AllFreeNovel
Share Us
All I can think about is trying to fix it for her. She has every right to be angry at me because this looks so bad for both of us. But it seems so much worse for her. The last thing I want is for her to feel the humiliation or regret this will bring.
But how do I fix something like this when it’s already so far out of my hands?
As I drive down the road, thinking about my options and wondering where she might be, my anger starts to surface. I don’t understand why this is happening or how it’s happening.
My rage takes over, and I can’t help punching the steering wheel. Every memory Josephine and I have together is crossing my mind, and it’s only fueling the rage at the thought of losing her and never getting to make new memories.
I slam the steering wheel in frustration again.How the hell did this happen? Who is doing this to me, to us? How did our secret get out?
Everything that has happened over the course of the last few days is running through my mind. I can’t stop replaying every action, trying to figure out who it could be. After a few moments of trying to sort out my thoughts, I suddenly remember my panic from forgetting to lock my desk drawer.
Holy shit. Ada’s doing this. The information she needs for all of this to the surface is in that desk drawer. She found our contract.
My realization fuels my rage to a level of intensity I don’t remember ever reaching before. I don’t know what to do with myself at this point. Nor do I know what to do with my findings. It all sinks in, and I decide to call and confront her.
I know it’s her behind this, but I want to see if she’ll have the courage to admit it. I press her contact in my phone, and it rings through my Bluetooth as I continue down the road to find Josephine.
“Why hello, handsome,” Ada says, immediately picking up the phone after the first ring. “I was hoping to hear from you at some point today.”
“How could you?” I ask angrily. “I knew you were vindictive, but this? Ada, this is low, even for you. You’re not only hurting me with the shit you spread. You’re hurting Josephine, someone who has nothing to do with you. I might even lose her because of you. Is that what you wanted? For me to be miserable? Because even if I can’t get her back after this, I wouldn’t touch you again. Ever.”
“You’re talking to me like I have something to do with this. Why is that?” she asks arrogantly, which fuels my rage even more.
“Because I fucking know you did it!” I scream.
“I hear some worry in that voice, darling. Why are you so worried about what the news says if it’s false? Unless… it isn’t? Anyways, what makes you think it’s me?” she asks slyly.
“I remember forgetting to lock my desk the other day. You went in and found my contracts. You went through personal files. I knew there had to be a bigger reason you convinced my father to give you a job, but I had no idea it was for something like this. How dare you.”
“Well, maybe it shouldn’t be so easy to find private information in your office then?”
I can’t take any more of her banter. I don’t want to sit and play games with her. No matter the context, my conversation with her is exactly what she wants. She’s rambling some bullshit about how she wants me back and how she misses me, and I hang up on her.
My fists slam down on the steering wheel again, and I can’t believe this is all my fault. I should have been more careful. I should have kicked Ada out. Hell, I should have locked the door. The ‘shoulds’ are piling up fast, but it’s too late for that.
I keep going through the events in my mind, trying to figure out how to fix it. Trying to think of anything I can do to erase the harm it’s causing us both. I can’t change what’s happened, but can I at least ease the blow somehow?
It’s all my fault. I got her into my messed up life, and now she’s in the thick of it with me. How could I do this to her? I let her become a part of my life, like that isn’t the worst punishment out there. Why does my life have to hurt everyone around me?
I keep blaming myself all the way to her coffee shop. She works nearly every day, and I’m hoping it’ll be the most accessible place to catch her. She deserves an apology and an explanation. She has to know I have no part in all of this.
I’m going over what I will say to her as I park in the space as close as possible to the door. I notice a huge crowd of people and wonder what they’re doing until a man separates from the crowd with a camera.
Fuck. It’s the media. They’re here waiting for her. She’s really never going to forgive me now…I think and make my way to the doors. I weave through the crowd and pull on the door, only to find it locked.
I start looking through the windows, trying to see if I can spot her inside. I’m ready to give up when I suddenly catch a glimpse of her black hair behind the counter. I move closer and see Josephine sitting on the floor with her head in her hands.
My heart sinks the second I see her. Her shoulders are moving in a way that tells me she’s sobbing into her hands. Sitting on the floor behind the counter is how she’s getting away from the media and the cameras.
My mind is racing as I head back to my car. As soon as I’m inside, I can’t move. Seeing her on the floor crying over something I brought upon her kills me. There’s nothing I can do.
How do I let the girl I love hurt like this? How can I even face her to try and fix things? I know I must correct them for both of us. I want to be with her so badly it hurts and nearly losing her only proves how badly I want this to work out. But is that even possible after all this?
43
JOSEPHINE
As I sit on the floor behind the counter of the coffee shop, I can’t help feeling dizzy as my body gets weaker and weaker. I’ve been crying so hard I can’t even tell if tears are falling anymore.
