Page 81 of Captured By Chaos


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“That’s different.” He stole a piece of bacon off my plate and ripped a bite off. “I knew going into that bet there was a high probability you would ask me about my connection to Elliot. I was ready for it, expected it, and I still made the choice to take the risk. I’ve had time to mourn Cleo, to accept and recover from my trauma. All of that coping makes it easier to tell the story. If you’re not ready, then I understand.”

His words hit me with a force unlike any other. This man, who I had shown so much anger and resentment toward, continued to surprise me daily.

“Why are you so kind to me?” I just didn’t understand. I didn’t deserve it.

“Because I like you,” he said without hesitation, his bright gaze steady, holding mine. “I see you in a way I don’t think many people, including yourself, do. Strong, capable, utterly intoxicating, fascinating. You have a mind unlike any other, and a drive that could change the world if you wanted to. How could I not want to be around that? How could I not be drawn to that?”

His words left me speechless. Darkened whispers once again tried to tell me they were all lies, pretty words meant to deceive; yet, for the first time in a while, those terrible thoughts were the quite ones. A stronger, more loving voice told me to listen, to look. Everything about him in front of me, his posture, his eye contact, the passion behind each word spoken, told only the truth.

He meant every single thing he had just said about me.

“Doesn’t mean I deserve it,” I mumbled, unable to control the waver in my voice.

“You do.” He leaned his elbows on the counter, sliding one arm over to cover my hand with his. “I don’t know everything, but I have witnessed enough over these past few weeks to get an understanding of why you acted the way you did at first. Plus, I knew you were passed over for promotion—I was given warning about that. I sort of expected you to be…less than thrilled when I came into it.”

“And yet you still came?”

He smirked, a wicked glint in his eye. “I knew my charm would eventually win you over.”

I scoffed. “Still as confident as ever.”

“As if you’d want me to change.” He winked.

Heat spread into my cheeks again, flushing down my chest. “No, I suppose not.”

“Anyway,” he walked around the counter, dropping into the chair next to me, angling himself so we faced each other.“I don’t need answers until you’re ready, but trust me when I say I see you. I see all of you. I see the reason for being weary of trusting outsiders, of not wanting to risk yourself after everything you seem to have been through. You have an army of people who would lay down their lives for you, literally. You don’t need me, I get that. I know your trust isn’t easily earned…I get that too. But just know, I hope to one day be considered part of those trusted people. I hope one day I can earn that privilege.”

I stared at him, my mouth slightly gaping as I took in all of the beautiful, honest words he had just spoken to me.

He was right, in a way. The rest of my Faction, my friends who had been nothing but a protective support through everything I had gone through, would never waver from me. I trusted them, but I had gained that trust before my life came tumbling down.

Nolan was the first person in the past year that I’d attempted to form a bond with, something that had seemed pointless at the beginning. In a way, it made his presence different than the others. He hadn’t known me before, he hadn’t known the woman who walked around the Compound with nothing but surety in her heart and unwavering confidence in her veins. He only knew this broken, tattered version where I barely felt like a complete person some days. Yet, he still saw these unimaginable traits in me and spoke of me with nothing short of awe in his voice.

He saw all of me, the weak and the strong, and still he wanted to learn more.

He wanted me to trust him. Not only that, he had put in effort to help bring me to a place where I could. It set a fire inside of me, my mind spinning as I came to terms with what I had been denying for too long. Vanessa’s words from the other day rang in my head:“Those who care about you, those who are really worth your trust, will stop at nothing to earn it.”

If I believed in the power of clairvoyance, I would be utterly convinced that Vanessa had that ability. Somehow, she had known exactly what I needed even before I did.

Nolan cared about me. He was determined to prove that to me every day, with his words and actions. He had listened to me, he had pushed me to places others feared would break me, he gave me excuses when I needed them, a shoulder to lean on when support felt impossible, and he never seemed to ask for anything in return. He was a confident man who liked to tease and play games. Yet, with all of that, he held so much kindness and selflessness within him.I was unsure what it was about him that made me feel so out of control and yet completely safe at the same time.I may have been resistant at first, but slowly we had found ourselves in this place.

Which meant he was worth giving my trust to.

The thought was an unprecedented one for me, but my heart and soul settled, the guilty tension easing the moment I accepted it. He did deserve it, he had earned it, and I would cherish it for the gift it was.

My gut was telling me this was the right thing to do. Trusting my instincts, I pushed forward.

“I want to tell you.” I looked up, my words full of determination, my heart still beating steady at the declaration.

“Are you sure?” He asked, his voice soft and soothing, beckoning me with its comfort.

I nodded, taking one final breath before I began. “It all started about a year ago, on the night of a full moon…”

Chapter Forty

My pace slowed, my soft silver fur rustling in the wind as Ifinally came to a stop after my race with Logan. It was an odd tradition we had started when I became his Beta, one we always did. I leaned back on my hind legs, my neck craning to look up at the full moon, basking under the protection of its glow.

“You are such a cheat,”Logan teased me before he rounded the corner, coming into my view, his silver-and-brown fur windswept.

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