold my insides together.
“I will, thank you.”
He waits a few more seconds. I wonder if he is considering waiting for me, anyway. I feel a bit disappointed when I hear his footsteps and then the door of the hotel room closes behind him.
“God.”
I lean over and sigh, trying to get my bearings. Eventually, I do get up, wiping my body down. Then I go to the mirror. I wipe away the fog, and see that my eyes are slightly bloodshot and swollen from all the crying.
This isn’t anything some makeup won’t fix, so I begin to apply it before getting dressed. I look over my handiwork, thinking it is sufficient enough. Next, I put on some comforting clothing for the group breakfast.
The only people who can always tell when I’ve been crying are my parents. It seems I give off an energy they can easily detect.
But will Aiden? I hope not.
26
AIDEN
The second morning of our official married life, I wake up on the couch again. The sun beaming through the enormous windows warms my face and brings me out of my somber shut-eye.
As I sit up, a pounding hits my temples. I rub them, trying to find a soft spot and release some tension. Sleeping on the couch is getting tough on my neck.
I continue rubbing my temples and look around the room, recalling why I’m not in a bed. The first night, I had intended to share the bed just like Josephine offered. But by the time I came to bed, she was already sleeping comfortably and taking her half of the bed from the middle. I didn’t have the heart to wake her, trying to make room for myself.
I suppose it set a precedent for the second night. Even though we had already spent most of the day together, enjoying the resort, it just felt too awkward to climb into bed beside her. Especially after I had already spent one night on the couch.
Besides, the couch is comfortable. I figure it’s less intrusive than sleeping in the same bed beside Josephine, anyway. It’s not like she really wants to be married to me. She did it as a favor, and I don’t want to push her too far.
Right, Josephine. Where is she?I wonder as my eyes dance around, looking for her. I don’t see her anywhere. I begin to stand up so I can look for her in the bathroom, but my phone buzzes loudly on the coffee table, stopping me.
I pick it up and notice I have several message notifications. There are a few congratulatory texts, but most of the messages come from my ex, once again letting me know how much she wants me back.
God, can’t you just take a hint? Obviously, I don’t want you back. Can’t you just leave me the hell alone?
Suddenly, the screen lights up with a picture of my sister, and I swipe to answer her call,
“Hey, Aleighia. How’d you sleep?” I ask.
