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That wasn’t the night he went…
It was months later…
But it didn’t make it any easier.
That morning was the worst day of my life. No matter how much time I had to prepare, it would have never been enough.
I want to stand by and watch as the world burns.
My head is spinning… splitting…Like it’s being ripped in half.
They say everyone is a little crazy sometimes; a little insane. And that insane part of myself seems to be winning, because in an instant, I’m grabbing him, tugging him close. Shaking him for everything I’m worth. But he’s not moving.
I sob and hold onto him…
“Don’t leave me…” I growl painfully. But I know he’s already gone.
I thought we were Happily Ever After…
As Happily Ever After as it can be in this world, that is. But I guess that’s the fairytale. That’s the lie we tell ourselves. That’s what everyone wants to believe when they’re in love…
Thisis reality.
Pain. Destruction. Sickness…
In this world there’s congestive heart failure…there’s cancer…There’s death…
What was the point of falling in love when life was this cruel?
I’m breaking.
Crashing.
Why did I not see this coming? How did I not know this would happen?
I never wanted to close my eyes because I knew one day this would happen.
Every breath he took, I feared was the last…
And now what?
“No!!!” I scream in anguish, my fists balling.
I know both families now depend on me…
And I’m sure the council can hear me as I scream bloody murder at my dead husband. They’ve been sticking close by, hanging out in my living room for days. We all knew it was coming.
Well, the council did…
Only the council…
“You asshole!” I scream, not giving a damn if they heard me. In fact, I scream it and scream and scream it. There’s no facade anymore. This is complete unadulterated anger and sadness pouring out from every crevice. Pain…so much pain…
I want him back.
I want him back!
I wish I could beg him to come back.
