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I don’t respond. Iwantto say that he can slow down and be considerate of me. It’s the least he could do. Unfortunately, I know he won’t listen, and he probably won’t respond, either.
Someone told me long ago to be careful about who I choose to let into my life. I thought I was being cautious and wise about that advice with him. Unfortunately, now I’m starting to second-guess my instincts about reading people. I always thought it was a talent of mine, but now I realize I better stick to herbs.
Hurian climbs a tree, and I don’t ask what he’s doing. Just because I developed feelings for him and gave him every part of me doesn’t mean I’ll sacrifice my dignity and fawn over him. I also won’t beg for his attention or waste any more energy trying to talk to him. I’m powerless over the situation, a feeling I hate more than anything.
He looks out of the tree and laughs.What could be so funny?I think as I roll my eyes. For the first time today, he looks at me with a happy expression and points in the direction he was looking in.
“I can see the waterfall! We’re almost there!”
I bite my tongue and shake my head. I don’t even care about how close we are to home; the anger overtakes me. All I want to do is avoid this situation. I feel myself about to explode.
“Dana! Did you hear me?”
“So ready to get rid of me, huh?” I shout to him. He looks at me with confusion and hurt. “That’s great; I’m so glad that leaving me behind makes you so joyful.”
I can’t help myself. I begin to walk away from him. He can go back to the compound. Now that I’m close enough to the waterfall, I’ll find my own way back.
“Hey, where are you going?” he yells. “It’s dangerous out there!”
I freeze; he’s right. If I come across another wolf or a wild boar, I have no weapons to defend myself. I turn around and bite my lip, debating whether I should go back toward him or continue on my own.
I weigh the pros and cons. If I go on my own, I’m physically putting myself in harm's way. If I stay with him, I’m putting myself in an emotionally hurtful situation. I decide to compromise between the two options.
“I won’t go far,” I say reluctantly, the humility overtaking me. I really wish I could just leave. “I can’t be around you right now. I’ll be back in a bit.” I lift my chin in the direction he was pointing. “You can go ahead, though, if you can’t stand being around me for another minute.”
I know my words shoot him like venom from a snake’s fangs. His face goes pale, and he looks around, sad and confused. Good, maybe now he’ll start to understand how terrible he’s been to me all day.
I walk away, feeling slight satisfaction from the expression on his face. I’m rarely a mean person, but no one has done me wrong like this in years, aside from my old clan. This neglect from him after the night we had almost hurts as severely as the torture I endured.
Looking at the woods, I don’t feel its magic anymore. The trees seem dull, and plants I would typically be excited to collect have lost their sparkle. The woods just look like a quiet, empty void, a place I will never return to unless necessary when all this is over.
The trees look like they’re going to betray me somehow. They sway in the wind menacingly, something I used to find calming. The sound of the river behind me makes me anxious. The water could flow in any direction at any minute; it’s unpredictable and cold, like Hurian.
I hear a rustling beside me and turn to investigate, my thoughts broken by fear. I see nothing beside me and continue walking, telling myself it’s my neurosis acting up again. I’m fine and safe; it’s daytime. I’m more unlikely to be hurt now than at any other time of the day.
As I’m comforting myself, I hear more rustling. I whip around, ready to face whatever it is. I quickly realize I wasn’t prepared for it to be standing behind me. I scream, terror racing through my veins as I realize what has found me.
21
HURIAN
Iwatch her walk away, and my heart sinks into my gut. Is it worth it to break her heart to save her life? Of course, I think it is, but seeing how angry she’s getting makes me wonder if I’m going about this wrong.
I’ll give her the space she’s asking for, but only for a few minutes. Just because I don’t want to get close to her like we did last night doesn’t mean I don’t care about her safety. Her safety is the only reason I’m acting this way.
I wait for a second in the tree as I look at the waterfall. The beautiful piece of nature only reminds me that we’re closer to home and that soon, I’ll be far away from Dana. The memories of the nights and days we’ve experienced here run through my mind like a sad montage of what will never be again.
I think of the first night in the abandoned house, how she looked at the family picture and wondered where they were. She didn’t even know them and cared about their wellbeing. Her getting excited about finding the calendula brings a slight grin to my face.
Then, the image of her smiling face shining in. the moonlight when we made love comes to me. I remember how connected I felt to her at that moment, bonding my spirit with hers as our bodies intertwined. I’ve never experienced something like that before, even with Flora.
The intensity of it still warps my mind with confusion. I never thought linking myself with another being on every level would bring me such euphoria. She’s awakened emotions and desires inside me that I don’t think I’ve ever felt.
I close my eyes and shake my head. I wish she knew the pain I felt, knowing I have to part from her, but I can’t let her know. I need to get her back to the compound safely; that’s the only mission I have right now. I can deal with my grief later.
I look in the direction she walked in and begin to worry. She’s been gone only a few minutes, but I still don’t like having her out of my sight. I sigh and look at the waterfall again, telling myself she’s okay; I’m just being paranoid.
As I try to relax, a scream jars me from my thoughts. I swing down from the tree, landing hard on my feet before darting toward the noise. I know it was Dana’s scream, and I feel like an idiot for letting her walk away.
