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“Perfect,” she said, groaning as she trudged her way through the mudroom and into the kitchen.
“In the pot, already brewed and ready for you.” I chuckled as she rolled her eyes up to the heavens and made a gesture like she was thanking God for the gift of caffeine. “Long night?”
“The longest. Those little monsters, Pad Thai and Egg Roll, kept me up all night.” She explained, her frustration clear as she spoke through gritted teeth.
“Their names are Wonton and Kimchi,” I corrected her, rolling my eyes at her antics.
“Whatever. Who names dogs Wonton and Kimchi?” she scoffed derisively. “Pomeranian devil dogs.” I couldn’t help but laugh in response. Theywerelittle terrorists, truth be told, up barking at all hours of the night for the entire neighborhood to hear.
“Earplugs work wonders, you know,” I said, chiding her playfully.
“Getting rid of the little nuisances would work better.” A decidedly inappropriate groan of satisfaction interrupted her grumbled words as she sipped her cup of coffee.
“Be nice.” Yet another eye roll was her only answer to my scolding.
“What are we doing again?” she asked, eyeing the ingredients I had laid out.
“Baking muffins for the new neighbor, as well as a pie for Jamie later this evening.”
“Oh, right! You know, I’ve been thinking...” she said in a mischievous tone.
“Never a good ideawhere you’re concerned,” I retorted.
“Whatever. Anyway, as I was saying, about the new neighbors. I think there’s something we don’t know going on there.”
“Danielle, they arenewneighbors. None of us knows anything about them.”
“Yes, but don’t you think it’s strange they moved in the middle of the night? That hasmysterywritten all over it.” She wiggled her fingers comically as she saidmystery.
“I think your imagination is too wild, that’s what I think.” I laughed, and she grew quiet as her thoughts obviously began to run.
“Do you think I’d go to jail for nut-punching a man?” Danielle asked suddenly, a quizzical look on her face.
“Where the hell did that come from?” I chuckled.
“Some guy at the bar last night hit on me, and I seriously considered nut-punching him into next week,” she said with a shrug.
“And you think I’m the person to ask about the legalities of such a thing?”
I don’t know. I guess I figured you’d know better than me. I have a feeling you know more about putting men in their place than I do.”
“Well, nut-punching isn’t exactly good protocol in general, Danielle.” I shot her a look, my eyebrow arching as I chided her playfully. “Outside of that, I have no idea what kind of penalty or punishment you would incur.”
“Oh, I’m pretty sure there are plenty of men out there who would beg for a good nut-punch.” Her tinkling laughter had me shaking my head.
“That is a different thing entirely.”
“Is it though?” She touched her fingers to her chin, looking at me quizzically.
“Consent is a very key factor here. Simply nut-punching a man for being a stupid alpha-male is not proper protocol or procedure.”
“Protocol-schmotocol.” It was my turn to roll my eyes as she scoffed. “It doesn’t matter, anyway. I excused myself and left, ghosting him like a lady.”
“Cheers to that!” We tapped our mugs together with a clink, waiting for the muffins to finish in the oven.
“Fucking men.” Danielle scoffed.
“Hell yes, fucking men,” I agreed with a grin.
