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“I’m the prince of the dethroned royal family. Him calling me lord was him being nice because he knew that if he called me ‘Your Highness’ and anyone overheard, then he’d be in an insane amount of trouble.”
“Prince?” I breathed the word, unsure if I was hearing him right.
He nodded and finally stopped in front of me, squatting down, so we were eye to eye. “Agartha was a matriarchy until Timmon. When he took over, my mother and father were executed, along with my mother’s lovers, and since I was just a child, I was given a choice to leave and go to one of the other realms or die with them. I knew what my mother would have wanted me to do, so I left and became an outcast. To my people, being an outcast means being stripped of your rights as an Agarthan citizen, that everyone here will constantly shun me, that I’m considered a traitor to my people and the land by default, never mind what anyone says at a stupid dinner. But Tessa, if you choose me, if you marry me, then you will be shunned, too, simply because you’re my wife. I don’t want that for you, but if I’m honest, the idea of you marrying someone else, especially someone who might be loyal to Timmon, makes me want to burn this whole realm to the ground.”
“So your mom was the queen before all this? She was the leader of the realm?”
“She was. She was the last in a long line of women that had run Agartha into the ground. People were tired, the wealth disparity was enormous, and there’s still evidence of it today. The rich live up in the trees, closer to the canopy and the natural sunlight, while the poor live in the dirt, literally. Us being in this building is a snub. Only none of you knew it. If we were actually honored guests, then we’d be in one of the treehouses and have the sun on our faces instead of a little light coming in through rocks. Unrest grew until it hit a tipping point, and Timmon took advantage. He’s able to shift into a tiger, which is rare and considered lucky among my people. It gave him the edge over my parents, who were both able to change into bears. He promised the people of Agartha stability and prosperity. It’s no surprise that he’s struggling with that if the forests are shrinking and there are fewer breathable areas.”
That was a lot. I knew the Agarthan people were shifters, but no one had ever explicitly talked about it before. Timmon became a tiger, and Kai became what, a bear? That didn’t seem right for some reason.
When I didn’t reply because I was still processing the enormity of what he’d just said, he took my silence as permission to continue.
“What I wanted to talk to you about was the shunning. We would claim each other in front of everyone, but then you would be an outcast, just like me. I don’t know how that would impact you finding the stone or anything like that, but I need you to know that being married to me will mean that you won’t be welcome in Agartha.”
“I’m not welcome here anyway. That’s been made painfully clear.”
“Honestly, it’s probably because you showed up with me.”
I shrugged. “I’d rather be with you than a stranger. I—” I bit my lip, unsure if I should say the next part. I figured if we were being honest, then I might as well. No time like the present and all that. That being said, I could bring myself to look at him as I said, “I’ve always wanted you, Kai. I’ve always cared for you. You know that, hell, I tried to tell you in Hyperborea.”
He was quiet, almost frozen, and when I finally looked up at him, it was like he was shocked by my confession.
“You had to realize that, right?” I chuckled. “Why else would I put up with your brooding act?”
He just watched me for a while as though I was a mystery. “You don’t look at me the same way you look at Finn or Griff,” he said after a while.
“Of course not. You and I aren’t as close as I am to Finn or Griff. You’ve pushed me away every chance you’ve had, and I’ve hated it, but I also wasn’t going to chase after you if you didn’t want me. Besides, I already have two mates and Dres. I didn’t want to be greedy.” I shrugged, trying to still the flutters in my chest.
“I pushed you away because I wanted you too badly. I know what I am to my people and how that would reflect on you. If they knew that I’d kissed you, that I’d touched you in a sexual manner, then they’d have me whipped. Outcasts aren’t permitted to have relations with someone who would be a Lady of the realm, which you definitely would be. When I told you that you would be a queen in my realm, I wasn’t lying. You could be if you wanted to, I’m sure of that, but not with me by your side. I’ll just drag you down when you deserve to soar, and yet, I can’t stomach the thought of someone I don’t know or trust touching you, of you moaning their name instead of mine. It’s selfish and the opposite of what I should be doing, but I want you, Tessa, and I want you to choose me.”
My mouth was hanging open when he was done, and I was so confused it wasn’t even funny. “You’ve never told me I could be a queen in your realm, and while we shared a brief kiss in Hyperborea, I’d hardly say you touched me in a sexual manner. And besides that, if you had and someone tried to hurt you for it, they’d have to go through me first. I’ve chosen you over and over again, Kai and I choose you in this as well, even if it does make me an outcast. I don’t care. I want you.” I reached for him but dropped my hand before it could connect, knowing that he wouldn’t like it if I did touch him.
“What? I was talking about that night in the kitchen back in your realm, not what happened in Hyperborea.”
My brows drew down. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“I’d come back from a run, and you were getting some water. We kissed, and it was…intense. You said you wanted me then, but I pulled back, not wanting to put you in a position you regretted later.” I felt like the world was tilting sideways. I had no memory of what he was describing. He must have been able to see that on my face because he continued carefully, “While we were…exploring each other, I told you that you were a queen and then I got scared that you didn’t even know it was me you were with so I told you I wouldn’t fuck you over the kitchen counter like it meant nothing. You were offended, and I told you it was a mistake before leaving. Nothing?”
I shook my head. “I don’t remember anything like that.”
He looked so crestfallen that it broke my heart. A sad chuckle escaped him. “Funny how it’s seared into my mind, but you’ve forgotten it completely.”
“Kai, I’d remember something like that. It’s not even vaguely familiar.” Something snapped in my mind, and I said, “There was something else I didn’t remember earlier. Being saved from the dungeons in Hyperborea. I remember being in them and being out of them with the queen, but not how I got there.”
He frowned, concern filling his features. “You have missing memories?”
“It certainly appears that way. Unless you imagined the kiss back in my realm?”
“One way to find out,” he replied with a shrug. The next thing I knew, Dresden and Niall were in the room with us, and Kai asked, “Did Tessa and I kiss back in her realm?”
Dres nodded.
“How do you know?” I asked.
“From your memories. The next day you couldn’t stop thinking about it. You wanted to punch him and kiss him all at the same time.”
“Sounds accurate,” Kai replied with a grin.
