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He pondered this, toeing the old wood of the dock as Ben took the brunt of the knuckle-rubbing, hair mussing, belly-punching, and general abuse. Had it ever really been pain that had laid him low or just an addiction to it? Had he actuallyneededto dwell on it—the feel of pins shifting in his bones, the hobble, the missing inches—to assuage, perhaps confuse, the other addictions he was fighting?
And had he not intended to break his promise to Ben with his plans for this island? Hadn’t that been what this purchase had been all about? A place to come and relieve the pain?
Maybe you couldn’t alleviate guilt with pills.
But you could be forgiven.
By his mother’s absolution of him for earlier sins he had not committed, he’d forgiven himself for more recent ones that he had.
It was a particularly annoying thought, given he’d just bought a fucking island to become thePablo Escobarof Scilly.
Was there a market for trafficking red squirrels instead?
The scuffling was getting out of hand. Ben was fending off Squeezy’s attempts to test the elasticity of the homemade shorts. Aleksey sighed, seized the cretin around the waist, lifted him bodily from the dock and tossed him into the water.
Tim caught them up with the family news as they followed the sound of Miles spotting things with the telescope along the tracks in the woods. Babushka was home safe and sound. Emilia had finished school and was with a friend for the week, but would be back soon. Then, ignoring the sounds of splashing and subsequent profanity behind them, he began once more to question them.
Why? How? When? Who?
All reasonable questions. Especially thewho.
Aleksey’s thoughts returned to his conversation with Ben the previous night. They’d been star-gazing on the sunken lawn, the dogs paddling in the dark, illuminated in neon blue.
‘What are we going to tell them?’
He’d seen a shooting star just as Ben had asked the question, and had thought it looked like a cry for help from heaven, a tiny flare for rescue. ‘The truth.’
It had been the right answer. It was always the right answer, he supposed.
So when Tim kept asking about Spindrift and why they’d become stuck on the island, he finally replied simply, ‘Yes, the boat. We gybed badly. Came too close to the cliffs and, glug, we sank.’
‘Bloody hell! Were you both okay? Did you just swim back in?’
‘Oh, yes. No one hurt. We just swam back. Nothing to worry about.’
When Tim went forwards to dispute with Miles whether he’d just seen a vulture, Ben turned to him, his expression troubled. He glanced behind them to check the damp one was out of hearing then said accusingly, ‘You promised me you’d tell the—’
‘—I did. I just redefined the word truth, that’s all.’
* * *
That night, when it was full dark, Aleksey took them all to the lighthouse.
Both Tim and Squeezy fully approved of the burning of the clothes, although they didn’t know the full significance of the stuffed guy.
Miles lit the beacon with great care, although he appeared extremely concerned about the rabbits, the nesting birds, and environmental pollution in general.
Aleksey told him pollution was a wonderful thing and that more people should drop plastic into the oceans.
When it was alight, the flames reaching high into the darkness, Squeezy began to stamp his feet. Ben laughed and copied him. Soon they were whirling around the blaze, silhouettes against the night sky.
When Hitler started to smoulder, Aleksey joined in.
When the guy caught and started to blacken and then exploded into sparks, he was stamping with the others. He felt a kind of madness in the air, as if somehow, they were sending this light out into the world as a warning— just as the huge, silent light above them had for centuries. But their caution was not for ships. Theirs was notice to the gods of chaos and chance.
But it was a guide too, for those who wanted to come home.
When the heat built to tremendous levels, mattresses, blankets, old furniture tinder dry and combusting, they threw the last things on. He’d selected a few photos he wanted of the house being built, the young men in caps, the island, but the rest, those with any other people in, they tossed onto the flames. Ben had wanted to do it and Aleksey let him.
