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Studying my reflection in the mirror, I run my hands through my hair and turn on the sink. I look worse than I thought. Bags rest under my eyes and my cheeks are sunken in. Exhaustion is evident on my face and no amount of splashing water on it will help. Blowing out a long breath, I open the door and as I’m turning off the light, more low moans fill the space between me and the door across the way.
At least someone’s having a good time. Maybe I don’t need to play with anyone tonight but can have some other kind of fun instead of going home alone. Pulling my phone from my back pocket, I’m about to click on one of the hookup apps I’ve chatted to people on before and then sweet tweets have me tensing in place.
“You know you sound cute when you do that but it’s not what I want to hear right now, baby.”
Moans mix with small chirping and I’m lost in a trance. It’s a beautiful melody I want to hold on to for the rest of the night.
“What did I say? I don’t want you to be a bird anymore. Be what I need.”
My stomach churns. What a selfish prick. What about what he needs? Being a bird is clearly a part of who he is and this guy is over here trying to put limitations on it. Fuck him. I try to walk away but my feet grip the floor when my gaze lands on my pretty bird tilting his head back and his mouth parting open as pleasure shakes his body.
I shouldn’t be watching but I can’t tear away from the breathtaking view. Ignoring the other man, I only focus on the way my bird writhes forward, pretending it’s air he’s fucking and not some prick’s hand. His breath releases in shudders and he grips the desk behind him, thrusting his hips. My phone vibrates in my hand, I rush down the hall, distancing myself from the open bedroom door as fast as I can. Did they see me there? Why was the door open in the first place? Were they hoping someone was watching?
Am I actually hard? On occasion, I enjoy porn. It’s more the action I find hot and not the people involved. Surely it’s the same case here. Adjusting myself in my jeans, not caring who sees, I march toward the kitchen and hook my hand around Zane’s arm. “We need to go. Now.”
“What happened?” He arches a brow, dropping a half-eaten carrot into the trash bin.
“I’m—I uh…fell asleep in the bathroom,” I lie.
Zane holds me in place with his stare, his blue eyes flickering at a rapid pace, and I can tell he isn’t buying what I’m selling.
“Can we just get out of here?”
“Okay, but once we get to the car you’re going to tell me what the hell happened.”
Zane hugs a few friends goodbye on our way out the door and as I’m crossing the street, a white feather falls at my feet. Bending down, I ignore Zane calling to me and pick it up. I twirl it in my hand as I hurry toward the passenger side. Shoving my little souvenir in my pocket, I open the door and slip inside the car.
“So you gonna tell me what the hell’s going on with you?”
“I saw someone I knew is all.” I tug the seat belt over my body.
“Yeah? Was it Kyle?” He glances in the rearview mirror before pulling onto the road.
“Yeah.” Why the fuck can’t I stop lying to my best friend? “I think so. Not something I’m in the mood to deal with tonight.” It keeps coming and there are no brakes anywhere in sight for me to pump. I’m not ready to tell him about my new obsession. Mostly because it’s ridiculous. My bird obviously has a boyfriend and I’ll more than likely never see him again.
Not like any of those revelations will help free me from the memories of him. Shoving my hand in my pocket, I finger the feather and smile the whole way back to my house. Neither of us speak again until I’m exiting the car.
“I’ll see you in class on Monday,” Zane shouts before I can close the door.
“Yeah. See you then. Sorry I was a downer tonight.”
“Lucky for you I’m used to it,” he says, wearing a playful grin while yanking the bunny ears off his head.
“Haha, very funny. Bye, asshole.” I slam the door shut, cutting off his high-pitched laughter and he drives away, leaving me alone in my front yard.
The cool night air sweeps under my jacket as I walk up the porch steps. I hide in the dark corner when a car pulls up in the driveway next door, where my step uncle Theo lives. A door slams shut and I peek over the siding when the car drives off so fast the tires screech against the pavement.
Long white wings wave in the air as the man—Theo?—rushes toward the front door, and when he glances around him, he lifts off his white mask. My heart shoots into my throat and I can’t breathe. Worried he’ll spot me, I duck all the way back under the roof, my pulse pounding in my ears. I ball my fists to my sides and close my eyes. Did I fall asleep on the way here and am still caught in a dream?
Parting my lids, I take a deep breath and look around the house again. Theo is nowhere in sight but white feathers litter the driveway.
Swallowing hard, my hand shakes as I reach for my keys. Unable to calm myself, I struggle to open the door on the first try. This can’t be happening. How did I never know Theo is in the scene? He’s been hiding this secret all these years and I wish I’d never discovered it. Why did it have to be him?
The house is quiet as I enter the foyer. I lock the door behind me and force my heavy feet up the steps to my room. I only live here because my mom wants me to stay until I finish college. She thinks working full time will interfere with my studies, and I only have a few more semesters left until I graduate, so I don’t bother arguing with her about it anymore. I’m ready to be on my own and after tonight, I wish I lived anywhere else but here.
As soon as I’m in my room, I strip out of my clothes and bury myself under my blankets. I don’t want to come out until I’m able to free my mind of everything I felt at the party. Every time I try to focus on something else, Theo flapping his wings and his delicious moans take over and I’d rather not go to sleep any other way.
How is it possible to find exactly what I’ve been searching for this whole time and have it be wrong for me to want it?
