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“Sounds promising. Glad you went,” Nolan replied as we found a space to park.
We met Perry and Anthony inside in the middle of the opening act. We got drinks and found a place to stand near the back wall. The Blind Pig was packed, and we were quiet as we listened. The bass player was good, and his Ibanez looked vintage and pretty sweet. Perry was mesmerized by the whole setup, and no doubt he would give us some speech about how we could draw this sort of crowd if only we’d do this or that. We generally tolerated his aspirations, but sometimes it was annoying because it felt like pressure and unrealistic expectations. Especially when the rest of us were content with what we had.
By the time the headliner went on, we were hyped and getting loud, clapping and cheering. It felt good to be out and enjoying music just for the sake of it. It felt like too long since we’d done that, even though it really wasn’t. But now my life seemed divided in time—before the robbery and after—which was wild.
At one point, I got so lost in the music that I felt like myself again, pretending to play air guitar along with the key refrain. I could see the guys smile at each other, saw the relief on their faces. They knew I hadn’t been myself lately—not that they’d expected me to be.
Perry started talking to a group of ladies I recognized from other local bars. They were the sort of women I normally enjoyed talking to because they loved music and live bands. But I stood back and pretended to be appreciating the show too much to participate in the conversation.
One of the women was chatting up Nolan, and I could see why—he was handsome with his bowler hat and the jacket that had some pattern and sheen that went well with his jeans. With his diamond earring and black-beaded leather bangle, he had this coolness factor I could never pull off.
During the end of the first set, the women had wandered off to the bar, so I told Nolan, “Hey, if you wanna go hang out or whatever, you should.”
He glanced behind him to the bar. “Yeah, maybe.”
Even though I encouraged it, I felt sick to my stomach, and I didn’t know why. He was free to hook up with anyone he chose, and I felt guilty he hadn’t since I’d been hanging out at his place so much. But Nolan never left my side and never approached the woman after that, even when Perry headed over to them. I didn’t question Nolan about it again, but I was curious why he’d decided not to since he seemed to be enjoying the conversation with her.
After the show, we drove home, and I followed Nolan to his apartment. “Are you sure you didn’t want—”
“Want what?” Nolan asked, punching the elevator button for his floor.
I looked away. “A hookup.”
“I’m sure. Haven’t been in the mood lately—and no, it’s not because of you.”
“Okay.” The doors pinged open, and we went inside his place, toeing out of our shoes at the door as if it had become our routine, and I supposed, in a way, it had.
“I’m too keyed up after that amazing show to go to bed,” Nolan said, heading to the sink and retrieving two glasses to fill with water. Another of our routines. Christ, that was strange to think about. “Wanna plunk around on our instruments or watch something?”
“Probably too late to make music. Let’s find something to watch.” We had finished all the seasons of the show we’d been invested in the past month, so after downing our waters and settling on the couch, Nolan picked up the remote and started clicking around, landing on something called Heartthrob.
I immediately recognized some of the characters from memes floating around. “Oh, this is the show some of the teachers have been buzzing about. I bet a few of my students have also watched it, though they’re too young. I can guarantee their parents don’t know they’ve sneaked in some episodes. But that’s how it goes. I was watching Stephen King when I was ten.”
“True. Well, by all means, let’s watch whatever is popular with middle schoolers,” Nolan said with a laugh before glancing at the screen. He sucked in a breath. “Wait a minute…this is about what exactly? Are these dudes…?”
I was too busy not breathing to answer him as two young guys started frantically kissing in the bathroom of a club.
I must’ve made a noise in the back of my throat because Nolan gripped my arm. “Hey, are you okay?”
“I, uh…yeah, sure.” I was completely distracted by the make-out session, my whole body coming alive. The guys were rough but somehow tender too, and I had never paid any attention to two dudes being intimate before.
