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It caught me by surprise but I wasn't about to object. When he opened his mouth and kissed me more deeply I melted in his arms. It wasn't a kiss based around lust, there was something deeper there, and as he held me I felt cherished in a way I never had before.
The sensation of his cool lips and warm breath mixed with the salt from my tears was dizzying. I wanted to climb inside that kiss and live there, lock the rest of the world out until it was just the two of us and no one could hurt us anymore. The idea sounded like paradise, or at least it would be for a while, long enough to make me forget about everything that was going on outside.
After a few long and blissful moments, he pulled away, both of us breathless. His gray-blue eyes shimmered with unshed tears and I knew that this was just as hard for him as it was for me. "I love you, Cordelia."
His words crashed into me like a wave against the shore. I was so stunned by his declaration and took a step backward, not that Rook's hold on me let me go far. The sentiment was the last thing I'd expected to hear out of his mouth. A warm blast started at my toes and worked its way up as I stared into his eyes and realized that the deep affection was mutual.
"I love you, too," I announced, tears streaming in hot lines down my cheeks once again, only this time it wasn't from fear, sorrow, or anything like that. It was from happiness and joy, the fact that I had finally understood my feelings toward him, all of it felt like a small miracle.
His smile was one that could have lit up the entire world. It wasn't big, not a huge cheesy grin stretched across his face, but it was so genuine that it made my heart ache.
How had I not realized that I loved Rook before now? After all, I had put myself in dangerous situations and had been kidnapped for him. Twice. That had to mean something. I just hadn’t been able to see it.
The only thing I'd ever allowed myself to admit, even if it was just a thought, was that I cared about him deeply. But now, having said the words, having realized the depths to which I meant them, and having finally accepted that the strong feelings I'd felt toward Rook were actually love, my heart felt lighter. All this time, I had just been too scared to admit it to myself. After all, loving someone makes even the thought losing them unbearable, and our situation certainly wasn’t an easy one.
When everything was said and done he was still a vampire prince, even if he was exiled, and I was a nobody in comparison, but I didn't care. He'd said the words and I'd said them back and that was all that mattered.
I had inadvertently put up a wall to keep myself from feeling the pain of rejection or worse, loss. The same pain I’d felt when I lost my mom at such a young age. It was the same reason I fought so hard for Gran. I couldn’t lose her.
In a sense, Rook and I were both being hunted. Him for who he was and me for loving him. I might not have realized it before, but that was why Massimo has taken me. Rook understood that, even when I didn’t.
"Are you okay? Did they hurt you?" Rook asked, concern etched on his face. His hair was disheveled and he looked as if he hadn’t shaved in a few days.
I shook my head. What they did to me didn’t matter. Gran mattered. "No, I'm okay. But they've threatened Gran and Jo.” This was a desperate situation and my tone reflected as much. “You've got to check on them and send Cross to guard the house. The vampire hunters know where we live and they’re using Gran and Jo to keep me in line."
He nodded and spoke with someone out of my line of sight. Cross? I wondered. I tried to step around him to get a glimpse of the other person, but there was nothing beyond Rook.
I huffed in frustration. I wanted to see Cross just as much as I wanted to see Rook. I still had feelings for Cross even after admitting my love for Rook, and it wasn’t something I could help or even understand, but that didn’t make it less true. I had such a deep devotion to Rook that I couldn’t imagine my life without him, but the thought of Cross still sent my heart racing as well. I flushed as I remembered the way his mouth trailed over my body, the way he’d used his lips and teeth, and the way he had thrust his tongue deep inside me. Now was not the time for those kinds of thoughts though.
"I promise we'll find you, Cordie. You have to hold tight. Somehow, our bond is being blocked." Rook grabbed both of my hands and kissed my knuckles gently but with a firmness that told me everything I needed to know of his desire and need. "Where are you?" he asked. His anguish lined his face and made him appear much older than I assumed he was.
Before I could tell Rook about the hunters and the dilapidated building they’d trapped me in, the creak of the door to my room opening echoed in my ears and my eyes snapped open, effectively ending the dream.
Milo stormed in. Fury was etched on his face, making him look like a petulant child.
I stared at Milo as he glared at me, arms crossed. But he was the one who disrupted my dream, who pulled me back to this painful reality.
The connection with Rook was gone, I could feel that, but I wanted more, which meant going back to sleep if I could. If Milo was there I wouldn't let my guard down though, I didn't trust him further than I could throw him. I knew that there was a reason he was there, but apparently he wanted me to either wait or guess what it was because all he seemed to want to do was look at me like I was a bug he wanted to crush.
I soothed myself with the idea of what Rook would do to Milo once he found him. This time I would help, because all of these men deserved to be wiped from the face of the earth. Finally, I leveled my gaze at Milo. "What do you want?" I asked, my voice sounding cold and angry even to my own ears.
11
Rook
Damnit! She had been right there, I’d had her in my arms. And then, Cordie had been ripped from me before she could tell me where she was. The anger built in my gut and I had to figure out how to release it or I was going to explode. With a roar of frustration I picked up the new coffee table and slung it across the room. It landed with a crash on the drink station, glass bottles shattering, alcohol exploding onto the carpet, and wood splintering.
With a superhuman amount of rage coursing through me, I lifted the couch and threw it, too. It hit the wall hard enough to smash the drywall to pieces leaving the couch embedded between the studs while one of the big windows attached to that wall shattered. Tinted glass rained down making a strange sound against the tile and concrete that was almost enough to snap me out of it.
It wasn't enough though as Cordelia's sobs were playing on repeat in my mind, not to mention the way she shook in my arms. The thought of losing her was more than I could bear. I punched the kitchen wall, leaving a massive hole next to the refrigerator, then ripped the doors from the front and threw them against the dining table. Wood splinters flew through the air even as I quickly swept the contents from the fridge and threw them to the ground.
It wasn't like we needed them with Cordie being kidnapped. Again.
All because of me. Because of who I was and my arrogance and greed.
I'd been so sure I could keep her safe, that my reputation and having Cross would deter anyone from taking an interest in her, but I'd been so wrong. She was the one paying the price for me thinking I could have my cake and eat it too.
The rage overwhelmed me again and I destroyed everything in my path: furniture, glass, and walls. It had taken a sum total of about three minutes to make the penthouse resemble a war zone. A bomb could have gone off and caused less damage than I had.
