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I sighed because I thought about it, too. I thought about it so much over the past few weeks that the thoughts of him and his mouth, his lips, and his tongue haunted my dreams. Some nights, I’d close my eyes and try to remember what it felt like that night we were strangers, yet it felt like everything for a short period. Some nights, I’d pretend he was lying in my bed with me.
I hated myself for wanting his touch so badly. Why did I crave something so wrong for me? I’d always done the right thing. I’d never misbehaved. I was a straitlaced individual who always walked down the right path. I never faltered. Yet when it came to Milo Corti, all I wanted was more. More of his looks, more of his smiles, more, more, more…
“You don’t have to explain to me why I can’t kiss you, Star. I get it. I’m not a dumbass, and I’d never want to put you or your job at risk. But after seeing you today, seeing you free, I just wanted you to realize you are everything I’d ever want in a person, and if I could, I would kiss you for the rest of my life without a second of hesitation or doubt.”
He stepped closer to me. With each step, my heart skipped a few beats. Whatever. A fully beating heart wasn’t a life requirement.
His eyes locked with mine, and I couldn’t look away, even if I wanted to. He did that to me. He hooked me in and made me stay.
“I was thinking…maybe I’m not able to kiss you…but maybe, just maybe...” He swallowed hard and seemed so nervous, so timid. “Maybe we can be friends?”
“Friends?” I choked out, my mind spinning to thoughts of only his lips.
“Yes, friends.”
My back was against my car, yet he kept approaching me. So close that his tall, broad frame hovered over mine. I felt small yet safe. I was boxed in by the boy who should’ve never grown that close. It didn’t feel like a friendship. It felt the opposite of friendship. It felt…wild. Exciting. Exhilarating.
I shut my eyes. “Milo…I-I don’t think I’m supposed to be friends with students.”
“But you want to be.”
I want to be.
Oh, how I want to be.
“We…I, we can’t...” I stuttered, opening my eyes to find his brownish greens on mine. Why did his eyes have to do that? Make me feel everything all at once?
“Secret friends?” he offered.
I laughed but felt the tears behind my eyes.
No part of me wanted to be his friend.
Every inch craved so much more.
“Okay,” I agreed. “Secret friends.”
He moved in closer. His mouth lingered by my ear, his hot breaths melting against me. “I always wanted a friend like you.”
I tilted my head up, and a small smile crept across my lips. “Do friends always stand this close to one another?”
“Secret friends do. It’s what secret friends do the best.”
“What else do secret friends do?”
His stare dropped, and his hands somehow became entangled with mine. “Secret friends hold hands.”
“Milo.”
“I don’t make the rules, Star.”
“It sure sounds like you do.”
I stared at him as his tongue slightly grazed across his bottom lip as he stared at my mouth. I should’ve pushed him away. I should’ve told him how irresponsible we were acting. I should’ve used my brain. Yet my heart took the lead, completely shutting my brain off.
I pulled him closer.
And closer.
And closer…
My chest lay against his, our bodies so close that I struggled to know where he began and where I ended. So close that his touch felt like my own.
“What else?” I whispered. “What else do secret friends do?”
He placed one hand on the top of my car and inched his face closer. His lips swept against mine as my heart rate intensified. His eyes were dilated, and I was certain his thoughts were as absurd as my own. Packed with wants, needs, and desires. And sins…
So many quiet sins were begging to be unleashed.
“Secret friends do whatever they want, and the world would never know.”
“Like this?” I asked, gently sliding my tongue against his bottom lip.
No, Star…
His tongue parted my mouth before he nibbled on my bottom lip. “Like that.”
It’s wrong…
His eyes closed as he pressed his forehead against mine. “Star, if you don’t want this, I’ll pull away. If you don’t want me, I’ll let you go. But if any part of you does, then say yes, and the moment after that yes, I’m going to take all of you inside the back of your Jeep.”
I knew what I should’ve said.
I knew the words that should’ve left my mouth, but they didn’t come. The saint in me was silent as my bad side was released.
“Take all of me,” I whimpered.
Within seconds, Milo’s mouth crashed against mine. He kissed me as if he’d been waiting decades to do so. His lips on mine were all I wanted, all I craved for the longest time. He opened the back door of my car and pulled me inside. We scrambled, tossing off layer after layer of clothing but leaving our shirts on.
