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My belly clenches at the feeling of his rough fingertips on that sensitive little nub, becoming a tight rubber band. Just when I’m on the verge of begging him to move faster, he pulls out his fingers. When he replaces them with the tip of his cock, sheathed in a condom and wet with lube, I choke out a moan, pressing against him wantonly. I don’t care how it looks, and I don’t care how needy it makes me. I just need him.

“Fucking perfect,” he says. “You’re being so good for me. God, Mia, I can’t handle how beautiful you are.”

He presses his chest against my back, his arm coming around to hold me in place. He kisses my shoulder blade as he presses in one inch, then two, then three. By the time he’s in all the way, I’m shaking, whimpers slipping from my mouth in a near-constant stream. He’s fucking thick, splitting me open in this extra-intimate way. He keeps working my clit as he lets me adjust to the feeling, continuing to whisper in my ear about how beautiful he thinks I am.

Tears prick my eyes. Maybe it’s the sensations, or his words, which sound so soft and genuine. Maybe it’s the vulnerability of the moment, but whatever it is, I take in a deep breath that ends in a sob.

“Talk to me,” he says. “You good?”

“Yeah,” I whisper. “Really good. Keep going.”

“Such a good girl,” he says, just as quiet. “You take my cock so well no matter where I put it.”

He rolls us onto our sides, pressing my leg up to my chest to deepen the angle, and gives an experimental thrust. I cry out, overwhelmed by the new position, the slow drag of him inside me. “Sebastian—”

He reaches for the vibrator and turns it on, pressing it against one of my stiff nipples. “So fucking perfect, angel. You’re everything. Fucking everything.”

“God.” I pant, twisting in his arms as the vibrator tortures my sensitive skin. It sends a spark of sensation right to my core, making me clench around him even more tightly, if his groan is any indication. He drags the vibrator over my other breast, then down my front. He gets it wet with my slick, thrusting his hips shallowly all the while, and pushes it into my cunt in one go.

I let out a sob that’s half a scream. He keeps the vibrator inside me as he thrusts; the sensations combine to overwhelm me until I come, unbidden, my body shuddering through it. Another orgasm starts to build almost immediately, dragging me back to the peak. At my urging, he keeps going, working up a deep, urgent rhythm. I feel him tense, then relax, as he comes, his name on my lips, and that sends me over the edge again, chanting his name.

I reach back as he pulls out the vibrator. He holds my hand tightly, entwining our fingers. “Holy shit.”

I laugh, my breath catching on another sob. “Yeah.”

He pulls out. I flop onto my back, wiping at my eyes.

“You’re crying.” He wipes away a tear with his thumb. “Are you okay? Was I too rough?”

I shake my head, not trusting myself to speak. The air smells like sex, and he’s just sweaty enough that I want to lick him, and something in my chest feels better now. It’s like I had a crack in my heart, and I didn’t realize he was fixing it until it already happened.

“Mia.”

“It was perfect.” I look at him, biting down on my wobbling lip. “So much, and so perfect.”

He pulls me into his arms, hugging me tightly enough I can feel his heartbeat. For several long, warm, comfortable minutes, neither of us say a word. My body might be sated, but my mind keeps going, my imagination spinning in an ever-expanding orbit. It runs over my research, my readings, the questions I’ve been mulling over, some for a day, others for months.

“Sebastian.”

“Mm?”

“I want to be alive long enough to see high-definition images of exoplanets.” I meet his steady gaze. “I want to investigate the universe and see the details, not just the big picture. The individual planets, hiding in the light of their suns. I want to see the skies that spit diamonds. The seas of mist and long-abandoned mountains. The craters the size of our moon, the amethyst forests, the red oceans. Some people think it’s impossible, but I don’t believe that. There has to be a way to engineer it.”

“That would be incredible.” His eyes search mine. “Is this what you want to do in the future?”

“I want—”

I cut myself off as an idea crash-lands into my mind. A fragment of thought, but still, large enough to hold onto, teased out by Alice’s feedback. The last snag in our program, turned on its side and made irrelevant.

“Wait,” I say, scrambling off the bed. “I have an idea.”

45

MIA

“Stop fidgeting with it,”Izzy says, slapping my hand away from the front-tie of the jersey. “It’s great.”

“I feel weird,” I grumble.

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