Page 68 of Catalyst


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He continued, looking back at his book again. “Don’t take that the wrong way. It’s day two of being a human, and I understand you’re overwhelmed and don’t want to stay this way. I get it. Being human is fucking awful. Inevitably, I’m going to get to know Clawdia the human while we are getting Savida’s fire back. But if you’re going to revert to Clawdicat, then I don’t want to reconcile the two of you in my head. Do you get that? I won’t be able to look at you as a cat without seeing you as you are now.”

“I understand.” I did. I couldn’t imagine how confusing it must be for him to have a treasured pet suddenly turn human. Not only that, but be a human from a different decade, with a history, fears, opinions.

For me, if I didn’t have the overwhelming sensations and the crippling fear, being human, talking to Charlie, and being with him like this would have been a dream come true for Clawdicat. But he was right. When I saved Savida from Winnie, I’d go back to being a cat, her familiar. We’d go back to normal, being a family, sisters.

And that would mean I couldn’t speak to Charlie anymore. If he took the otherworlders around the world, I probably wouldn’t see him again, either.

I turned my head away to look in Zaide’s direction and let one lone tear fall down my face as I mourned how our lives used to be and how they never would be the same again.

CHAPTER16

MARGARET CLAUDIA

FRIDAY 24THJUNE 1921

Ireread the words which officially ended my life as I knew it.

Miss Margaret Claudia Smith

You have not attended your scheduled shifts at the Free Hospital, nor your mandatory academic lessons, for five consecutive weeks. Both the lessons and the practical nursing experience are a part of your nursing training.

Since you have ignored all our efforts to communicate with you, you are being released from the nursing training programme at the Free Hospital, effective immediately.

We will not refund your tuition for the last year as per the terms and conditions of the course.

Wishing you all the best with your future,

The Free Hospital Nurse Training Team

Heavy footsteps stomped ominously toward my door, bringing me out of the trance of staring at the black ink. I sucked in a sharp, short breath, fear making me dizzy as blood drained from my face.

He isn’t supposed to come back today. It’s too early. I must have done something. Something must have happened. Why is he—

I couldn’t allow myself to be distracted with panic. I quickly hid the letter behind the pillow of my armchair, wiped my eyes, and held my breath as I waited.

I heard the clatter of keys against my door as metal scratched at wood and then slid into the lock. At the click of the key, I started shaking. The door swung open, and I tried to hide it, tying my fingers together and tensing my body in anticipation. My father entered the room. His shadow cast on the wall from my dim candle drew him as the monster he was.

My eyes focused on his clenched fists and narrowed gaze. His eyes looked at me with the same disgust I had for myself.

How had I allowed myself to get into this situation?

“Get ready for dinner,” he growled, and I heard the slight slur, saw his eyelids close in a slow blink. I knew he had been drinking, and my stomach clenched as even more fear swarmed like a wasp's nest inside me.

“Sir?” my voice quaked and croaked from misuse. They did not invite me to dinner anymore. They did not feed me often.

“Don’t question me!” he roared. “And don’t make me ask you again.”

I bowed my head and studied my red, raw fingernails. “Yes, sir,” I said meekly, the fight beaten out of me. I was concerned about this invite but soul weary and knew what a refusal would cause me.

“Dress well. We have an important guest.”

My stomach flipped, but I said nothing further.

Still recovering from Father’s earlier visit, I moved slowly, ignoring the pain which pulsed across my whole body, and quickly lit a few more candles. The dress I chose was a beautiful forget-me-not blue with yellow detailing on the top. It bagged around my chest and was tied with a belt just below my hips. Both fashionable and convenient, as it covered the bones now jutting from under my thin, pale skin and brushed just above my ankles, hiding the bruises littering my body.

Washing my face, I stared back at the gaunt reflection in the mirror. Dark circles swallowed my eyes. Ten weeks of imprisonment and abuse dulled the vibrant violet color.

When I was ready, I stood staring at the door.

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