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But ultimately, the time will come when he doesn’t need me to get back at his dad. And I’ll be alone, wondering why I’m so stupid.
28
AIDEN
The feeling of Josephine’s body pressing against mine with every new pose the photographer asks us for is killing me. The closer she is, the more I can smell her haunting aroma.
God, what perfume is she wearing? Or is that just her natural scent?
Ryan’s making us get closer and all of my insides are shifting. I want to take her right here on this studio floor, and I don’t care who’s in here to watch. He positions my hands on her body, which helps paint the picture of what she’s hiding underneath this red dress.
The way she looks up at me and stares into my eyes makes me crave more of her. I can’t help wondering if she’s longing for me the way I am for her. The way she talks to everyone and jokes with them as we go along with this is absolutely adorable.
How do I hide my feelings when she’s as exhilarating on the inside as the outside? God damn it. Why can’t I stop picturing her body on mine in other ways? Let it go. She’s only here to help make the arrangement look real. Stop.
I start wondering how I will continue the shoot and ponder coming up with excuses to stop it short. But, as Ryan continues positioning us and moving my hands, I start thinking about the possibilities in this arrangement.
If he’s the one putting my hands on her, I’m not doing anything wrong. So, there’s no harm in savoring every bit of feeling I can get from it, right?
“Are you okay?” she asks, suddenly yanking me from my thoughts.
I nod. “Yeah, of course. Why?”
“You just looked lost in thought.”
I laugh and turn my attention back to Ryan.Yeah I’m lost in thought about all the naughty things I want to be doing to you right now.
“Okay, you two. I need to adjust a few lenses, so give me a moment,” Ryan says and steps away from the tripod his camera is sitting on.
Josephine walks away for a moment as I close my eyes and take a few deep breaths. I’m trying to talk myself down. I can feel the sensations building inside me, and I’d rather not embarrass myself by showing everyone a hard-on.
I didn’t think about what allowing myself to feel things and enjoying her body would do to me…. I want so badly to avoid this, the feeling of wanting or needing her. I’ve been trying so hard to just get through today and forget about it.
But the feelings and thoughts keep popping back up, and I don’t know how to stop them. Or if I even want to stop them anymore. I want to give in to the temptation so badly it almost hurts.
“Okay! Are you ready for the last couple of shots?” Ryan asks, standing beside his camera again.
“Yeah, of course,” Josephine agrees, standing beside me again.
Does she seem to be closer to me than normal, even without the direction of Ryan? No. Aiden, stop it. She doesn’t like you. She’s using you, and you’re using her. That’s all this is.
I nod, and Ryan instructs us in one last pose.
“Okay, for this one, I’m going to have you two turn toward each other, looking into each other’s eyes. I really want to capture the love between you. We’re selling your relationship here, so we want to make the chemistry just jump off the page. So give me your sexiest stares!” Ryan laughs.
My heart is pounding as we turn toward each other. It feels like it might explode onto the floor when our eyes meet. I instantly lose myself in her gorgeous eyes, and I can’t look away. They’re pulling me in, almost hypnotic in their intensity.
I want her to close them, just for me. I want to feel her breath on me as I make her moan in ecstasy. I want her to want me just as much as I want her. The way she’s looking in my eyes gives me the chills, like I could almost fool myself into believing I could have all of those things.
Damn, her loving stare makes me realize how good of an actor she is. That’s what she’s doing, just acting. She’s not really looking at you like that, don’t go stroking your own ego.
Suddenly my gaze shifts from her eyes down the slope of her nose until it reaches her perfectly shaped lips. They’re glossy and pink, perfectly kissable.
Did she think of how appealing it would look when she put this on? Is she wearing it for me? She can’t be wearing it to grab my attention, can she?
I watch her lips move as she smiles and imagine her biting the bottom lip for me in a moment of passion. I feel myself leaning in, and there’s nothing I can do to stop it. My mind tries desperately to pull me back, sending out all the alarms that say I am about to cause a huge mess.
But my body will not listen. It does not care, and it fights back against the advice of my mind. It doesn’t want to be reasoned with. It wants her.
