Page 112 of The Coldest Winter


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So now I would like to give you some motherly advice to help you through your years to come. And oh, how I hope they are the most colorful years of your life, filled with so much comfort and joy.

Tips from Mama:

Eat your vegetables. I know Brussels sprouts are gross, but they are good for you. And make sure you floss every single night. Okay, every other night. I don’t want to push it.

Forgive your father. I know how soft his heart is, so I worry that it will harden when I’m gone. Take care of each other when you can, and still love him when you can’t. Being human is a messy thing and hardships will show up, but do know that even on his weak days, his love for you is strong. Please remember his best days when he’s showing you his worst.

Make new friends and hold on to the old ones who were patient while you healed. Hold them a little tighter than others. And when they need you, show up for them. Be their pillar as they were yours.

Fall in love. Please, do this and allow it to be messy. Fall in love fast, and deeply. Fight for said love and be love’s anchor. Allow yourself the space to feel things deeply. Say the words I love you as much as you can. You never know when it will be the last time, and I’d rather you drown a person in love than let the moments quietly pass you by.

This might be the most important part of it all. Love yourself, Milo. Please, please, please love yourself. There is no one more deserving to witness your love than the person who’s staring back at you in the mirror.

Attached is the last recipe card I have for you. I hope they have brought you comfort in some of your most trying times. All that I ask is that you make this one on a Sunday and sit in a room filled with all the people you love. I want you to eat, and enjoy the meal, and laugh, and joke, and be alive.

Be alive, Milo. Live.

I want you to make your own life recipes. Create unique memories in your own special way. Expand yourself. Try new things. Fail. Try again. You’re the most remarkable son I’ve ever had the blessing to know, and I know whatever you do with your life, it will be delicious.

Con amore, figlio mio. Con amore,

Mama

I opened the recipe card and pulled out the one for Mom’s famous Sunday gravy sauce. The sauce she used to cook for hours to feed all our loved ones. My chest felt tight as I muttered to myself. “Thanks, Mom.”

The ceremony felt as if it was taking forever, and we were only through the letter M. How many damn people had last names that started with M? I kept looking back up to the bleachers to see if Starlet was there, but I couldn’t find her again. It must’ve simply been my imagination playing tricks on me.

“So you’re telling me you graduated today, think you saw your hot ex-girlfriend, the love of your life, in the crowd after building her a bike with her dad, and you decided you wanted to come to eat ice cream with grumpy Henry and me instead of going to see her?” Bobby asked me as we sat in the ice cream parlor.

“Yeah, pretty much.”

“That’s stupid,” Bobby said matter-of-factly. “You make bad life choices.”

I chuckled a little. “I thought Henry was the brutally honest one.”

“I am,” Henry agreed. “But the kid’s right. You’re a dumbass.”

“Harsh,” I said, shoving ice cream into my mouth.

“We’re just your honest friends. Everyone needs honest friends,” Bobby explained.

“Okay. Lay it out for me. Tell me like it is.”

Bobby cleared his throat. “Okay, but you asked for it. I think it’s stupid that you thought you had to push someone away to figure out your crap. My mom always said that the point of love was so people didn’t have to do the happy or sad stuff alone. And here you are, choosing to do it alone. That’s stupid.”

I parted my mouth to give him a rebuttal, but nothing came to mind, so I kept stuffing my mouth with ice cream.

“The kid’s right, you bonehead,” Henry agreed. “I don’t even know why you’re still sitting here.”

“My dad had to run a few errands before he picks me up from here for my graduation dinner, so I’m pretty much stranded. Plus, if I was daydreaming about seeing her there, then she’s already back in Chicago staying with her dad for the summer.”

“Uber, Milo. Take a freaking Uber,” Bobby said as if it was the easiest thing in the world.

I laughed. “To Chicago?”

“Yeah. And leave a good tip,” Henry ordered.

“It’s really easy. Are you sure you graduated from high school today? You’re acting dumb,” Bobby said.

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