AllFreeNovel
Share Us
"Don't want me walking around in my underwear," I huffed. "You know it's only our group in this whole section."
"Better safe than sorry. Only our group gets to see your naked beauty." He winked, and I blushed, shuffling to the edge of the bed before standing up.
"I'll bring him back," I reassured him.
"Please do."
"Um...and sorry for causing trouble," I whispered.
"Can't apologize for something you had no control over, Crimson," Malachi replied.
I looked over my shoulder to meet his reassuring gaze.
"Go annoy Quillian for me." He winked, and I nodded before opening the door and walking out quietly.
Once the door was closed, I headed towards the balcony, running my hands through my hair.
My ears twitched, picking up the soft sounds of the others breathing, which made me smile. At least the rest of the guys were fast asleep. I frowned when I picked up ragged breathing coming from down the hall. My feet moved faster as I strode along the wooden floor and entered the living room.
Making a sharp right turn, I headed for the balcony and saw Quillian's figure leaning against the balcony frame.
I approached the glass, noticing a cigarette in his trembling hand. He stared at it with such concentration he didn't even see my approach, which only filled me with dread.
Something told me he shouldn't be smoking, that it would only do more damage, rather than heal the anxiety I knew he was currently dealing with. I slowly opened the door, and he still didn't notice my presence, his normally pink eyes now a teal blue and filled with tears.
"I promised I wouldn't. I vowed on your grave I would be a better man...that the next woman I loved...wouldn't have to see that side of me. That dark part of me...but...am I going to fall back to that if my past keeps haunting me?" He choked, the tears that pooled in his eyes finally spilling down his cheeks. He looked away, still not seeing me.
I walked up to him and took the cigarette out of his hand.
He turned his head to meet my gaze and looked a bit hesitant, as if he didn't know who I was.
Or which person I was.
"You know, I smoked for a year," I revealed, twirling the cigarette in between my fingers like it was nothing.
I walked back to the opposite side of the balcony, resting my back against the ledge as my tails wrapped around my waist.
My Kitsune was awake and watching as we tried to avoid Quillian's gaze.
"It was about maybe a year after I moved out, between the ages of seventeen and eighteen. I thought if I smoked and drank, I'd be cool and make shifter friends.
You know, finally feel accepted," I elaborated.
I lifted my other hand and snapped my fingers once, creating a small flame at my fingertips to help light the end of the cigarette.
"Crim-"
"It took me twelve months to realize that it didn't matter how much I smoked or drank. I would still never fit in because I was human," I continued, lifting the cigarette to my lips. I inhaled for a long time before I pulled it away, blowing out a stream of smoke while trying to ignore the awful taste in my mouth.
I looked back to Quillian who appeared stunned by my behavior.
"But...why would you do that if you quit?"
I smiled. "It took me a whole year before I was able to turn it down if someone offered me one of these. A white stick that helped heal my anxiety temporarily, but also sometimes made me crazy when I couldn't get a new pack after finishing the last one."
I lifted my head to look at him. "It was an addiction, and I could see the changes in me. Sure, it helped keep me calm...until I ran out and I needed another," I explained, taking another puff of the cigarette and exhaling another stream of smoke.
"But you know what the real problem was?" I asked.
