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“Because I’m a fucking idiot,” he answers.
I roll my eyes and grab a towel when he leaves the bathroom. Wiping up the mess, I try again. “Has there been some kind of… repercussion? Did someone find out?”
He shakes his head, toweling his wet hair and staring blankly at the wall. “No, no one knows.”
I stare at myself in the mirror, watching Alex hang his head out of the corner of my eye. He’s a good man, and he doesn’t want to be here, but he’s close to giving up. We need to focus on getting out, not simply surviving our circumstances. To get him to see that, I need to understand him.
“So, why?” I ask. “Why would you take a risk like that? Another risk to help me?”
Alex drags his feet over to the couch, throwing his towel on the ground. “Seeing my wife sitting next to him…” he trails off.
“You wanted to get back at him?” I ask.
“I wanted to disobey, maybe. Yeah. I wanted to play chess a little.” He leans back and shrugs. “And I wanted to remind myself… you have a husband.”
I bite my lip and writhe my hands, aware there’s tension between us. It doesn’t help that the Eminent forcibly put Alex’s hand down my pants earlier.
“It wasn’t smart,” he huffs.
“It meant a lot to me,” I say with a shaky breath. “Despite your best efforts, Alex, I’m trusting you.”
He turns his focus on me, his face hardening. “Don’t expect it again before the hearing,” he warns, storming over to a drawer and rummaging inside.
I don’t argue. Getting Alex into trouble won’t do us any good, and the visit with Sam was risky. He yanks some things out and slams the drawer back closed.
“She still trusts you, too,” I tell him.
He freezes, holding some clothes in his hand.
I’m careful with my words, hoping they’ll help him, give him some peace. “When I first realized I loved Sam, I told him I might have to… give myself to Dean. He had a lot of power on the Thalassa. It didn’t mean that Sam failed me or didn’t love me enough.”
Alex turns so I can see his profile over his shoulder. His Adam’s apple bobs with a hard swallow.
“Your wife knows her temporary… sacrifice…” I take a step forward, fighting back the quiver of my voice. “And whatever we have to sacrifice, isn’t anyone’s fault but the Eminent’s. She’s right to trust you. I trust you. Sam trusts you.”
He doesn’t respond but takes slow steps toward the bathroom, shutting the door behind him with a soft click. There’s rustling and the sound of running water and then the shatter of the mirror. I only hope he used something other than his fist. Either way, I don’t regret telling him what he needs to know, even if he doesn’t believe me.
Chapter Sixteen
Uprising
Alexcrawlsintobedsometime later with his fists bloody. I heard him cleaning up the fragments of the mirror, and I winced as the broken pieces went clanging into the trash can.
“What will you tell them?” I ask, pointing to the bathroom door. I can’t imagine replacing something goes without questions. There isn’t a supply chain down here.
“That I fucked you so hard on the sink, we cracked it,” he answers. He chuckles softly a moment later and so do I, relieved he’s calmed down. Maybe he let my words sink in.
He turns on his side and stuffs a pillow between us, a silent barrier we won’t cross, but I wonder if he wants to. Not to do what the Eminent is asking, but to comfort each other. The hurt he feels looking at his wife resonates with me, and I’m one of the few people left in this world that understands that pain.
He stares up at the ceiling, hands clasped across his middle. “Your boys kept seeking me out, you know.”
I sit up on my elbow, facing him in question.
“They’re a little creepy.” He raises his eyebrows and smiles. “I guess twins always are. Don’t take that the wrong way.”
“I don’t,” I say. “Their… um, ways can be creepy if you don’t know them.”
“Twin language and all that shit,” Alex agrees. “Anyway, they, um, would sneak out of their school and somehow find me when you were in lock-up. I didn’t plan on helping you anymore. I kind of washed my hands of it after telling Sam what happened to you. Hoped Adam wouldn’t figure out what I did in the first place.” His eyes meet mine in the dark. “Sorry. My wife is my priority and—”
