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“No. I am saying it is never going to be a true remedy.”
“What…what else am I to do then? Let the whole house hear me? Let all of the ton talk of me? Laugh at me?” She hung her head, the grip on her dress tightening.
“Verity.”
She glanced up at me, her eyes shining but not a single tear shed. “Do you find it disturbing?”
“Find what?”
“That the woman you like is…ill, like this.”
I frowned. “Did you not hear me? Almost everyone has some ailment. Why would I find this disturbing?”
Her chest rose and fell as she let out a deep breath…this was dangerous. “Verity, you ought to return to your rooms now.”
“Theodore.” She said my name, and again I had to press down my feelings…the pangs of lust were rushing to the surface. She did not know how tempting even the simplest words from her lips were.
“I beg of you, please go,” I truly begged, for too much had been said already between us.
“I cannot.”
“Verity, our conversation goes beyond—”
“Decency, yes I know, but so does this moment,” she whispered and my heart quaked. “Since we are already beyond that I will say it: I wish to understand your feelings and more of mine.”
Once more my mind told me this could not be real…and yet. I could see the determination in her eyes.
“It is not something I could ever explain in words, Verity…”
“Then by action?” she questioned. “If so, show me.”
And I had to keep myself from groaning. Dante clearly forgot to mention this level of hell, or was this purgatory?
“Verity.”
“Show me.”
Fine, if I was to be damned, I might as well not hold back.
I placed my hand on her cheek and…and I leaned in, pressing my lips against hers quickly. It was so short but the moment her lips touched mine I felt myself…harden. She stared up at me wide-eyed.
Fuck.
“Forgive me—”
She leaned in and pressed her lips tentatively to mine for only a few seconds before sitting back.
“You ought not have done that.” I shook my head.
“I felt a sensation and I wished to see if it would happen twice.”
“Did it?”
“Yes.”
Dear God, forgive me, I thought and pulled her up into my arms, kissing her gently at first, allowing her to get comfortable with my lips upon hers. When her hands rested on my chest I deepened our kiss, my tongue sliding into her mouth, one hand cradling her neck the other on her ass. All too soon she copied me, and her tongue rolled over mine as well. With every second I felt myself growing harder. My hands moved underneath her robe to lift up her nightgown.
Theodore, stop! You fool, you must stop! sanity screamed in my mind but I could not bear to. I wanted more. I needed more. I needed her.
STOP! Immediately upon touching her bare thighs I did.
I broke away from her slowly. She stared at me with lustful eyes, her luscious lips just barely parted, her chest rising and falling as she desperately drew air into her lungs.
Only then, staring at her, did I…quickly let go completely, taking three steps back and placing my hands over my eyes.
“Fuck.” I wanted to scream curses into the air. However, I could never allow anyone to know of this.
“Theodore—”
“Return to your room now,” I snapped at her. “Verity, go. Make sure no one sees you. I have made a terrible mistake. Go.”
“But, Theodore—”
“I cannot speak to you right now.”
She said not another word before taking her leave. It was only when she was gone that I placed my hands on my head and sank down to the floor.
How could I have done this? How could I have crossed this line? In another’s home no less, for all the damned hells!
I was a fool, a fiend, and a villain.
And my desire to do even worse was still raging within.
Verity
I had wished to stay with him but the look on his face, as though he were holding back out of fear he would devour me whole, compelled me to leave more than his words did. My body…tingled. It had started from my lips, where we kissed, and spread all over me like fire. A fire that did not burn, but brought warmth…and I…wished for more. Even now, being separated felt as though I had been tossed out the door into the cold. My mind felt as if it were in the sky, each step I took back up the stairs felt as though I were floating.
“What were you doing?” said Hathor from the doorway, managing to both whisper and yell at me.
I stared at her wide-eyed. “Why were you in my room?”
She glanced around to make sure no others were awake before taking my arm and leading me inside.
“I came to see if you were all right, but you were not here. What were you doing?”
