AllFreeNovel
Share Us
I cock an eyebrow, inquisitive.
“You think I didn’t believe you?”
Amber looks away, strumming her fingers against the cup.
“It’s not that. I just want you to know. I haven’t ever really missed anyone like that. And seeing you in the lobby just…brought me back to life.”
I sit next to her on the bed with my own mug of herbal tea. It is then when something formidable strikes me, watching her wipe the hair away from her face and blowing on the steaming cup.
I had been drawn to Amber years ago, not only because of her pain but because of her strength. It had been difficult for her to admit when she needed help, but she did, without really knowing who I was in the first place.
That was so long ago. Ever since I saw her in the line of the cafe, something has been budding in me. And like a vine, it has found its way around the core of my being, squeezing tight around me. The more we make love, the more time we spend together, the more she lets go of her distrust toward men. And the more I find myself appreciating every moment she lets me in.
I blow on the steam myself, nodding along with the revelation. I have the urge to tell her that the only place I want to be is with her. That coming back from that trip was a selfish act for me, not her. I wanted to be nurtured by her presence; her beauty in heart, mind and soul.
But I stay quiet instead, not wanting to overstep any boundaries.
“Well, I didn’t want you worrying any more about that photo,” I say, taking her by the hand. “I can understand why you would feel strange about it. So, what’s better than showing up in person with some lilies you’re going to toss on the floor nonchalantly?”
Amber giggles, and I begin to laugh with her. We lose ourselves, beautifully, in a moment of utter perfection.
31
AMBER
Everything has felt so beautiful and natural since Kaden has been back. There is a flow in our day to day work days and a wonderful solace in the evenings and weekends when we bury ourselves in each other from dusk till dawn.
Everything feels easier and lighter since being with Kaden. It isn’t something I would have anticipated as my younger self. It all sounds way too idealistic and romantic, in the sense of lacking any sense of reality.
But as I make my copies for the chairman to sign, I feel a constant internal smile rising on my lips. I think about our lovemaking, our laughter, the excitement behind what the unknown future looks like. It’s truly riveting, even on a gray, chilly Monday.
My stomach feels like it is bustling with fluttering butterflies. I make copies in the copier room, looking forward to getting home and seeing Kaden’s beautiful face walk in the door. I smile to myself, watching the hypnotic light sway back and forth as the machine spews out copy after copy.
It is then that I feel something different move inside my stomach. It isn’t a pleasant flutter of butterflies, but something crawling and creating turmoil.
It rises up in me quickly, and I have to dart to the bathroom. The acid in my throat forces out a wash of vomit, accompanied by a brief feeling of relief. I wait for another rush, still feeling my gut stir and my mind spin with nausea, but nothing comes. I stand up, wipe my mouth and stare into the mirror, confused.
This happens a few more times in the same week. So I decide to make a covert appointment with a family doctor a week later. As a woman, I have an inclination as to what is going on, but I’m not entirely ready to admit it to myself. And definitely not to Kaden.
I know that Kaden has a meeting today around the same time as my appointment. Because of the connection between our workplaces, he is hardly a stranger to my workplace. I can only hope he doesn’t get word of my absence, though it should be easy for me to go undetected for a mere hour or two. I don’t enjoy keeping the secret of my sudden sickness from him, but he will know one way or another soon enough.
I slip out for lunch and head to the clinic down the street. My nausea seems to often be triggered by certain smells, usually spicy food. Sometimes, however, it comes up apropos of nothing at all. I go in on time, first to the waiting room, then into the small doctor’s office.
I had already completed a blood test yesterday, and today I do a urine test for the nurse before the doctor comes in. I sit waiting, my foot bouncing up and down impatiently.
“Good afternoon, Amber,” Doctor Henderson says.
“Good afternoon,” I reply, wanting to get down to it.
He comes to me and places a hand on my shoulder. My heart drops, knowing what he is going to say before he says it.
“Judging by the way you went about getting tests, I’m sure this result isn’t what you are expecting. But Amber, I want to inform you that you are, indeed, pregnant.”
He is smiling down at me, not exactly excited or cold, but something in between. He rubs my shoulder as I disassociate for a moment, my mind going into overdrive.
“Amber? Are you okay?”
His voice is distant, but I use it as an anchor to come back into the moment. The stark white walls look as bright as Kaden’s teeth.
