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The next day,the sound of a sharp knock at the door pulled me from the book I was reading on the sofa. I set the book down on the couch, slipping the bookmark into place and cursing whoever was interrupting the particularly spicy scene Danielle had written. I could see my own particular experiences interwoven into her writing. She had obviously been listening closely to some of my stories from Haven.
Plastering a smile on my face, I pulled the door open, only to have that smile falter as the one and only Lisa Snyder stood there staring back at me, a smug little grin plastered maliciously on her too heavily made-up face.
“Mrs. Snyder, good afternoon.”
“I wish I could say it was Mrs. Day. However, this is not a pleasant visit, I’m afraid.” The way she tutted as she spoke made me want to slam the door right in her sanctimonious face.
“Oh? What seems to be the problem?” I sighed heavily, my hand still solidly gripping the door in case my self-control failed and I ended up smacking her instead of simply slamming the door.
“Well, as I’m sure you’re aware, here in Apple Grove, we do have rules and regulations. There is a home-owner’s association, and upon purchasing your home, you and your husbanddidagree to abide by these rules.”
“I am unaware of how we have broken those rules, Lisa,” I said, working to hide my annoyance behind a faux-smile.
“Well, having quiet hours has a purpose, you see. The rule is in place to keep our lovely little community safe and undisturbed. Now, we do have exceptions in place for planned parties and such, but you have been breaking this rule rather frequently, and I just have to say that enough is enough.” Her littleharrumphof indignation made my eyes twitch with the willpower it took to not roll them.
“How exactly have I disturbed the peace, Mrs. Snyder?” I crossed my arms over my chest truculently.
“Well, over the last few months, I have noticed that you seem to come and go at all hours of the night,” she replied haughtily.
“I don’t see how my errands are disturbing the peace, and Iespeciallyfail to see how it’s any of your business.” Now I was feeling irate. This woman and her anticshadto stop. She was a pest and a thorn in the side of each and every citizen here in Apple Grove with her tittering, tattling, and tormenting ways. I was too annoyed to even give credence to the panic that started to prick at the edges of my consciousness, thinking about the possibility of Lisa discovering exactlywhyI was coming and going in the night. No use worrying about a problem that didn’t exist yet.
“Well, your lights shine right into my bedroom window and it disturbs my peaceful sleep. So you see, I simply must insist —”
“Sadie?” Danielle called, barging in through the back door off the kitchen. “Sadie, are you here?”
She came running through the house to the front door, her eyes wide and hand clutched dramatically to her chest as she found us.
“Oh, good! Mrs. Snyder, you’re still here. I was trying to catch you before you left. The Wilsons have committed a grievous offense!”
“Oh, dear! What on earth has happened?” Danielle walked forward and took Mrs. Snyder’s hands in her own, sniffling for dramatic effect.
“Well, you know they have those two little dogs —” o
“Wonton and Kimchi, yes?” Mrs. Snyder was hanging on her every word.
“You see, they have started to walk the dogs in the front yard instead of letting them out the back. And they are refusing —refusing—to pick up the excrement. It’s just obscene! Can you imagine?! Dog feces littering and fouling up our beautiful scenic walkways!” Danielle choked on a half sob, releasing Mrs. Snyder’s hands and raising them to her mouth.
“This simply will not do! It will not! You just give me a moment and I will handle the situation. Sadie, dear, we will talk later.” With that, Mrs. Snyder turned abruptly, waddling down the sidewalk towards the Wilson’s house, her modest heels clicking sharply against the pavement.
“And the Oscar for best performance by a romance author goes to… Danielle Jacobs!” I laughed, closing the front door and locking it. I was not in the mood to deal with Lousy Lisa and her antics again today.
“I’d like to thank my adoring fans and my brilliant mind for coming up with such amazing character emotion on the spot,” she said with a theatrical bow.
“Seriously, thank you for saving me from her wrath today.” We both made our way into the living room, slumping down on the couch. “I just don’t have the energy for it.”
“So let’s talk about something better! Hottie Mc-Steamy neighbor man! Let’s talk about him!”
“Oh God, no. Please. I just said I don’t have energy. He’s the last thing I want to talk about.” I groaned, holding my head in my hands.
“Why not? He’s gorgeous! I mean, with all that mystery and that gorgeous body? He is total book boyfriend material.” She giggled, settling back into the couch cushions.
“He is not.”
“Um, yes, he is. That hair? Those eyes? Hell, he even has the whole book boyfriend door jamb lean thing down!”
“What the fuck are you talking about?” I looked at her, utterly confused.
