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"I see you're still trying to play games." He sighed, his eyes softening with what looked like pity. "I was hoping you'd be different, Cordelia. I was hoping that maybe you could help us change the world."
"Change the world? Whatexactlydo you mean by that?" I asked, my curiosity piqued in spite of myself.
"We're trying to rid the world of vampires, Cordelia. They're as dangerous as any cancer and they need to be exterminated." He looked at me with earnest eyes, and I could see the conviction in his face. Crazy as he sounded in a world where vampires were accepted, he really believed. "You could be a part of that. You could help us make the world a better place," he paused and seemed to contemplate his next words.
I stared at him while I waited. He was not a man who would be easily deterred from this cause of his. Not that it mattered.
He tilted his head as if considering me from another angle might help him convince me. Or maybe he thought I needed to see him from a different angle. I didn’t know but neither did I buy into his theory of necessary eradication. "But not if you're defending those who are completely fine supporting the vampires and their lifestyle."
"I never said that Gran supported vampires. You're putting words into my mouth." Anger quickly took over my level-headedness. His threats against her, even the unspoken ones, made my blood boil.
Jonathon laughed. "Oh, Cordie. That's what they call you, right?" to hear him speak to me so familiarly caused an ache in my stomach.
I glared at him, silently daring him to continue.
"Anyone who associates with vampires, even in the slightest, most abstract way, is guilty by association." He paused and then looked at me as if he could sway me by the depths of his look alone. "And that includes your grandmother."
"So you're saying that if I want to protect my grandmother because she inadvertently socialized with a vampire then I have to obey you? So I’m either with you and Gran gets to live, or I’m against you and she dies because you say so?" I asked.
"That's exactly what I'm saying." His face was stone serious. More than what I saw on his face was what I saw in his eyes, pure belief in his cause, which made me believe he would hurt her. He wasn’t leaving much room to think anything else.
"If you're aware of vampires and not actively fighting against them, you're just as bad as someone who chooses to fuck and feed them." Jonathon looked pointedly at me, hatred radiating from him.
Obviously he knew of my relationship with Rook or I wouldn’t be here. But this son of a bitch was trying to use that relationship to shame me while, simultaneously, holding me hostage for his cause. I refused to apologize for trying to make Gran's life better, and I knew that I had made the right choice in becoming a feeder. After all, it had led me to Rook, and as strange as it might sound I had felt more alive since I met him.
"Well, Jonathon, firstly only my friends call me Cordie, so please call me Cordelia, since I don't consider you a friend. Secondly, who put you in charge of what makes someone a good person and worthy of living in this vampire free world you're trying to create? How could an elderly woman with dementia, one who has always stayed away from vampires to the point that she wouldn't even get a welcome mat because she didn't want to implicitly invite them in, be condemned for one conversation with the vampire, one who saved her granddaughter's life I might add. Lastly, I'm happy to report that your vampire enemies gave me more and better orgasms, unlike any I've ever experienced with a human man." My sass had taken over. God have mercy on his soul. I closed my eyes knowing I should probably shut up, but too angry to do so, and when I opened them again he was scowling at me. "It's a crying shame you and your cohorts can't even find a clitoris. All I can think of is all those poor, unfulfilled women who will never know the raw, sexual power of a vampire tongue and that's not even getting into how well they actually fuck. I could give a whole talk on that.”
The scowl deepened and the woman inside of me roared. My sex education talk had disgusted Jonathon, and I wasn't one bit ashamed or apologetic. He rose from the cot without saying another word and exited the cell. Should I have kept my mouth shut? Absolutely, but it felt damn good to vent some of my anger against this self-righteous asshole.
I expected someone to bring my cell phone to me, but after what felt like several hours had passed, I realized no one was coming. Had I pissed Jonathon off to the point that he didn’t want to work with me?
The thought that he’d changed his mind was as frightening as it was intensely satisfying, but it also left a lot of unanswered questions that went to placing blame at my feet. If I didn’t cooperate, there were no guarantees he would spare Gran. Or that he would spare me. Not that I really thought he would. And if, or rather when, he killed me I was sure that he would move onto another feeder, another human captivated by the sensuality of vampires.
How many humans would die at his hands or because of his ideals? The thought was enough to nauseate me, especially when he was the one claiming to be one of the good guys.
Eventually, when no food or water arrived, I laid down on the tiny cot. My attitude might have sealed my fate. In some ways it was a relief. I'd rather go down swinging and speaking my mind than cowering in a room alone. If it wasn't for Gran I would have fought them tooth and nail from the get go, but I couldn't risk her life just because I was as stubborn as a mule.
What if my attitude had done just that though? Dread curled its way around my spine and I begged my mind to shut off and let sleep takeover once more so I could stop torturing myself even if it was only for a moment. I didn't expect my body to comply so easily, but before I knew it my limbs were heavy and my breathing was slowing.
All I could do was hope that this time I was able to make contact with Rook.
10
Cordelia
Despite my growling stomach, bone-dry mouth, and heart-palpitating anxiety, I somehow managed to drift off to sleep. Each time I'd fallen asleep before, I had forced myself to search for Rook, to remain in the space between wakefulness and deep sleep. The only time I'd been able to see him wasn't exactly what I'd hoped either. It was as if I'd been watching from afar as he brutally injured and killed anyone who stood in his way of finding me.
Something immediately felt different about the dream that was beginning, though, and I couldn't stop the surge of hope that went through me. This felt like it had before when I'd been in the dreams that Rook was in as well. This liminal space didn't feel as empty or dark as it had the last time I'd gone looking for my vampire.
Rook's face appeared first followed by his upper body and, to my surprise, he looked right at me. That's all there was though, nothing more, just him. I could tell there were things around him, shapes in the darkness, though I couldn't make out what they were. Everything was fuzzy and dark, as though he was clothed in shadows, and I wasn’t sure if it was because the connection was weak or because I only wanted to focus on Rook. He was the only thing I could see though, like the world began and ended with him in that moment.
It was the hope that shone in his own gaze that had my feet moving. A wave of relief washed over me as I ran to him. Without hesitation, he stepped forward to catch me in his arms, swinging me around from the force of the impact. I'd known I'd missed him, that I cared for him, but as every emotion under the sun clogged my throat I finally realized just how much I missed him and how scared I was about the coming events.
He held me tightly as I buried my head into the hollow space where his throat met his shoulder, and for a moment I just breathed him in. The unique scent of him drifted through my defenses and let me know that even if this wasn't happening in reality, he was actually connected to me via my dream. We were together, at least in some sense, and that broke me in a way I didn't expect.
My fear barreled out of me in fat tears that began to roll down my cheeks. I allowed myself to release emotions I typically wouldn't show in front of him. I cried hard, ugly cried, sobbing and coughing as Rook smoothed my hair and kissed my forehead.
When I finally pulled back to look up at him I opened my mouth to tell him what had happened, but he threaded his fingers into my hair and tilted my head, kissing away the remaining tears on my cheeks before he pressed his mouth against mine in a kiss I so desperately needed.
