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“Look at this one,” Milo said, hurrying over with his camera in hand. He had a tiny smile on his mouth, showing pride in the photograph, and the moment I saw it, I understood why.
“Wow!” I expressed, stunned by his artistic eye for detail.
“You like?”
“I love.”
His smile grew.
He cleared his throat.
He looked away.
He, too, got bashful.
What did that mean about us? Us? As if that could ever be a possibility.
I rubbed my hand against my chest and shook my head. “Should we keep going? We should almost be at the caves.”
“Yeah, for sure. Let’s go.”
We continued the hike, and once we made it to the ice caves, the mere amazement stole my breath away. “Oh my goodness,” I breathed out, feeling my eyes fill with emotions.
“Wow,” Milo muttered, just as stunned as I was.
Ice crystals hung from the ice caves over our heads. The walls and ceilings of the cave were polished and smooth, with an opaque tone to them. Various shades of blue, green, and white were found throughout the large caves. It was remarkable. I hadn’t even known tears were rolling down my cheeks as I studied the unique formations of the frozen tunnels. You could see where the waterfalls had frozen over, too, which created these intriguing situations that were pure artwork.
When I turned toward Milo, he already had his camera out, and I was taken aback when I saw him pointing it toward me.
I parted my lips to argue with him about taking my photo, but then I smiled and allowed it. A part of me wanted to remember this moment. I wanted to recall today for the rest of my life.
He then walked over toward me and snapped a few photos of the two of us together. We smiled, we made goofy faces, and we laughed. We let go of any worries we carried within us that afternoon. We allowed ourselves to have fun together. I danced in the caves and felt freer than I’d felt in a long time. Milo smiled more than I’d ever seen him smile.
I felt as if that was him. The real him. The version of him that’d been sleeping for so long.
It was an honor to see him awaken. I silently prayed he wouldn’t fall asleep again anytime soon.
When it was time to leave, I took a deep breath and stared at the otherworldly beauty of the frozen landscape surrounding us.
“Do you ever wish you could freeze time?” I asked Milo.
“I do today.”
I turned toward him to find his stare on me. His eyes were so sincere that I almost cried solely from his gaze.
“Are you happy today?” I asked.
His smile deepened. “I’m happy today. Are you happy today?”
“I’m happy today.”
“Good. Let’s head back and get you some hot cocoa. I’m nervous that your nose will fall off, Rudolph.”
We began the two-mile hike back to our car, stopping every now and again to take in the chilled air. When I told Milo that my mother would’ve loved the views, he told me he was proud of me for being brave enough to hike again.
Hearing him say he was proud of me did something to my soul. It was as if his pride in me meant more than anything to my spirit.
I was proud of myself, too.
I hope you are, too, Mom.
And I hoped that wherever she was, she could see the ice caves and all of their beauty. I hoped my mother ended up somewhere with hiking trails galore and could explore them all. I hoped she was able to laugh, jump, skip, and run through the wilderness the same way I’d been able to do that afternoon.
“I feel her in the wind,” I confessed to Milo when we finished the hike. “I know it sounds stupid, but I feel her in the wind.”
“Nothing about that is stupid,” he disagreed. “I feel my mom in the sun.”
Who knew two opposites could have so much in common?
When we made it to the car, we unloaded our equipment into the trunk. We were parked between trees in a somewhat isolated area. It seemed most of the travelers that day had already headed out since the sun was beginning to set.
Once finished, Milo shut the trunk, and I headed to the driver’s side of the car to slide inside.
“I thought about kissing you,” Milo confessed before I opened the door. I paused before looking up toward him, thinking perhaps I imagined the words that left his mouth. He took a few steps toward me. “I know we’re supposed to pretend that what happened between us never happened between us, but after today, after watching you be the most real version of you, I can’t bullshit my way through this.”
“Mi—”
“I thought about kissing you so much that it’s about all that consumed my thoughts the moment we reached the ice caves.”
