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By the time we make it to the island, I’ve convinced myself that I’m not making it off. Luca is obviously a psycho. He’s lulled me into a fake sense of safety by wooing me with all the Piovere business and his god-like sex abilities.
I come ashore and find him rejiggering the radio. He seems calmer. “Sophie, I have to apologize for my behavior out there. I can have a bit of a short fuse sometimes,” he says. “It’s no excuse as to how I spoke to you.”
“It’s okay,” I say, hoping he thinks I’m just breathless from the swim and not practically wetting myself. “We all can get caught up in how we’re feeling.”
Have I been caught up in the excitement of how I’ve been feeling? Chasing the exhilaration of our partying more than really him? I don’t know.
He laughs. “Well yes, that’s one way to nicely say I acted like a psycho.” He laughs again and I offer a small smile. He’s switched again. But which is the real Luca?
My mind is flashing with every self-defense class I’ve ever been given. Every scenario is rushing through my head and all I can recall is knee the groin. I almost laugh at my pitifulness. If only I at least had a gun. I’m handy with them.
“Well there’s still no one on the radio,” he says. “Which is odd because the system we have is very hard to turn off.” He makes a face, realizing what he’s just said to me. But he doesn’t explain it any further. Instead he frowns, makes another face and realizes that I’m watching. “Anyway. We’ll wait here, I’ve activated the GPS. If no one from the yacht comes, someone from the Colombino’s will.”
I nod. I’m trying to seem calm, despite also realizing that I left my phone on the yacht. Mimi’s words rebound in my head.How much do I trust him?
“We have time now,” Luca says, sitting down in the shade of a bald cypress. The small island has plenty of trees upon it and their roots trail out into the sand like searching fingers. “We can talk more.”
I nod and sit down, but I’ve put a bit of distance between us. Luca notices. His head hangs slightly and he clicks his tongue. “I’ve ruined it haven’t I?” he says.
“No, no,” I offer. He hasn’t ruined it. I can understand him getting frustrated, I’ve lived around men that do worse things when frustrated. But the question is now what do I say? How can I tell him about my life? I can only dodge who Ireallyam for so long. “I think the whole last couple hours has just caught up with me. First the yacht and—well you know. Then this and swimming out here,” I say.
He shakes his head and smiles. “It’s not a big deal, you know? I know everyone makes a big deal out of being a virgin. But, well, think of it like this. How do you feel now?”
How do I feel? I feel like I’ve just had sex with theenemy.Except I don’t see him like that…“What do you mean?” I ask, turning towards him slightly as we begin talking. He seems sincere in his apology about his actions. He’s the normal Luca from before.
“Well, do you feel different? Do you feel like a different person? Has losing your virginity finally solved all your problems?” He grins.
I laugh. “You’re right.”
“How old are you again?” he asks.
“Twenty-two,” I reply. “But I feel left behind.”
Luca smiles. “You’re still so young. You could wait until any age you wanted, once you realize that it’s all in your head, the real focus is on who you did it with.” He pauses. “I’m glad that you chose me.”
I burn up red. I’m completely caught off guard and flattered. I feel like it should be me saying this, not him. But, then maybe he’s making me feel better? Even when all this has happened and we’re stuck on an island, he still cares for me.
But would he care for me if he knew who I really was?
A dread washes over me, should I tell him? What would he do if I told him? An image of his angry body tense and ready to destroy me comes to mind. It had barely been minutes ago. But…
If he knew I was a Russo, would he be thesame man?
“I feel late to things sometimes,” Luca says quietly. So quietly I almost didn't catch it.
But I do, and I snap back towards him. “What do you mean?”
“It’s silly,” he says, shaking his head. “You might not understand. It’s about … my family.”
My pulse begins racing. What is this? Is this a Colombino secret that I might learn? Am I undercover now? Would this all justify everything? Would my father let me be whoever I wanted if I brought back a valuable piece of information? I switch that part of myself off though. He’s a human being. Not a chess piece to be exploited. “Try me,” I say. “I still have my secrets.”
He laughs and nods his head. He looks around the small beach we’re sharing, as if someone might be listening. “No, my frustrations and feeling late have to do with my father. My mother too, but mostly my father. I know I said it in anger before, but my name is Luca Colombino. My father is Michael Colombino, the Don of our family. I have big shoes to fill. Big shadows to outgrow and live up to. A lot of expectation sits on my shoulders. And since my mother …” he trails off. But before I can ask a question or he can allow the silence to gain a hold on us, he continues. “All my life I’ve been groomed for what I do. What we are, is a way of life. Not just an activity or a view opposing the law. It’sdifferent. There’s history with us. History with all mafia families .It’s been romanticized in movies and books, but in truth, the reality of this life can be lonely. And yet, family is everything.”
It's like he’s just reached into my head and expressed some of my own fears and thoughts. We’re both the children of powerful men. I realize that it’s not that I can’t dream, it’s that my dreams have already been decided …
“I know it sounds silly,” he says.
“It doesn’t,” I say, reaching out and taking his hand. “I’m glad you shared that with me.”
