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“Suppose that makes sense. Shana said some people don’t clue in until later in life.”
My gaze sprang to his. “You told her about us?”
He shook his head. “She guessed. Said I talked about you a lot and that it was the same for her, actually, with a friend. The whole music thing from a floor above didn’t help.”
Fuck, I swore under my breath. What were the chances? But maybe people were queerer than we’d both realized or even considered before.
Ellis grimaced. “What will the guys say? We should figure this out before we get on the road for that Cleveland show next weekend.”
I shrugged. “We don’t have to say anything. This is just me and you, and no one has to know until we work through this. Okay?”
“Yeah, okay,” Ellis said, and I could see the relief in his eyes. “So what now?”
“I dunno. It all feels surreal. But I’ll admit I think about you way more than I ever have, and I’m curious about all sorts of things.”
“Like what?” He shifted his legs, and I wondered if he was feeling uncomfortable in more ways than one.
“Like what it would be like to touch and kiss another guy.” I met his eyes. “To kiss you.”
“Me too.” Ellis blew out a ragged breath. “So maybe we should try it, and if it sucks, then we know.”
“No pressure there.” My hand shook as I wound it through my hair.
It was another full second before he barked out a laugh, and it was contagious.
“Fucking hell, Nolan, why is this so hard? We’ve kissed plenty of women.”
“Maybe because we’re best friends and everything could implode?”
“Not if we don’t let it.” He scooted closer to me. “Okay?”
“Okay,” I whispered, my heart thundering in anticipation. I edged forward until our knees bumped, meeting him in the middle.
We stared at each other, both terrified of making the first move, until I decided to be brave. I angled my face toward him, looking from his eyes to his mouth in case he changed his mind. When our lips brushed, I heard his breath hitch. It was only a ghost of a kiss, but my mouth tingled from the contact.
“Okay?” I asked, and he nodded. So I tentatively pressed my mouth to his again as my pulse throbbed. His lips were surprisingly soft, our kiss careful as our mouths met again and again.
He made a noise in the back of his throat before his hand came up to grip my hair, his fingernails tickling my scalp. My entire body short-circuited.
I wound my hands in the back of his shirt and pulled him closer as our kisses turned frantic and messy but also intoxicating. I couldn’t get enough.
The first taste of his tongue was electric, and I needed more.
We attacked each other’s mouths, desperation evident in our groans.
“Ellis.” I lay back, dragging him with me, and there it was, nirvana, as our bodies lined up along with our heartbeats. I could feel his stiffness through our jeans as my fingers itched to touch him in a more meaningful way, but I didn’t know what he expected or if he’d freak.
I sucked in a breath when his lips traveled down my jaw to my throat. I could feel his scruff, and it was such a new sensation. “Damn,” I said, my voice husky. “I like that. Your scruff…it feels good.”
“Yeah? I was thinking the same about your hands.” He reached for my fingers. “The roughness from playing without a pick.”
My stomach felt all fluttery as he grinned down at me.
Ellis watched my expression, then kissed my throat while his fingertips skimmed down my shirt to my waistband, so close—but not close enough—to my shaft.
The sensation was so overwhelming that I shuddered and pulled him to me, taking his mouth in a bruising kiss as we rutted against each other. “I have no idea what I’m doing.”
“Neither do I,” he said, “but it feels amazing.”
“It does. I’m so hard, I feel like I might explode.”
Ellis snickered. “Hope we don’t make a mess of ourselves.”
“Maybe we should…remove some clothes? It’s not like we haven’t seen each other in our underwear.”
“True.”
He drew away to let me up, and we kept our eyes on each other as we painstakingly removed our shirts and then our jeans. His stiff cock was prominent against the thin material of his boxers, and mine wasn’t any better.
He shifted uneasily as gooseflesh lined his skin. “Now what?”
“Come on.” I reached for his hand and tugged him toward the bedroom. “I’ve cuddled you plenty of times just like this in the middle of the night.”
“True,” Ellis said again with a shy smile as he lay down in the middle of the comforter and urged me to join him. I sank down on top, and without the added barriers of our bulky clothes, it was so much better. We kissed and ground together until our lips were swollen and sore.
