AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Silvia’s struck expression tells me she never expected to hear an apology leave my lips, and that wrenches my gut. Because–while I mean every word of it–she’s probably not wrong. I would never have apologized if I didn’t know it was a necessary step to meeting my end goal.
Swallowing down the bitter taste in my mouth, I press forward with my confession. “I was mad about being forced into a marriage and chose to take it out on you. It wasn’t right. I see that now, and I regret any of my actions that have hurt you.”
Speechless, her lips part slightly as if to say something, but no response comes out.
“So what I’m trying to say is I’m sorry. I hope you can forgive me,” I finish, forcing myself to maintain eye contact, though my guilt is making it near impossible to meet her eye.
Relief breaks across her face like the sun rising, and a warm smile curves her full lips. “Thank you. You don’t know how much that means to me,” she murmurs, a hint of emotion tightening her voice.
And because I can’t help myself any longer, I gently stroke the backs of my knuckles along her sculpted cheek. Silvia’s eyelids sink closed, and her tongue darts out to wet her lips.
Before I can think better of it, I lean in, capturing her mouth in a passionate kiss. This time, she doesn’t hesitate to invite me in. Leaning forward into my chest, Silvia parts her lips to caress mine with the tip of her tongue.
Intense, burning need roars through my veins. Cradling her face, I pull her closer, deepening the kiss. She tastes like vanilla and honey, and her soft, gasping pants set my body on fire. Our tongues dance together, exploring each other’s mouths before withdrawing.
And only after we’ve kissed each other breathlessly can I bring myself to draw back. When Silvia opens her eyes, her pupils are dilated, and my heart beats faster, knowing I did that to her.
She releases a breathy giggle as a contagious smile spreads across her face.
“What?” I ask, my own lips curving upward.
She shakes her head. “It’s nothing, just… I feel like our parents might actually have made a better arrangement than I had anticipated.”
I release a throaty chuckle.
I feel it too.
But it tears me apart to know that while my feelings for Silvia are real and growing, I have a duty to perform. Because I can’t finish this weekend without taking her virginity. And knowing I have an ulterior motive taints my attraction with an ugly dishonesty that leaves me fighting self-disgust.
For the first time, I realize I genuinely want to be with Silvia. I yearn to be intimate with her, to make her mine. But taking her virginity just to “ruin her,” as my mother so crassly put it, makes the whole thing feel dirty. Wrong.
Then again, it would be no worse than what I’ve already done to Silvia… and god, what I wouldn’t give to spend a night with her in my arms.
15
SILVIA
“Wait, you carry your art book with you everywhere?” Pyotr asks.
His arm’s draped around my back. My head rests on his shoulder as we sit in the sweet little gazebo, looking out at the trees. We’ve been out here for hours, and I imagine it’s nearing lunchtime. But the conversation has continued to flow so effortlessly, our connection seeming to grow exponentially since he explained why he’s been so mean.
I don’t want it to end.
“Well, obviously, I didn’t bring it out here to the woods.” Though it’s not a half-bad idea. This space has so many striking landscapes to try and capture. “But I brought it to New York with me. It’s in my luggage at the house.”
“Would you let me see your art?”
A tingle of nerves races up the back of my spine. I’ve only really ever shown my art to my family and at school. Revealing it to Pyotr would be exposing myself to him in a way I haven’t done before. And at the same time, excitement roils in my belly to know he wants to see my work.
“Sure,” I agree, lifting my head to look at him.
“Well then, I feel fully rested. Ready for a ride back to the stables?”
I honestly don’t know that I am. My legs feel like rubber, and my sit bones are bruised from my pretty gray mare’s ambling gait. But we need to get back some time, and I’m sure my troubles won’t be solved in the next hour or so.
But I smile at his enthusiasm driving the question. “Definitely,” I agree.
Still, I hobble a little as I take my first few steps.
