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Ellie sets her wine aside to pull a soft throw blanket from the chest beside her couch, and she tosses it to me. We cozy up, curling our legs beneath us on our couches as we pick at the popcorn set on the corner of the coffee table.
In the background, Anthony Michael Hall defines the old-school categories that make up high school student personalities. And at the same time, Ellie and I break down each of our classes and the professors.
“You think we’ll get a play or musical for Dramatization and Emotional Acting?” I ask as we deconstruct the curriculum and how it will require a performance at the semester’s end.
“Definitely a play,” Ellie says confidently. “Just based on the content she has us reading, right?”
“Hmm, good point,” I agree.
It’s nice to be spending time with my friend, performing all the old routines that we used to do when we would stay up late, watch movies, and talk for hours about stuff. And despite the frustration I’ve felt over Cassio’s sudden reappearance in my life, I’m feeling relaxed and happy.
“So?” Ellie says, breaking a moment of contented silence. “What’s your dating life looking like these days?” she asks innocently, glancing at me from the corner of her eye as she runs a finger around the rim of her wine glass.
I scoff. “Same old, same old. Nothing to report here. But what about you? You and Lucca have been dating fortwoyears now. That’s a good run.”
I fight to maintain my expression as I push aside my sudden melancholy at knowing this is the first time in two years we’ve had a conversation like this. It just goes to show how big of a wedge a guy can drive between two friends–with a single kiss.
Ellie beams, her eyes lighting with affection as she thinks of her boyfriend. “Yeah, I’m kind of crazy about him,” she confesses, her cheeks growing pink.
I gasp. “Have you two said the L word yet?”
The noise that escapes her is something of a choked giggle, and she blushes darker.
“You have, haven’t you!” I gush, sitting forward in my chair.
Ellie nods. “I think we’re getting pretty serious, Bianka.”
“And you’ve…?” I smile playfully as I wiggle my eyebrows.
Giggling, Ellie blushes. “Yeah, we’ve definitely had a lot of sex.”
“I’m not surprised after watching the way you two make out.”
“Hey!” Ellie objects. “It’s not like we spend all our time kissing in front of you.”
I raise an eyebrow, my lips twisting into a smirk, but I don’t say a word.
“Okay, fine. But he’s such a good kisser.” Ellie gets a dreamy look as her eyes shift to the middle distance. “I have to say, Lucca knows what he’s doing when it comes to turning me on. He just… wants to make me happy, and I can feel it every time we touch.”
A hollow ache fills my chest as I long for that same feeling. To know what it’s like to be with a man, to have him hold and cherish me as he sets my soul on fire. But no one has sparked my interest since Cassio. Here I am, nearly done with my college career, where people are supposed to explore and have fun, and I can’t bring myself to want someone who actually wants me too.
I push the sore subject from my mind, refocusing on Ellie and Lucca. “You think your relationship will stick even though your family isn’t influential in the mob?”
I’ve wondered that for a while since, often, mafia children are expected to marry more for advantage than love. Even I feel pressure as Ilya’s sister to do right by my family. However, Ilya’s never gone so far as to suggest arranging something for me.
On the other hand, it seems that his reputation as pakhan has already forcibly kept me a virgin. Marrying into his Bratva or another’s might be the only way I can avoid becoming a spinster.
Ellie’s eyes shine softly as she considers her boyfriend. “Lucca doesn’t care about that. Honestly, Bianka, I think he might be the one.”
“Aw. You deserve that.” My heart squeezes with happiness for Ellie at the same time as my own predicament leaves me feeling hopeless.
My soul sister gives me a warm smile, her eyes meeting mine. “Thanks. You deserve that too. You know, speaking of which, I thought I might have seen a spark of something between you and Cassio in class the other day…” she prods, wriggling her eyebrows. “You know, when you ‘fell’ into his arms.” She uses air quotes to emphasize her point.
“No,” I state flatly. I refuse to admit that the feel of his arms around me had turned my insides to mush, that I almost forgot my line. “And Ididfall,” I insist. “He just about yanked my real dress off along with the skirt because he’s an inconsiderate ass.”
Ellie’s eyes go round, and silence fills the room. “Okay, I just don’t get it. Will you please explain why you hate him so much? I mean, when I first met him, I thought you seemed really into Cassio, and he seemed to like you too. He carried our shopping bags out to your car, for Christ’s sake! And then, when you introduced me to Lucca, I thought you two seemed extra cozy together. Seriously, when Lucca kissed me that night, I actually thought we might each end up dating a twin–you know, besties dating brothers. It would have been so cool! But since then, it’s just been radio silence between you two. What happened? It’s as if you two were drawn together like magnets, and then one of your polarizations reversed.”
“Wow, Ellie. You’ve been spending too much time around Lucca. Did I just hear a science simile come out of your mouth?” I tease, trying to distract her from her line of questioning.
