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And then Ellie’s eyes meet mine, and I can see the confusion there. The regret. Bianka must not have told her about any of this before, so of course, Ellie was willing to help me see Bianka tonight. Another sin I need to pay penance for.
But I know my father, and I couldn’t see a safe way to ensure Bianka’s future back then. What I hadn’t realized was that Bianka’s feelings for me had been so strong. Suddenly, her intense anger over this past week comes into perfect focus. Reinserting myself in her life had been egotistical and presumptuous after having stayed away with no explanation.
I’m such an idiot.In trying to protect her, I managed to hurt Bianka more than I ever could have imagined. And it destroys me to hear she’s still so upset. But it also strengthens my resolve to earn her forgiveness.
I remain rigid, unmoving, my legs straddling the windowsill, one hand braced against the frame with my shoulders tipped inside the room, as I wait for her tirade to end. Because I want to hear it all–every one of my horrid crimes.
I might not be able to go back and fix my mistake, but I can at least prove to Bianka that, in my mind, kissing her was the farthest thing from a game. I don’t want to stop her, though, before she’s done breathing life into all the pain I’ve caused her.
Bianka slowly rises from her chair, a throw pillow clutched to her chest, and I soak in the adorable sight of her dressed in casual clothes–something I’ve never had the privilege of viewing before. She always dresses up, modeling glamorous, high-fashion outfits, so seeing her in a plain white tee and some tantalizingly short pajama shorts make my heart skip a beat.
When our eyes meet, however, I know I’m in trouble. I don’t dare move because she looks torn between the desire to murder me or flee, and I’m sure nothing I do will help avoid either result. An awkward moment of silence lingers as we all remain motionless, unsure of what comes next, then Lucca shifts uncomfortably beside me.
“Maybe Lucca and I should just give you two a moment….” Ellie suggests hesitantly.
Lucca eagerly jumps into action, sliding the rest of the way into the room to join his girlfriend and remove himself from the painful scene. I take the opportunity to slowly ease my second leg inside the apartment and stand.
“No,” Bianka commands bluntly, freezing everyone in place once again. “I’m sorry, Ellie. I must have misunderstood. When you said sleepover, I thought you meant a girls’ night.” Her tone is cold and rigid, the anger draining away to make room for the bitter resentment I’ve grown familiar with over this past week.
Ellie’s shoulders slump. “Bianka, it’s not like–”
“No, no. It’s fine.” Bianka cuts her off with a raised hand even as her eyes remain locked on mine. “It’s my bad for assuming. I’ll go. Lucca can stay. And, Cassio, you can drop dead.”
The venom in her last sentence pierces straight to my heart as Bianka throws her pillow down onto the couch. Then she storms through the apartment toward the front door, seeming unafraid to leave dressed in nothing but her booty-short pajamas and T-shirt if it means getting away from me.
She doesn’t even take the time to put on shoes as she snatches her fashionable purse up off the floor and flees. I don’t have time to waste. She’s out the door so quickly that if I hesitate, I’ll lose her for sure. Ellie objects as I race across the room after Bianka, ready to defend her friend now that she realizes what a complete ass I am.
I don’t stop to hear her out. I need to make things right.Now.This might be the last chance I get to speak to Bianka. Following her into the hall risks exposing us since we’re in a student housing complex. My father has eyes and ears all over the school who might blab that Bianka and I were seen together late at night.
But I can’t let her go. Not after what I heard.
Wrenching open the door, I peer down the hall and find Bianka standing in front of the elevator bank, her arms crossed defensively over her chest, her shoulders rounded in defeat. She looks far more sad than angry now that she’s not subjected to our scrutinizing gazes, and my heart aches anew at knowing it’s my fault. I caused her pain.
“Bianka,” I murmur, closing the distance between us in three long strides. “Come back inside so we can talk. Please,” I beg, keeping my voice low so no one will hear us and choose to investigate.
“No. You need to leave me alone, Cassio,” she says flatly, her eyes locked on the elevator doors. She doesn’t even try to be quiet. “I don’t want to talk to you. Ever. Just go away.”
A door opens down the way, making my pulse kick up a notch as someone leans into the hall. Grabbing Bianka’s wrist, I pull her into the stairwell next to the elevators before the nosey neighbor can see us together.
“Don’t touch me,” Bianka hisses as she snatches her arm away, her eyes blazing with resentment. Then she spins on her heel and darts down the stairs.
“Bianka, wait,” I plead, following as she runs from me yet again.
She doesn’t stop or even slow to look back as she refuses to let me speak in my own defense. She’s faster than I would have given her credit for in bare feet and with far shorter legs than mine. Her feet patter softly against the cold, hard stairs, moving with impressive agility, but even in her desperation, she won’t outrun me. And I can’t just let her go.
I catch up to her on the second-floor landing, grabbing her upper arm and spinning her around to face me. Bianka refuses to come quietly. She struggles, shoving forcefully against my chest as she tries to fight me off. Snarls of frustration escape her when I maintain my grip, and her fists pummel my chest uselessly as she glares a hole through my heart.
“Just–stop–would you… just let meexplain!” I demand as I try to hold on without hurting her.
Her hand catches me by surprise as it flies out of nowhere and slaps me across the face. For a moment, she seems almost as shocked as I am that she hit me, and then a look of deep satisfaction fills her eyes.
She tries again, aiming for my other cheek, and I grab her wrists, restraining her by crossing her arms over her chest as I use my body to shove her backward, pinning her to the stairwell’s cement wall.
Our eyes lock, and for a moment, our lips align as I press close, trapping her with all of my body to avoid holding her too hard. Her breath gasps across my face as she tips her chin defiantly, and then her lips brush across mine.
It could have been an accident, but my brain shortcircuits the instant our lips meet, and I lean into the kiss, heart pounding forcefully as she doesn’t resist. As if struck by lightning, my body comes crackling to life.
And then I’m left in charred ruins as Bianka seems to remember herself. “No!” she gasps, jerking away.
