Page 80 of Captured By Chaos


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“I ne—need to explain.” I didn’t know if I could fall asleep without explaining, even if my words were barely coherent. I didn’t want him to think less of me.

“You need to rest.” He sat down on the side of the bed, pulling the covers over my shaking body. The warmth enveloped me like a cocoon, settling my pulse slightly. He tilted his head, hands moving slowly up my arm and toward my hair, his fingers gently brushing the strands in a smooth rhythm. “Just sleep. I’m not going anywhere. We can talk tomorrow.”

There was sincerity in his voice, a promise laced through the words he would not break. I let myself sink lower into the soft mattress, pulling the blankets tighter around me. He continued to stroke a reassuring pattern up and down my hair, his fingers lightly scratching at my scalp in the most unexpectedly soothing way. I didn’t know what it was, the crackling fire, the overwhelming exhaustion, or the calm flow of his fingers, but before I even realized it, sleep took me into its clutches.

Chapter Thirty-Nine

A groggy fog still plagued my mind when I slowly slipped back into consciousness, a groan escaping my lips as I rolled over to welcome the next day.

My mind and body were out of sync, my movements lethargic and slower than normal. I kicked the covers off, pulling at the sweaty black under-armor that I hadn’t taken off. My mind tried to push through the fog, attempting to remember everything that happened.

Counseling. Caleb’s unexpected arrival. Being stabbed by a mystery assailant. The crime scene.

Dear Goddess above, a week’s worth of stress rolled into one terribly short time period.

Then the final moments of the day came rushing back to me, my body shooting upward at the memory that made my cheeks redden with shame. “Oh Goddess,” I groaned, dropping my face into my hands. What was I thinking?

I had thrown myself at Nolan, when all he was trying to do was help me. I had tried to use him to numb my pain, not even caring what he wanted in that moment. How could I even cross that line? It had happened once before, but this was different. I knew what I was doing last night, and still I’d made the choice. I had risked my reputation in the Guard and my newly developed friendship with Nolan…not to mention my pride.

How was I ever going to face him again? I needed to—I remembered trying to last night—but he had put me to bed instead, insisted I rest before we spoke. I wished he hadn’t done that, because now all I could focus on were the knots of anxiety growing tighter and tighter in my stomach, winding me in a grip impossible to escape.

A clamor from below pulled my attention, my heart skipping quickly. I didn’t even think before I rushed out of bed, heading for the staircase.

I padded downstairs, my bare feet slapping against the smooth wood of each step, mouthwatering at the scent of fried eggs and bacon before I even made it to the lower floor. Was Lea still here? She was usually at her forge by this time. I headed for the back of our house toward the kitchen, the crackling of fat sizzling in a hot pan beckoning me forward.

But as I rounded the corner, a new scent that caught my attention, the cinnamon-citrus aroma intoxicating in a completely different way.

“Morning,” Nolan said, his typical grin welcoming me into the sunbathed kitchen. He stood behind the counter where I usually found Lea. His hands moved expertly, one with a spatula flipping a few pieces of bacon out of a cast-iron pan, another lightly seasoning a heaping stack of scrambled eggs.

He acted as though it was completely normal for him to be here when it was anything but.

“What…did you come back?”

“No, I never left.” He turned his back for a moment, grabbing something off the back counter before facing me with a steaming mug in his hand. “I crashed on the couch after you fell asleep. Gave Lea a scare when she came home, but I made it up to her by feeding her breakfast before work this morning.”

“Wh—why?” My pulse picked up speed, my weight easing back and forth on each foot.

“Well, seemed like the right thing to do since I scared her witless at two in the morning.”

I shook my head. “No. Why did you stay?”

“I told you last night, I’m not abandoning you.” He pushed the mug toward me, the nutty roast of the coffee wafting into my nose. “Come and sit. I already ate, but I wanted to make sure you ate, too. After yesterday, you need it.”

My cheeks heated at his nonchalant nature. He was one of the most infuriatingly kind people I had ever met. I had embarrassed myself utterly with him yesterday, I had desperately thrown myself at him, yet here he was, refusing to let that affect the way he treated me.

Why couldn’t he just give me a taste of my own medicine? Goddess knew I deserved it after all this time.

“Will you just stop being stubborn and sit down?” he laughed, shaking his head as he dropped a plate of food next to the coffee. “Or are you going to let all my hard work go to waste?”

His light laughter helped to loosen some of the tension in my muscles, my shoulders relaxing. Finally getting control over my feet again, I slid into the high stool perched in front of the counter, the food and coffee tempting my growling stomach. I took a few hesitant bites, the eggs perfectly seasoned and the bacon crispy. My stomach gurgled again, begging for more; I picked at the plate, staring down at it. “I’m sure you have some questions about yesterday. About why the victim…affected me that way.”

He stared at me from over the counter, his bright forest eyes softening. “Kas, you don’t have to tell me anything.”

“How can you even say that now?” My stomach churned as I took another bite. “After everything you witnessed yesterday?”

“Your past is your story to tell.” He wiped his hands on a cloth before tossing it on the counter. “I would never force you to tell me anything until you’re ready.”

“That seems unfair. You told me about Cleo when I asked.”

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