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“Because there are rules and protocols in place on what we may share between play partners. Some don’t want their sexual details shared,” Jamie explained for me.
“I suppose you have a point, but I’m still a little bummed. I want to know about Mr. Hot Neighbor and his kinky debauchery at the hands of our Sexy Sadie, here.” Danielle chuckled, raising her own glass of wine in my direction.
“Are you okay, Sadie?” Jamie asked.
“I’ll be alright,” I said with a shrug.
“You don’t look alright. Did it not go well? I’m not pressing for details, but I want to make sure you’re okay. That’s my job as your husband.” The concern in Jamie’s voice was heartfelt, and it should have soothed me to some extent, as it usually did. But tonight, I wasn’t sure anything would soothe the jittery anxiety and overwhelming emotions that threatened to tear me apart.
“I’m okay, just…. confused.”
“Well, how did it go, then?” Danielle asked, reiterating Jamie’s previous question.
“I don’t know, honestly.”
“We’re here to listen.” Danielle reached her hand across the counter, squeezing mine in comfort. I gave her a small smile, but it was half-assed at best.
“It’s just so complicated and I feel… unnerved. Unsettled.”
“Is this something you want to talk in private about?” Jamie asked, looking at me pointedly.
“No, but yes. But no.”
“I do not know what that means,” Danielle said matter-of-factly, looking a bit lost.
“Is this a conversation for you and me, or is it maybe a conversation for you and Pamela?” Jamie asked.
“I don’t know. Fuck, I don’t know anything.” I huffed out a heavy breath, taking a long drink of my wine, wishing the buzz would hit a little faster and a lot harder.
“Sadie, love. Call Pamela. I’m not sure I’ve ever seen you like this, and I want you to have the safe space to process it, whatever it is.” Part of me wanted to dismiss his advice, to simply hide away and wait for the feelings to dissipate.
“You may be right, Jamie.” I sighed, feeling the weight of the world on my shoulders.
“I’ll take that as my cue to leave. Sadie, I’m sorry I was overbearing tonight, but you know you can always talk to me. I’m here for you.” Danielle gave me a smile as she made her way back out of the back door and off to her own home. I appreciated her support, but right now, I just couldn’t talk about it. I didn’t have the words.
“Call Pamela, love. I’ll be upstairs in the bedroom when you’re done.” Jamie pulled me to his side, kissing the top of my forehead before turning away with a soft smile. He truly was the most supportive and understanding of husbands.
I pulled out my phone, finding Pamela’s contact and dialing.
“Hello,” Pamela answered, her voice scratchy and sleepy. I looked at the clock.Shit.
“Oh, fuck. It’s like four in the morning. I’m sorry Pamela, I’ll call you tomorrow when it’s a more appropriate time. Sorry.” I went to hang up the phone, but she cut me off.
“Luxe.” She spoke my title in a completely dominating tone, taking control of the conversation.
“Yes, Miss Vix?” I answered obediently. Pamela was the only woman I had ever been submissive to. She had trained me to be the Domme I was today, starting me off as a submissive and teaching me the ropes until I came into my own as a Dominant.
“If you are calling me at this hour, it’s important. You’re not a sloppy person who doesn’t think about the time — that is, unless something is wrong. Spill. Now.” It was not a suggestion, it was an outright demand. One I would obey.
“I had a scene with someone new tonight.” I blurted the words out in a rush.
“And?”
“And it was…” My words trailed off. I didn’t know what to say about it. I did not know where to even begin.
“It was good? It was bad? Give me something here, Luxe.”
“It was everything,” I finally whispered, admitting the truth that hung at the edge of my thoughts and on the tip of my tongue.
