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Nothing went further than dry fucking. Anytime we got close, my reaction was to push her further away the next time I saw her. She hated me for it but loved me way more. I was toxic for her—she was poison for me. With the way I was feeling that night, I needed her in a way I’d never needed anyone in all my life.
Her warmth.
Her comfort.
Her love.
Home.
Despite the dim lighting in my room, I could still see her bright green eyes grasping the compromising position we were currently in.
“How did I get in here?”
“I carried you.”
“Oh.” Her eyebrows pinched together. My demons might have been silenced by her presence, but Autumn’s was lying right on top of her. “Why?”
“Because I wanted you in my bed.”
She searched for something in my gaze, narrowing her eyes. “I must have fallen asleep.”
“Why were you waiting for Christian?”
“I wasn’t. I was waiting for you.”
“For me?”
“Yeah.”
“Why?”
“I don’t know. I was heading home from a study group, and out of nowhere it felt like you needed me. By the expression on your face, Julian, I was right. Are you okay?”
“I am now.”
“What’s wrong?”
“I don’t want to talk about it.”
“You never want to talk about anything.” She placed her hand over my heart. “Please don’t push me away. Just let me in.”
“Kid, I’ve let you in so much I don’t know how to kick you out.”
“I’m not a little girl anymore.”
“I can see that.”
“I’m eighteen now.”
“I know how old you are, Autumn.”
Almost immediately my mind battled my heart, raging a war I never had a chance to survive. It was her innocence and vulnerability that were eating me alive, swallowing me whole. There was no denying our connection, and for the first time in our relationship, I sought refuge within her.
“Will you tell me later?”
“There’s nothing to tell.”
“Julian…”
