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“Kaden, please talk to me. What's the matter?”
I look at the ground, not sure how to answer her. Finally, I offer the only words I can think of.
“I struggle with being around them, but honestly, I'm not sure I'm ready to talk about it,” I say, my voice noticeably breaking.
Amber reaches out and gently lifts my chin, forcing me to meet her beautiful eyes. “I understand, and I'll be here when you're ready to talk about it. In the meantime, I see it's bothering you, so I'll stay out here as long as you need me to,” she says calmly.
Amber’s words warm me inside, making me feel I finally have someone in my corner. I quickly reach out and pull her into a warm embrace.
13
AMBER
I’m standing in the middle of the room, watching Kaden walk outside, trying to decide if I should follow him.
He’s clearly upset, but I’m not sure why. Do I be the person I usually am and walk out to check on him? But if I do, is he going to think it’s out of kindness or just my ‘expected wifely duties.’ Or do I leave him alone for a while and let him have his space?
My thoughts are jostling around, not knowing what to do, when his stepmother suddenly approaches me. “Amber, do you have a moment? I’d love to speak with you if you wouldn’t mind,” she says.
I look back at the door, not wanting to leave him but not wanting to be rude and ignore her. So, I decide we’ll chat first. If he’s still out there when we finish, I’ll go check on him then.
“Sure,” I say and follow her into the living room. We sit on the sofas that are across from each other. It’s awkwardly silent for a moment because I’m nervous about what she’s going to say. I don’t want to interrupt with something unimportant to fill the space.
She stares at me with a small smile, almost looking like the words won’t form. Finally, she breaks the silence, the conversation spilling out from her nervously. “So, Amber. Has Kaden told you much about the situation here?” she asks.
Her question confuses me.What situation is she talking about? Is there something going on here that I don’t know? Is it the reason he’s acting so funny?
I shake my head. “No, I don’t think he has. He’s always pretty quiet about his family, and I never press the questions because I can tell it’s a topic he steers from.”
“Okay. I’m not surprised he hasn’t. I honestly would be more surprised if he had told you. We’re somewhat of an embarrassment to him.”
My brow raises. “An embarrassment? What do you mean by that?”
She sighs. “Kaden’s mother died a few years ago, and his father remarried me. Kaden has a hard time with me because the marriage was fairly soon after her death, and he’s never forgiven us for it. I think he’s always resented me for stealing his mother’s position in Konrad’s life.”
I listen intently, not knowing what to say. I want her to get everything she needs out in the open. Plus, these are all things I don’t hear from Kaden. I want to learn more, as it's making me curious about the things he struggles with but bottles up inside.
She continues. “I’ve tried so hard to be here for him. But, no matter how hard I try, he pushes me away. I’m sure you saw him disregard my hug in the kitchen.”
“I did. I wasn’t sure why, and then he walked out. I tried to stop and ask what the matter was, but he wouldn’t answer me. He’s not much for talking about his feelings…” I laugh, trying to lighten the mood. “But, I’m sorry. I’m sure it isn’t easy trying to love someone, despite them trying so hard to push it away.”
She wipes a tear rolling down her cheek. “It really is. But I love that kid so much, even if he doesn’t realize it or want to accept it. I have always felt so badly for him losing his mother because boys need their moms. I wanted nothing more than to try and help him through it. I knew I could never replace her and wouldn’t want to.”
She sighs, looking despondent. “But I wanted him to look at me as at least a mother figure. Not his mother, of course. But someone he could come to for advice about girls, someone to help him with matters he felt were too emotional for his father to deal with. Konrad’s not much for talking about his feelings, either!” She laughs, but I can hear the sadness behind it.
“I know at this point it’s been years, and he’s older now. He probably doesn’t need any more guidance, especially now that he has you. But I’ll never stop trying,” she admits.
“I’m just so grateful he has you to help him if he won’t let me. He needs a woman’s love, and I can see how he looks at you. He has such love in his eyes every time he glances at you, and it’s something I was so worried he wouldn’t search for after being so hurt from losing his mother.”
She reaches out a hand to grab mine, squeezing it gently. “I wasn’t sure if he’d ever try to find someone or even know how to treat her after all he’s been through. But you truly seem great together, and it makes my heart so happy!” She smiles and squeezes my hand again, more tears falling.
I sit silently for a moment as she lets go and sits back again. I’m trying to wrap my brain around what she’s telling me.
Why don’t I know this? And is she serious? She sees love in his eyes for me? I don’t think you can fake a feeling in someone’s eyes. I can believe a fake smile or holding hands to hold up an image. But a loving glance? He can’t force that, can he?
I can’t help feeling sorry for her. She’s clearly hurting from the lack of effort he gives her. She wants to love him and show affection like a mother shows her son, but he won’t let her in. I know how stubborn and hot-headed Kaden is, so I know he won’t listen to her. He’s always letting his emotions rein over his rationality.
Maybe he needs a hug? Or perhaps I can talk some sense into him?
