Page 146 of His Last Nerve


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Shaking off those thoughts, I made my way across the porch to Nancy and got down on my haunches in front of her. There was a conversation that needed to happen here, too. As I adjusted my hat and looked out to Hallow Ranch, I spoke, “Lost my momma when I was just a boy.”

“Oh, my goodness,” she breathed. I looked back up to the mother of the woman I loved.

“I need you to know I’m going to take care of her,” I promised, my voice rougher than I intended it to be. I needed her to know that after she was gone and in heaven, because there was no doubt in my mind that a sweet soul like her wouldn’t be anywhere else, I would be there for Valerie.

Her eyes warmed and filled with tears. “Sweetheart, I knew that from the moment I saw you on my phone screen.”

“But I can’t protect her from the pain, Nancy.”

It hurt like hell to say that. I wanted to protect Valerie from everything. We held each other’s eyes, the shadow of death looming over us. For a moment, I saw fear in her eyes, but she blinked it away quickly, replacing it with a sad smile.

“Pain is just a part of life. Without pain, how does one grow?”

I smirked at her. “Didn’t know I was talking to fucking Hallmark card.”

“I didn’t know I was talking to such a fucking potty mouth,” she scolded playfully.

I blinked, then found myself chuckling. “Jesus, you and Val are just alike. I wanted to let you know Doc is going to be stopping by this afternoon, is that alright?”

“Doc?” she questioned, surprised.

I nodded. “I’m in love with your daughter, Nancy. That makes you family.” I paused for a moment, looking at the ranch. When I looked back to her, I said, “I take care of my family.”

She didn’t say anything for a long time, and she didn’t have to. When she did, the pain in my chest almost became unbearable.

“I’m just sorry I’m not going to be a part of it for long.”

“Caleb,I’mnotmadat you,” I said to my boy gently as we looked out to the herd. The sun was high, the sky blue, and white clouds drifted over us. Both of us were mounted on Ranger as I guided him to the outer field, close to the fence.

“I didn’t want her to get into trouble,” he said, keeping his head straight.

A deep sigh left me, and I put my hand on his shoulder. “The most important person in my life is you, son, do you understand? Your mother put you in a dangerous situation.”

“How was that dangerous, Dad? She’s just messy.”

My jaw tightened, frustrated with his innocence, but grateful for it at the same time. It wasn’t his fault. Most children raised in toxic homes don’t know any better. “Did your mother tell you she would get in trouble if you told me about everything?” I asked, keeping my voice even.

“She said she has to drink that adult stuff to deal with her adult problems and that you didn’t like it.”

Fucking Christ.

“Bud, do you like staying at your mom’s?”

“No,” he answered, sadness in his voice. “I love it here, Dad. I love the ranch.”

Me too, kid.

“This is your home,” I reminded him. “Do you feel safe here?”

He nodded, the back rim of his cowboy hat brushing against my abdomen. I swallowed the lump in my throat. “Did you feel safe at your mom’s?”

His little shoulders dropped a bit. “Only when I was in my room.”

Rage coursed through me, and I squeezed my eyes shut. “I’m so sorry, bud,” I whispered, my voice thick.

Caleb twisted his torso then, turning to face me. His hat tilted up and his matching gray eyes met mine as his brows came together. “Why are you sorry? It’s not your fault Mom has issues.”

I tugged on the reigns gently, urging Ranger to come to a stop. “I’m your father. It’s my job to protect you.”

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