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“Yes, Nolan?” I called out.
“Do you have a moment?” Nolan’s head peeked in.
I dropped my stilo on the desk, leaning back in my chair. “I suppose.”
“I just wanted to see if you had Beckett’s blood card.” He strode to the front of my desk, fingertips skimming the top. “I searched for it in my office, but I can’t seem to find it.”
To make sure everyone had access to blood consistently, each member of the Faction was assigned a Blood Consort. In the Hierarchy specifically, matching members between the Pack and the Clan were paired off, each one responsible for keeping the other strong. Every person had a blood card for them and their Consort, which allowed them to access and deposit blood bag donations into the bank set up at the infirmary. You could only access each electrified cooler—yet another wonderful invention from the Ley Lines—with one of the cards.
Doing it this way meant none of us found ourselves in Blood Starvation, a very real and dangerous place for the Shrivikas and Ibridowyns to find themselves in. If we went too long without blood, it depleted our strength and ability to work, just as if we were deprived of food and water. The symptoms of Blood Starvation could be intense, from jittering nerves and twitches to weakened muscles and lethargy, and even hallucinations at the worst of it.
Luckily, with this tight system, none of us ever found ourselves in that place.
While the Alpha position had been empty, I’d temporarily taken over as Beckett’s Consort, happy to give anything to the physician who had helped me all those months ago. But now, a new Alpha was here, ready to take over that duty. To make sure his partner in rank was strong and ready to lead.
“Here.” I pulled open one of the drawers of my desk, the card sitting right on top. “I just filled his cooler yesterday, so you should have about a week before you have to restock it.”
“Thanks.” He slipped it into the back pocket of his dark pants. “It must have been hard having to Consort for both Beckett and Emric.”
I shrugged. “I only consorted to Beckett. Emric is my Consort, but his human husband is his.”
“Oh.” His shoulders dropped. “Well, at least it’s one less thing you need to worry about.”
I couldn’t even respond to that, heart lurching at yet another responsibility taken away from me. All my actions, everything from my past was catching up and ripping away my dreams one by one. SoI just stared at him, curbing my emotions so they weren’t desperately written all over my face. He blatantly stared back, those green eyes appraising every inch, attempting to see through the facade I’m sure he knew I put up every day.
“Is there something else?” I cleared my throat, hoping he would leave me and my jittering nerves alone for the rest of the day.
“Nope,” he said, taking a step back. “I’ll see you at the camp tonight.”
My breath caught in my throat. Pressure built within me, twisting and writhing, pulling my attention inward, toward the ache.
No, not now. Not in front of him.
My past does not define me, I am stronger than my past.
I repeated the words in my head as I unclenched my white-knuckled fingers from around the arms of my chair, leaning forward.
“No, you won’t.” I picked up my stilo again, twirling it between my fingers to keep them busy. I kept my voice level and cool, not wanting to give away any of the actual panic swirling just below my surface. “I don’t attend the campouts anymore. Medical exemption.”
Nolan halted in his tracks, turning back around. “It’s my first campout, and you’re telling me that my Beta won’t be there to celebrate?”
“Pretty much,” I mumbled, refusing to look up at him. I felt the weight of his stare on me, but I refused to budge. I knew what part of me was coming to the surface—the one that thought it was protecting me. I would usually try to fight it, but this time I let it free. If he wanted to battle against my stubbornness, then he was in for a treat.
“I saw the exemption note in your file,” he said, my insides jittering at the mention of that dreadful stack of papers. “But it had mentioned that you didn’t always have to attend. Made me believe that you could pick and choose when you wanted to go, not that you didn’t attend altogether.”
“That is true.” I nodded without looking up at him. “And I made the decision that this is one of those times I am choosing not to go.”
He sighed. “I want the entire Hierarchy there so I can get to know all of you better. So we can become a team.”
I wasn’t surprised he wanted me there; the Full Moon Camp was a Faction tradition that went back to the conception of the Ibridowyn. Although the Varg Anwyn Bridos were no longer forced to turn during the full moon, it didn’t make the call to the lustrous orb that looked over us any less alluring. We craved it, maybe even more so with the freedom of being able to turn at will. Since the Shrivika Bridos now felt that same calling, we celebrated under the full moon every month. Factions would camp out in the wooded area of the Compound to drink and laugh and revel together. We would forget the responsibilities from the past and for the future and just be. Except for a few Deltas and Dairchtas who we kept behind to monitor for any issues, everyone was required to go. That was, until my last psycho-physician had given me a medical exemption from the monthly event.
“Wearea team.” I crinkled my brow, my nose scrunching up. “With or without me there tonight, that fact doesn’t change.”
“No, we’re colleagues,” Nolan challenged, coming back to stand in front of my desk, his towering form looming over me. “A team is a group of people who work together because they enjoy it, not because they’re forced to.”
“You’ve only been here a week, Nolan.” I tried to evade the subject, to put it to rest before we went to a place we couldn’t return from. “Just give it time.”
“Kasha, this is important to me, so I’ll ask nicely one more time.” The power in his words raised my gaze to finally meet his. “Come to the Full Moon Camp tonight.”
