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Now it was my turn to stay silent, not knowing what to say or how to say it. He’d just chosen us over his own father. I couldn’t imagine what he was feeling. My heart was breaking for him. All I wanted to do was comfort him, fully aware nothing could take away the pain he was feeling.
I knew it well.
Except, he didn’t choose me like Jax just did. To my surprise, he broke the silence between us, expressing, “When we ran into each other again seven years ago, I thought this was it. This was our moment to truly be together. For the first time in my life, I believed what you had been telling me for years about destiny and soul mates.”
I swallowed hard, listening to every word he was sharing.
“I never wanted to fall in love. I saw what it did to my mother, and I refused to be that weak. I had one love, and that was football. I didn’t have to be anything for anyone. I did what came naturally to me, and I knew it was the only way I’d ever get out from under my father’s thumb. I wanted to prove to him that I didn’t need him like my mother did. That I could stand on my own without his money, his influence, and all of the important people he knows. It’s why I lived and breathed that field. Day and night, it was all that mattered to me until you came along.”
Slowly, I walked over to him. Sitting in one of the seats in front of his desk, I waited to hear the rest.
“I think my soul found yours from the second I saw you step out of that car. It was like it knew you were the one for me, and I spent years trying to pretend I didn’t love you. When in fact, I was head over heels for you.”
Suddenly, a tear escaped my eye.
“I fought against the love I had for you, and in the end, I lost you because of it.”
“Is that why you cheated on me?”
“Sophie, the only thing I can tell you right now is that I never cheated on you.”
“Jax, I was there. I saw—”
“I know what you think you saw.”
“I don’t understand.”
“I know, but you will. I promise. Can you give me that?”
I didn’t hesitate in replying, “Yes.”
I wanted to believe with everything inside of me that what he’d said was true. Holding onto that hope only made me realize how much time we’d truly lost with each other.
Finding my voice, I apologized, “I’m so sorry I kept Ben from you. I know it doesn’t change anything. I know you can’t get back the years you lost. I know it all, but now I need to tell you the truth of why I kept him from you.” Taking a deep breath, I found the courage to confess, “My dad, the man who raised me, your coach…” Tears fell from my eyes, one right after the other.
There was no stopping them. This was the first time I was sharing this with anyone.
Nothing could have prepared me for this moment and the emotions it would evoke.
“He’s not my real father.”
Jax winced, not trying to hide it.
“Until I got pregnant with Ben, I thought the man who’d raised me was my father. When I told my mom I was pregnant with your baby, I told her I was going to tell you. I swear to you, I never had any intention of keeping him from you. It didn’t even cross my mind, but she got in my head. Telling me that my real father didn’t want me. He wanted her to have an abortion.” I paused, letting my words sink in.
“You see, my mom had an affair with this man. For years my dad wanted kids, and it didn’t happen for them. They found out later he was sterile and couldn’t have kids. He became withdrawn from her, so she found comfort in the arms of another man. She says she fell in love with him. She was going to leave my dad, but when she told him she was pregnant with me, he didn’t give a shit. He told her she was nothing more than sex, and she needed to have an abortion.” Taking another deep breath, I continued.
“She refused, even when he said he wouldn’t help her. He broke her heart, but my dad wanted a baby so bad, he decided he’d raise me as his own. They tried to make it work, but in the end, they got a divorce. My mom was messed up, she couldn’t forgive herself for cheating on him, and seeing me reminded her of all her bad choices. It’s why she left me with him and moved here to work for your mom. I think she was punishing herself by being away from me.”
“Jesus, Sophie.”
“I found all of this out after I told her I was pregnant with your baby. She confessed and told me you were going to do the same. I still didn’t listen to her. Instead, I flew out to tell you, but when I showed up to your house, I saw her with you.”
He grimaced, knowing who I was referring to.
“It was all I needed to see to think that my mother was right about you. Then throw in the shock and hurt by my real father’s actions. I didn’t want our kid to go through not being wanted. Then thinking about all the women who’d claimed you’d knocked them up. I didn’t want to be another problem you just paid off.”
“You honestly thought I could do that to you?”
