Page 81

There had been plenty of thoughts on my mind during the hectic days following the attack. Most of which had involved my future, where I wanted to go now that everything was said and done.

I catch him in the kitchen, having a cup of coffee and reading something on his phone.

“Hey,” I say.

He looks up, smiling at me. “Hey.”

I sit. “Can I talk to you for a second?”

He nods, setting his cup down and pushing his phone away.

“Of course.”

I lace my fingers in my lap, steadying myself.

“I’ve been thinking a lot recently about my future.”

He nods along. “I figured.”

“Since you have a lot going on and business to take care of with the Thomas’ youngest son, I was thinking of going away for a while.”

His brows knit together. “Going away? Where?”

“Well… I’m not too sure. I keep thinking back to the story you told me about how after high school you wanted to do your own thing. Explore and figure out who you are. And… well, I want to do that too. I’ve never left the States. I’ve never seen anything past Chicago. I want to.”

He leans over the table, grasping my hand in his. “Nella, you deserve everything you want and more. Explore, expand your horizons.”

I start to tear up and curse myself internally. I didn’t want to cry about this, I’d been determined not to. But here we are, of course.

“I’m going to miss you.”

He smiles gently at me, running a thumb over the back of my hand.

“I’ll be here when you get back.”

I swallow. “Will you?”

“Of course. I’m not going anywhere.”

I breathe out slowly. “I want you to know, Killian, that no matter what or where I go... my feelings for you—”

“And what feelings are those, Antonella?”

I smile softly, a single tear trailing down my cheek.

“That I love you. With all my heart.”

His eyes widen.

I hold out a hand before he can say anything. “Don’t. Just… I want to travel before I hear you say anything back, if you have anything to say, that is. At least for a few months if that’s okay with you.”

“Of course, it is. You don’t need to ask me that. You’re a free woman.”

“Really?” I tease him.

He chuckles. “Yeah, as free as you want to be at least.”

I squeeze his hand in my own, hoping like hell that by the time I get back, he still wants me. I don’t want to know his answer mainly because I know that whatever he said, it would make me want to stay. Whether he reciprocates my feelings or breaks my heart.