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Iwoke with a start to Leo’s jerky movements. He’d warned me he was a restless sleeper, but the groan ripped from his lungs made it clear he was in the throes of a nightmare.
“Leo. Leo, wake up.”
His entire body tensed as if he was imprisoned in a fight. Putting my hand on his chest, I could feel his heart racing. I shook him slightly. “Leo, honey, wake up.”
One minute he was in the throes of the nightmare, the next I found myself flipped on my back with his hands wrapped around my throat, squeezing my air supply. “Leo,” I gasped, fighting against him. But his gaze was unfocused, his body locked in fight mode.
“Leo, please.” I could feel my vision start to blur.
Suddenly the pressure released, and I was left coughing and gasping for air. Quickly, I scrambled up to a sitting position.
“What the fuck?” Leo cursed, backing away, his eyes wide.
“I think you were having a nightmare. I tried to wake you.” My hands flew to my throat, feeling the tender flesh.
“Fucking hell, Addy. I’m so sorry.”
“It’s okay. It was just…unexpected.” My voice was a whisper as I fought through the shock of the moment.
“The hell it’s okay.” He scrambled out of the bed and flipped on the bedside lamp. He wouldn’t make eye contact with me but instead busily gathered his sweatpants and pulled them on.
“What are you doing?”
“I need to go.”
“What? No. Talk to me. Please. Explain what happened.”
He finally stopped and locked his gaze with mine. “I had my fucking hands around your throat choking you. I could’ve really hurt you. Could’ve killed you.”
I refused to believe it. “You wouldn’t have. You didn’t.”
He shook his head, his jaw locked. “I should’ve known better.”
“Known better about what?” Wait, was this why he hadn’t wanted to share a bed? “Do you have these nightmares often?”
He acted like he hadn’t heard me, stalking out of the bedroom. I got up and followed him into his master bedroom.
“Leo, please talk to me.” It felt like I was losing him.
He came out of his walk-in closet with a bag halfway packed.
“Where are you going?”
“Away. I never should’ve done this. Was never fit to be a husband or father.”
Maybe I was the one having the nightmare. This could not be happening. “What are you saying?”
He stopped, his shoulders drooping, his gaze barely meeting mine. “Don’t you see? I have no choice. What if I hadn’t stopped tonight? What if I’d fallen asleep in bed with our child some day and had the same reaction?”
My stomach dropped.
“I’m so sorry, Addy. I was a fool to think I could ever earn a future with you. You deserve so much better.”
Desperation crawled up my throat. “What do you mean? Why are you leaving? We can work this out.”
“No, we can’t. This isn’t the arrangement you signed up for.”
“Fuck the arrangement. This is more. You said so yourself.”
