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“Good afternoon you two,” she says, pulling up a chair next to us. “How have you been feeling lately, mom?”
The doctor places her hands on my tummy and begins to rub around gently as she waits for my answer.
“Well, the morning sickness is gone, which I’m thankful for,” I say, gazing at Kaden.
“Good, good. That is usually the part moms are happy to be done with,” she says with a swift jerk to grab a bottle of lubricant. “No extra pain or bleeding in the past few weeks?”
I shake my head back and forth. I had read about women, especially first time mothers, losing the fetus in the first few weeks of pregnancy. I tried not to overthink that possibility, but my heart ached for the women I would never know.
“No, nothing like that is going on.”
“Good, good.”
Dr. Felix squirts some gel onto my exposed belly, then gets the computer with the ultrasound ready to go. I start to feel myself getting anxious, even though I’m not entirely sure why. But Kaden feels it and gives me a reassuring squeeze.
“Okay, let’s get you started here, mom and dad,” Dr. Felix remarks.
She places the device on my lower belly and begins to move it around. I stay facing away from the screen, not wanting to add tension to the reading. Kaden isn’t looking, either. He is merely looking down at my hand, eyes wide with excitement.
Dr. Felix then suddenly bursts out laughing.
“My, my. Well, you wanted to know the gender of the baby, right?”
Kaden and I nod at the same time.
Dr. Felix moves the device around, grinning ear to ear. When she speaks, I feel my heart skip several beats.
“It’s both,” she says.
“Sorry?” Kaden perks up.
She turns to him, then me, grinning happily.
“Congratulations, Mr. and Mrs. Williams. You are going to have a boy. And a girl.”
Kaden and I connect eyes like magnets, and our exhilaration is contagious. I start to laugh, as does he, and Dr. Felix moves the device out of the way so we can embrace.
I have never felt such bliss in my entire life.
“Twins?” Kaden exclaims. “We are going to have twins!”
We hug and cry tears of elation. Dr. Felix prints out the ultrasound photo for us to put on the fridge, and she continues to congratulate us fondly. We are barely able to get out of the clinic without starting to cry and hug and laugh some more.
When we get back home, we arrive upon a party that has somehow already been created for us. Kaden's parents, along with his step siblings, got word about the twins and decided to create an impromptu get together.
Everything is going swimmingly as we all hang out the house, talking about the future with great love and ambition. I drink tea – herbal, of course – and have some Perrier while the rest of the family toasts with champagne to the new boy and girl of the family.
Kaden’s relationship with his family has been growing by leaps and bounds ever since we got married for the second time. They have even grown so close that Kaden is ready to request I come with him to visit his mother’s grave, which is something he has not done for years.
We go the next morning. It is a cloudy day, with slices of sun popping out every now and then. The feeling is solemn, yet healing, as we stand with flowers in front of his mother’s gravestone.
I give him the silent reverie that he needs in order to begin healing. I hold his hand the entire time as he touches the stone, ruminating thoughtfully, going somewhere in his mind he hadn’t been able to think of going before.
“I don’t think I could have done any of this without you,” he says as we walk back to the car. “I don’t think I would have even wanted to forgive him, if you and I hadn’t made this work.”
I touch the back of his head once we are in the car, settling in. I kiss his cheek, watching as those icy bright blues begin to spill over with sadness.
“It’s a gift to the both of you, your father and you, when you forgive. I don’t doubt that he loved your mother very much. I think you know that now.”
