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"Hello, my sweet," he murmured, burying his face in my hair and inhaling long drags of my scent. "Miss me?"
"So fucking much," I replied, and tried to swallow the lump in my throat. It didn't budge. "I'm glad you're back."
Warm lips caressed my throat. "I'm happy to be home."
"Howareyou home?" Arkan muttered under his breath. "Those shields are indestructible."
"Hey," I complained, sniffling. "Private conversation."
Taj snorted, reaching out to slap Joseph's back in some manly reunion ritual. "There's no such thing as privacy between circle members."
Joseph lifted his head off my shoulder, and I frowned at how we fit together. I knew he'd been gone for four days but I hadn't expected it to feel different when we hugged, and it broke my heart a little. Had I forgotten how it felt to be wrapped up in him?
"Nothing can keep me from my mate when she needs me," Joseph told Ark fiercely. "Not a damn thing. I'm only sorry it took me so long to break out."
I opened my mouth to tell him how much I loved him, but panic grabbed hold of me before those little words could trip off my tongue. Loving someone always scared me. The people you loved were the ones who could hurt you, break you, kill you. But those were Eidolon's words, and if I was denying him as my father and finally seeing him for the captor and abuser he was, I had to start unlearning his teachings too.
I told Ark I loved him, and the world hadn't ended. He'd never hurt me—ever. None of my mates would. This was never about them and always about me, about the fucked up stuff that lived in my head.
Joseph's arms tightened when I trembled, our bond loud with worry and vicious protectiveness. I fully believed he'd tear down the whole castle if it would calm me.
"Avie?" he murmured. "Sweetness? Tell me what's wrong and I promise I'll fix it. If anyone's hurt you, I'll rip out their souls, no questions asked."
A soft puff of laughter blew out my nose. I leaned up until my lips brushed his ear and whispered, "I love you so fucking much. You have no idea how happy I am to see you."
His hand skimmed up my back and cupped my head, a kiss feathering over my temple. "I love you more than anything in any world. More than the sky and the stars, more than life and death and souls, more than waffles and pancakes—"
I gasped. "More than waffles?" My eyes pricked with more tears.
"I love you a thousand times more than all the waffles in the world," he replied, affection surging through his soul to caress mine when I sobbed.
It had been a rough fucking day, and even the most badass of women needed to cry. It all burst out until I was shaking, choking on air, my bottom lip wobbling and my knees weak. All my bruises, aches, and pounding pains came rushing back, the adrenaline of seeing Joseph wearing off until I was wrecked.
And I realised why it felt different to hug Joseph, why I felt off-kilter. I was in my bigger, taller demon form—and he hadn't even blinked at the sight of my red skin, horns, or claws. He still looked at me like I was beautiful.
"We've got you, princess," Arkan promised, his voice that same devastating soft tone from when he'd called me baby. Shadows swept in around us and carried us away; I buried my face in Joseph's broad chest and didn't fight the magic.
I lifted my head enough to see we were in my living room, in the suite Dev had given me, before I completely broke. The tough killer bitch was someone Eidolon had built. I didn't know who this sobbing, broken woman was, but I knew she was mine. And because I was stubborn, and I refused to be beaten, I knew when I stopped crying, when I healed, I'd be stronger than I'd ever been.
The only downside was I might still be crying ten years from now.
19
Icried myself to sleep in demon form, and woke up strangely clear-headed in my human form. I was butt-naked, but the covers were silk and I was surrounded by warm, clingy muscle, so it wasn't all bad.
It was also the first proper sleep I'd had since Eidolon attacked us. Hey, maybe that was why I was clear-headed? Maybe those pro-sleep people were actually onto something.1
The bare chest I was sprawled on top of moved with a sudden inhale, and the arm draped over me tightened, soft fingertips skimming my back in a casual, loving touch. I knew it wasn't Joseph because his fingers were freezing and these were warm, but no claws scratched me so … Arkan?
"Why does everything on your body hurt?" a low, sleep-scratchy voice asked, gently brushing a place on my side where my ribs thumped.
"Hellfoxes," I replied, lifting a hand to scratch the sleep out of my eyes, and blinking up at Taj's soft, beautiful face. The sight of that face no longer made me want to knee him in the dick. What had Ibecome?"They made me and Ark beat the shit out of each other."
Taj winced, his chocolate eyes unusually gentle. This was Taj stripped off all his walls and bullshit. This was the protective dog dad, the man who cared and defended andloved.
"I'll hunt them down and kill them," he offered, his lips tugging up into a smile when I met his eyes, my chin propped on his chest.
"Pretty sure they died after Ark and I crushed them."
